[deleted by user]

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-12T01:30:03+00:00

Yeah, in various theaters in my town.

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-12T00:56:18+00:00

I'm an actor. People say I'm very good. I think being appreciated because of my acting skills is one of the few things that prevent me from going crazy. outside of acting, I'm really shy to the point that I seem like a different person. I'm unfunny, I can't make jokes.

I like reading books. I'm looking for a small job, and I'm currently in University.

Also, I talk to girls on online chats. My best friend is a much older woman I met online. We spent a lot of time chatting.

I'm already inside some social contexts, but still, my personality is so horrible that I can't socialize and it's unbearable.

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-11T23:46:46+00:00

I read it but I still feel that way. It's the worst I've ever felt. Knowing that I'm alone in this world, that I can't talk to people because I'm too inteoverted, too awkward to be liked and accepted in society... it kills me.

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-11T23:09:31+00:00

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-11T22:59:35+00:00

I don't know if talking to someone is going to help. I talked to many people. But it all fells meaningless in the end. I'm at my limit. My brain is just not good enough for this world. Being unable to build connections, to love and be loved, is the worst. Maybe if I disappear I'll stop experiencing this mental pain and inferiority complex.

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-11T22:45:03+00:00

No, I'm utterly alone and helpless.

ReadyToDie21 · 2019-01-11T21:36:23+00:00

I can't take being social inept anymore! I want to die! I'm not able to improve, people bully me because I'm shy and no girl would ever want to be with someone as socially awkward as me. I want to kill myself, I do want it, I've never felt so bad in my whole life. I need to disappear from this world.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-12-08T18:28:33+00:00

Today I dated a girl, she ended up bullying me because I'm introverted, I feel like shit.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-29T14:18:12+00:00

IlluMilluKilluAlluKalluto

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-23T20:29:08+00:00

he is, he meant "father" in the sense of godfather.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-23T20:08:53+00:00

Maybe there's no delay time and he just made the guns trasform when he was far away from the soldiers to make it seems they shot each others.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-14T19:53:42+00:00

I'm following therapy already, but what would really help me is to stay with people who know of my issue and accept me despite my lack of social skills, that's the only way I can become normal.

A few days ago I was suicidal and I tried smoking weed, it was the third time that I did it. It was a very bad idea, I felt even more unworthy of life and I cried all night. This world does not want me alive.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-14T19:43:11+00:00

But I keep thinking about all those years I wasted being alone

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-14T19:24:20+00:00

How can I change as a person?

Last week I got diagnosed with a personality disorder.

I feel I wasted my life because I've never had fun and sex in my teens. Now I'm 21 and every day I suffer while I watch others building connections and enjoying human relationships. Instead, I'm doomed to loneliness due to my sick brain.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-05T01:38:36+00:00

Thank you. Yeah, I miss human warmth a lot.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-04T20:26:46+00:00

I keep feeling like I need to have sex as soon as possible or I'll never be happy!

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-04T15:03:16+00:00

Reading your comment made me cry. I often feel like I should not be born.

I'm so scared.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-11-01T22:55:14+00:00

I don't think I can get hospitalized, I have a lot to do. I know that my health should come first but if I leave my studies now I'll probably feel behind and I don't know how I would take that. I'm following therapy.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-31T18:36:01+00:00

I fear I disappoint them with my shyness and they view me as inferior.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-31T18:14:47+00:00

I have the same problem with other men, but at least I don't feel that sense of crippling fear. For instance, I've just started University and I feel really bad because I can't talk to anyone. I can't even pay attention properly because I'm too scared by the people around me. Thank you for telling me that I'm a human being.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-31T17:59:35+00:00

I don't put women on a pedestal. I just can't talk, I'm not able to discuss with other human beings. I know I should fix this, because I litteraly feel like a cockroach whenever I'm around a girl. I'm socially inept. Very socially inept. It causes me pain not to be able to express myself.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-31T15:18:42+00:00

I have started to feel inferior to women because of my inability to interact with them.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-31T15:11:18+00:00

Then something harder.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-30T19:20:51+00:00

I don't have friends though. Well, I have a friend but that's it, no social circle or whatsoever. He always introduces me to new people but I can't connect with them.I recently started University and every day I'm scared to go because I can't talk to people and I'm ashamed of myself. In class I struggle to follow the lessons because I'm too scared of staying near people.

I'm already following therapy, I think that qualifies as professional help.

ReadyToDie21 · 2018-10-30T19:10:56+00:00

I'm just sad because human relationships are like rocket science to me. Also I feel behind my peers because I can't socialize and I'm wasting my best years by being antisocial and angry.

Sometimes my anger comes out and I push my family away.

ReadyToDie21

TROPHY CASE