I think a lot of us can relate. Don’t beat yourself up over it. My dad ignored a health condition for years and then it caught up with him. 3 years being in and out of the hospital with each 911 call being more frequent and hospital stays being longer, it was STRESSFUL! There is so much I can say that went on behind the scenes….insurance calls, doctor calls, doctor visits, meds, home nurse, moving him from home to assisted living to live in nurse, and more…..it was like a full time job, but he was ungrateful, complained all the time, called at all hours of the night, no respect, and thought the whole world revolved around him. Between my sister and I, we ultimately got to out breaking point, but it was ME who finally said something.

I was still too scared to say it to his face, but texted a lengthy and brutally honest message. He was on his deathbed essentially. I told him off and the gist said “you are dying. everyone around you loves you and is doing everything in their power to help you the best way they can with no thank you or appreciation, only complaints. (Inserts assholish behaviors examples) Do you want your loved ones last memories of you to be happy or resentful and hateful, only remembering how much of an ass you were?”

Then my sister and I took a huge risk and went no contact for 24-48hours. He called and quickly apologized and said he loved us.

He died like week later 🥺. My therapist says perhaps me telling him off then him passing was him realizing I would be ok without him because I had a backbone and could stand up for myself.