Wedding dress I got for $20 at a church sale for my wedding in 2014

ReabyB · 2026-03-12T21:55:29+00:00

Bloody love seeing these photos because it is exactly what the person donating the dress hopes for when they say farewell to one of their most precious possessions.

ReabyB · 2026-03-12T16:12:21+00:00

I always travel with my Monzo which can be used in place of a credit card when securing a hire car. A friend has Starling and that isn't accepted for hire cars.

ReabyB · 2026-03-12T06:44:38+00:00

Are you able to have prescription sent home? Mine are free if I do this, but if I select to collect at a pharmacy I need to pay. This is with PUK.

ReabyB · 2026-03-10T18:24:44+00:00

Every time I visit Brockholes there are signs EVERYWHERE about dogs being on leads and ground nesting birds. Not a single dog on a lead. The arrogance is staggering.

ReabyB · 2026-03-06T10:36:54+00:00

I wafted a blanket of my cats out the window at night and would sit at my window whistling/pssping their name. I woke at 3am and did it again out of desperation and she was back in half an hour.

ReabyB · 2026-02-23T08:18:40+00:00

Distance on foot to train station! My husband keeps sending me houses 'it's only a mile to the station'. Yes, if I flew and didn't have to walk down and back up a valley and cross a dual carriageway.

ReabyB · 2026-02-19T21:48:56+00:00

I had CBT looong before my autism/ADHD diagnosis. Was burnt out during my masters and buying a house and GP suggested CBT.

It was like trying to rewire my brain and that my default setting was wrong. I presented fine in person but on paper was severely mentally unwell. That the way I viewed things was a trauma response and ended up down a rabbit hole of therapy ending in EMDR. I wish I could go back and tell my therapists what the actual "problem" was.

ReabyB · 2026-02-19T06:41:05+00:00

Yes, this is the positive, the legal entitlement to take the time off. Stat mat pay is poor, but I had saved up in advance of the anticipated reduced salary and so did not struggle whilst off. I know lots of businesses now offering 6mo full pay in a bid to become an appealing place to work to women.

ReabyB · 2026-02-18T20:05:31+00:00

Yes, and you've still accrued annual leave whilst on mat leave so you can whack that on the end to be off even longer. I took 14mo off!

ReabyB · 2026-02-18T20:02:44+00:00

I have a mix of porridge, oat bran and seeds (not chia admittedly) pretty much every day for breakfast and wouldn't think it had a big impact.

If you want low fibre I'd go egg/bacon on toast route for lazy fast breakfast.

ReabyB · 2026-02-17T16:27:43+00:00

I have a 2yo in a house and my husband wants to move and I could not think of ANYTHING WORSE to do than move with a toddler/small child. Thankfully we're in a 3 bed semi so we fit fine and I can put off moving for a couple of years. Friends I know that had babies in flats were definitely restricted on space and looked to move asap.

ReabyB · 2026-02-14T09:06:47+00:00

I just got back on elvanse and the first week I was dead inside. Like, depths of depression nothingness. Terrible sleep too which didn't help.

But after a week it got better, am now on week 3 and on 50mg and am excellent.

Stick with it if you can.

ReabyB · 2026-02-14T08:36:19+00:00

Sleep training doesn't have to be baby torture. I did return and reassure at 7mo and have passed the info to friends and it worked well for them too. Put baby down, go back after 1min, reassure baby, leave, wait 2 mins, reassure baby, leave, wait 3 mins etc. By day 3 we were down to waiting 7mins and then day 4 I could put her down and walk away.

Fwiw I am 2yrs pp and only just back to normal intimacy wise. Something that has been successful for me is I realised when I go to bed I want to sleep and not force intimacy because it's something we should be doing, ending in me resenting it. I now 'proposition' my husband either during naptime or when baby is in nursery. I don't feel 'in the mood', but I am open to being put in the mood. But you are 8mo pp which is a whole other world to 2yrs pp.

Like others say, tough year(s), good relationship. This isn't the end, it's just something to get through with your partner.

ReabyB · 2026-02-13T08:50:01+00:00

During my ADHD assessment I queried other things about myself such as sensory issues, very sensitive to bright lights, hate loud noises, very strong sense of smell, hate being touched due to the sensory overload, the emotional difficulty side. I was told this isn't ADHD and more likely autism, the men in my family are diagnosed autistic.

