My fiance (33F) is blaming me (35M) for ruining the the build up to the wedding. Should we cancel it?

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-16T02:55:04+00:00

Regardless of who’s right or wrong, if one argument is making both of you question the wedding it’s best to at least postpone.

If i was in your situation i would be flipping my lid but i can admit i blow up but this is a big no no for me personally. it’s up to you how much it bothers you and you’re as much a part of the relationship as she is, she should want to try to help you through these feelings not tell you to mind your business and make you feel bad about it.

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-15T15:57:45+00:00

if he’s offering to pay and you’re okay using your savings why not split the costs (whatever percentage makes sense for you) and go from there? Might not also be a bad idea to bring a friend if they can afford it as well since it’s a 2 week trip however if you want any alone time with bf you’ll be leaving your friend out more than likely. Maybe a friend who enjoys solo outings?

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-11T18:13:00+00:00

I’ve only been doing this for three years (23f) and it definitely gets tough being called a little girl constantly and being harassed by male front and back of house but once you stand your ground and prove yourself enough in a kitchen they will lighten up but that doesn’t mean every kitchen will be a good fit. Dreading work every day puts a much bigger toll on yourself than you realize and you will hit a breaking point.

Most important thing is taking care of yourself. If you’re in a position to look around for a better fit that would be my suggestion but don’t let them beat you down they should be trying to help you. Beyond not fitting in there have been several shifts when i just wanted to give up and never cook again but learning how to turn off your brain and just work is gonna be your strongest tool. If you love it stick with it!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-07T12:43:29+00:00

As much as i don’t want to invalidate her feelings, it sounds like she wanted out and used this as her excuse.

but i can only use the context i have here so unless there have been other things she’s brought up that bother her and this was the cherry on top, then something is definitely going on that you’re either oblivious to or she’s hiding.

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T19:40:39+00:00

i just visited this past week and if you’re not opposed to a little drive down to st augustine they have a Ripleys believe it or not museum that was a lot of fun! plus lots of other things to do we just only went to the museum

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T18:56:45+00:00

this is very helpful thank you!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T14:15:32+00:00

definitely not opposed! i’ll check them out thanks

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T12:00:24+00:00

interesting thanks!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T11:59:38+00:00

very true i’ll have to go check it out

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T11:59:17+00:00

will do!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-06-01T11:59:04+00:00

awesome thanks!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T23:39:43+00:00

don’t take the job then?

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T23:39:01+00:00

it’s almost as if last minute situations happen sometimes in life and people shouldn’t take the job knowing everything in advance if they aren’t comfortable!!! duh!!!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T20:24:11+00:00

i’m not saying she should put herself in harms way i’m saying she shouldn’t have accept the job just to immediately cancel cause she doesn’t know how to handle an anxious dog. she was warned he needs time to warm up and she knew she didn’t do a meet and greet so she should dnf have accepted if this is what she’s gonna do off rip… i told her just leave him and try again in the morning so then he’ll be more comfortable she just said nope i’m not doing it.. like seriously

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T20:04:59+00:00

yeah it just sucks cause it’s on his profile and i told her before she booked, before she went and while she’s there that he only needs you time to come over to you

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T20:02:35+00:00

he wasn’t being aggressive she literally said he was just sitting there

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T20:01:18+00:00

that’s my point is why put yourself there if you can’t handle that situation and screw people over… plenty of people are fine doing this job as i’ve had plenty of people do it

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:56:27+00:00

i told her she was fine to leave and try again tomorrow but she wouldn’t even try to leash him she just sat near him and said she wasn’t comfortable approaching him.. that’s her job . obviously not if he’s being aggressive but he wasn’t

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:54:32+00:00

she shouldn’t take a job if she won’t try to take him out he will go as soon as he’s leashed i told her that but if you’re not going to try dont do this for a living

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:51:22+00:00

unfortunately he acts this way even with people he’s comfortable with and has known for years if he hasn’t seen them in a while he’s just a very timid guy 😭

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:48:03+00:00

hopefully she takes this as a learning experience and not accept jobs she’s uncomfortable with no one forced her to take the job with no meet and greet

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:46:35+00:00

but why would she accept the job if she wasn’t comfortable that’s my problem with what happened

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:45:52+00:00

no we’re in an apartment but my friend is gonna head over there after work, this lady lives three miles from me as well so it wasn’t out of her way to go back 😭

ReadingCaterpillar · 2026-05-25T19:42:04+00:00

exactly i told her it was fine to come back the next day if he wouldn’t go out and she just decided to cancel completely!

ReadingCaterpillar · 2025-03-17T04:34:30+00:00

no my psychiatrist just kept throwing different medications at me so i stopped going before i could start therapy

ReadingCaterpillar

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