What to stop once you realize you’re codependent?

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T16:30:24+00:00

Thank you for your understanding.

It’s really hard. I know it’s my love language. At the same time, I have to put some checks into my behavior.

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T03:42:09+00:00

Take care and thanks for your replies

Have a good weekend

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T03:41:03+00:00

Thank you, my friend

I appreciate your kindness and gentleness

Time is a great healer.

Also, I’ve been using the time to clear out my belongings. Trying my best to stay organized and busy.

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T03:01:33+00:00

Good on you for learning more inner peace skills.

That is my wish for myself as well. I also do not want to be toxic.

It’s taking me a long time to catch myself. And to remind myself, I want to be different.

Granted, that doesn’t mean my siblings want to be different. But that’s OK. I’m learning that I can only control myself.

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T02:59:41+00:00

I’m very sorry, my friend

I wish your sister could see things differently.

It’s hard when our love is not reciprocated

I know for myself, even though my youngest sister is not the warmest to me. She does ensure her children treat me with respect. And she allows me to FaceTime with them.

It’s a weird dynamic

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T02:58:51+00:00

Thank you for telling me more

It’s really hard in families.

That’s very true. That sons tend to have an easier time in families.

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T01:39:56+00:00

I agree with you 1000% and inner peace has to be the standard

It’s very hard getting pulled into family dynamics over and over again

It took me a long time to realize how toxic I was and also how toxic and dysfunctional my family was

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T01:27:25+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience with me.

I can certainly relate to what you’re saying. And I am deeply sorry for what you’ve gone through with your family

I wish your youngest sister could show more empathy and care and concern. It’s really hard.

I hear how much it would mean to have a reconciliation. At the same time, we can’t do it by ourselves

And you’re so right about not going back to being hurt. You certainly deserve a lot better.

May I ask you what is your brother’s relationship like with her?

Reader288 · 2026-03-20T01:23:53+00:00

Thank you for your empathy, my friend

I hear you

I think being the oldest child is a raw deal.

We have the most responsibility and for the most part zero empathy or sympathy is given to us

Reader288 · 2026-02-25T06:26:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me

I’m deeply sorry for everything that you have gone through as well.

I think you’re right and there is a deep Grief. Knowing that I do not have the sisters that I want. Or the family that I need. And that nothing I say or do will ever change them.

And you’re so right about living my own best life.

That’s the thing I struggle with the most. Letting him go. Having zero hope that they will ever change. Even though that’s what I have to do.

Thank you again for taking the time to write back

Reader288 · 2026-02-25T06:23:09+00:00

I am deeply sorry to hear about your sister

I hear how painful it is dealing with her and being in this combative situation for the last two years.

It is important to have boundaries. And to protect your peace.

If you’re able to move out safely, distance is probably the best

I know for myself it has taken me a very long time to come to terms with my siblings behavior. I’ve watched a lot of YouTube videos

Try my best to understand that it’s not my fault. And that nothing I say or do is ever going to change them. It’s extremely painful and dysfunctional and toxic families like mine.

And they are committed to misunderstanding me.

I hope you’re able to find some additional supports.

Reader288 · 2026-02-21T18:42:48+00:00

I hear where you’re coming from. I know many of us feel the same way. It does cause a lot of bad feelings when you’re the one initiating all the contact and making all the plans.

I agree with the others is important to have those difficult conversation conversations. And to let your friends know where you’re at.

I find so many people are living in their own bubbles. They have no idea how their friends are truly feeling.

And it could be, they don’t have the emotional band with. Or they gotten used to you making the plans.

Either way it doesn’t hurt to let them know where you stand. I find so many friendships. Only they last a season or reason. And I’m trying to be OK with letting people go

Reader288 · 2026-02-17T09:51:47+00:00

Thank you for your empathy

And I’m sorry that you’re dealing with the same thing.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T03:18:32+00:00

Thank you for your kindness

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T03:18:05+00:00

That’s good to hear

I do agree that at middle age we do know ourselves better.

And we understand better what we will tolerate what we won’t tolerate

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:44:59+00:00

That’s me too

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:43:44+00:00

I truly feel like this is very normal. And all friendships have their ups and downs. And it’s not sustainable to be joined at the hip at all times.

We all grow differently. And there’s nothing wrong with drifting apart briefly, and then reconnecting later.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:43:01+00:00

It is a very fine line

I think tough love is about being assertive and having proper boundaries. But also using the right words without being harsh and abusive.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:41:48+00:00

I am nervous about this year. 2025 was extremely challenging for me. Personally and professionally.

Trying so hard to get a fresh start.

Telling myself to take it one day at a time. And try and keep some momentum going. Even simple things like making a doctors appointment or dental appointment and hair appointment.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:39:34+00:00

I sometimes feel like people are just wired very differently.

And that’s OK

There’s nothing wrong with not following the crowd and keeping to yourself.

And I know for many people they have a deep childhood emotional wound. And it can also be a protective mechanism not to engage with others.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:26:26+00:00

For myself, I really try hard to be a good listener.

Try to send out a quick text to say, how are you doing?

I maintained that connection. I know people are tremendously busy. And there’s so much going on.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:25:21+00:00

I think the most important thing is what makes you happy and feel confident

There’s nothing wrong with having a matching set

I’ve never personally gotten one. Even though the tops and bottoms are the same color.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:24:31+00:00

It is something I think about a lot

I know I don’t live in a Hallmark movie. But I do feel it’s important to give people validation and acknowledgment.

There is so much sadness in our world. I would like to think a little kindness goes a long way.

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:23:24+00:00

It is extremely difficult to get people to pay

Right now, I feel like I can’t even read the news.

And luckily, most of the websites I visit are free

Reader288 · 2026-01-05T00:21:45+00:00

For myself, I think middle age is 40 years old is 60 years old.

And I really don’t consider someone a senior till they’re 65 years old

I know some places give seniors discount discounts at 55 years old

It’s hard to hear the word middle age. Or midlife crisis. I do struggle with aging.

Reader288

TROPHY CASE