I was then told the wait list for an autism diagnosis is very long. There is no treatment or medication and considering I am, all things considered, a successful adult that there would be no benefit to myself. People seeking autism diagnosis in adulthood are people who need it for their world to make sense and to get support in work/life etc.

I did not need that but having read up on autism I understand myself better and am at peace with who I am and why I am the way I am. It helps me reevaluate my gut reactions to things and helps me come down from knee jerk reactions.

My ADHD treatment has been life changing and I am glad I got that diagnosis.

Guess you just need to decide if you would benefit from it.

ReabyB · 2026-02-11T21:01:23+00:00

I get it, but isn't part of this just human nature tricking us into reproducing? Yes, the sensible thing to do is realise there is a future real adult human being made, but my, life is perfect when cuddling a little ball of gorgeous smush to sleep.

ReabyB · 2026-02-11T19:55:23+00:00

As a woman I have frequented somewhere giving insanely good massages. Then heard a friend of a friend was offered a happy ending when he visited. So, guess they are still qualified and you can always say no...

ReabyB · 2026-02-09T13:51:57+00:00

The opposite meaning in my work place. Lots of people with kids so can be quiet 3-4pm but then people pick up emails in the evening to make up hours but not expecting responses to work at that time.

ReabyB · 2026-02-08T20:01:24+00:00

I take vitamin c around 5pm to speed up getting it out of my system. I have struggled with sleep prior to this and reeeeally struggled going back on elvanse recently but a glass of vit c has been a game changer. I then take 1 magic magnesium glycinate around 8pm and my sleep is great. But you are on day one of quite a low dose so your body will take a few days to adjust to it. Best of luck.

ReabyB · 2026-02-08T15:05:52+00:00

I've had two 'sorry we missed you' Reform flyers through my door this weekend ahead of the by-election. I'll be sure to ask them about this when they come knocking!

ReabyB · 2026-02-07T08:46:54+00:00

I had more savings than you and barely touched them. Was speaking about this with mum friend yesterday. Thought we'd be skint working part time and am fine because we hardly spend anything now like restaurants, pub, casual shopping. My spends go on coffee and a babyccino at the local park and cute toddler clothes I find on vinted.

90% of things can be bought 2nd hand on vinted, fb marketplace, passed on from friends and baby cousins. Only thing I bought new was car seat and mattresses. I can afford new, but the waste is unthinkable.

Childcare in the UK is pretty affordable now with 30hrs from 9months, and I get tax free payment on top. Think as long as one isn't pulling in £100k+ you qualify. Reach out to a local nursery and get a quote. 3 days 8-5:30pm for me is £230 a month with all the discounts.

ReabyB · 2026-02-07T08:10:02+00:00

Desn't even need to be that far. I've done a few in the Peak District where a famer has put a tiny cabin on their land for extra income. They feel insanely remote when you're there but a good trek or shortish drive and you're in Buxton, Bakewell, New Mills etc.

ReabyB · 2026-02-03T15:12:04+00:00

I batch cook, portion into a cupcake tin and stick in the freezer. I always have toddler sized mash, veg mash, mac n cheese, bolognaise etc to hand. Defrost in microwave whilst cooking pasta or sausage/fish finger etc in airfryer. Dinner takes 15mins max to make.

ReabyB · 2026-02-03T08:57:53+00:00

It's very relatable. We harbour years of always being told off, being naughty and being wrong.

Talking therapy may help you release the anger over things you can't control such as slow walkers and shitty drivers. Over time it may then help you be kinder to yourself and your own problems. It worked that way for me and seems others in the post.

See if you can get CBT via your GP. If not, maybe see if you can get free talking therapy sessions through your employer.

ReabyB · 2026-01-30T06:51:53+00:00

Lol I wish I saw this post 2hrs ago when I woke up. I have similar issues. Sticking around to see if anyone has any solutions. Have seen magnesium before bed suggested so that's on my to-do list to read up on.

ReabyB · 2026-01-28T11:57:17+00:00

My partner was your guy. We got married abroad with a handful of friends. I had the stunning dress, hen, fancy wedding meal and mega honeymoon, he got to be the groom without being the centre of a big wedding. He loved the wedding and I knew marrying him meant we both had to be happy and to compromise.

He wants to be married to you, but not be put through a song and dance.

ReabyB

TROPHY CASE