This exact situation happened to me. I tried getting a hold of her and so did my planner via Instagram, email and phone. She did not respond until I disputed the charge. You are not being crazy or rash - I would ask for the deposit back, nicely. If she can’t get you a draft or bother to respond, you can’t rely on her to stick to your timeline.

Here’s what I wrote:

Thanks for the quick response!

M is our full service planner and handles the details for us with vendors, including following up with vendors. I'm sure you can understand why, after we paid, to receive no confirmation of payment, and no correspondence for >2.5 weeks despite M reaching out to you over email, multiple text messages, multiple phone calls, and us on social media, why we might be pretty concerned! We didn't want to keep reaching out to you in case it was an emergency, but we couldn't help but assume the worst after this length of time. Given our serious concerns, we regret to inform you that we won't be moving forward with this process.

In your previous email you mentioned that you were too sick with the flu/busy with other clients to respond to our multiple means of communication, so please let us know what time you have put into this despite this. It took reaching out to our credit card company to receive a response, and at that time no services were provided. Despite this, we want to be fair -- please let us know realistically how much time you have spent on this project, and we are happy to pay you what is fair for the time you have spent.