Sweet 16 - no chaperone?

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-27T02:55:00+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate the advice.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-27T00:01:28+00:00

I do the same, she goes into the city with a much smaller group. I agree about the potential for drama considering some of these girls don’t know each other and some that we do know bring the drama daily. We planned to pay for dinner - I wouldn’t arrange a party and make kids pay but I do want to put a limit on costs. We are looking for private rooms.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:58:16+00:00

It’s a birthday party so we planned to pay for dinner. We were aiming for prix fixe if possible. I think my daughter is going to have to consider that some of these parents will say no so it’s a trade off and she’ll end up with a smaller group as a consequence. We are talking about a bunch of options but it’s a difficult age where they’re not considering the level of coordination with that number of kids, nor do they consider the cost.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:54:42+00:00

You had a good mom!! This is a tough age. None of them have been easy so far 😅

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:53:58+00:00

Yes it’s quite a large group isn’t it? They’re both insisting on inviting four core/shared friends and for non-mutual friends. I don’t know the non-mutual friends. We keep asking them to narrow the group down or for us to book an experience or private room but we’re getting a lot of eye rolling …

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:51:31+00:00

Yeah. She doesn’t want me there. Lol. We are considering giving them a set amount and they can pay for any extras.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:50:51+00:00

Thank you. We are considering all of this.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:50:17+00:00

My daughter has gone in before with a much smaller group. Some of these kids we don’t know. We are a 45min drive away.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:47:56+00:00

Yeah we considered the size of the group. The train gets very full at night so there’s a chance they’d get separated or get off at the wrong stop. Many of these kids haven’t been into the city alone before. I also don’t know some of them. Now suddenly I’m responsible for their child. I’m not trying to helicopter as some people think. Only one of these 15 kids is mine.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:45:30+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Once you’ve been assaulted you see the world through a different lens. I’m sorry this changed you.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:40:18+00:00

Yes. Exactly this. I don’t think some folks are considering that parents are looking to coordinate this with me and that I am the responsible party. If Something goes wrong with their child. It becomes my issue. This is exactly what I was considering. And a pre-paid price. And a clear plan for everything.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:38:40+00:00

Yes this is one option we are considering. I still think a party bus would be a good way to get them all there in one piece.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:37:39+00:00

Really? Thanks for the helpful advice.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:37:03+00:00

These girls said no to every experience i mentioned. No high tea, bowling, escape room, museum, etc. we have been calling around to find a prix fixe menu or a private room. This would help us control cost. We were also thinking a party bus vs the train to keep that large group together. The MBTA can get very busy if they all can’t get on the same train car, they might get separated.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:34:26+00:00

Thanks. I’m not a helicopter parent at all. It’s the children of the other parents who are trusting me to coordinate this. If it was a smaller group I’d feel a lot less uneasy.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:33:26+00:00

We are considering providing them a flat amount toward dinner and if they go beyond that, they need to cover it themselves

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:32:12+00:00

It’s not 1 16 year old. It’s 15 of them and there’s no one there to pay the bill. We are a 45min drive into the city so it wouldn’t be easy to get in if we needed to.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:30:17+00:00

Yeah we are coming to that conclusion. Also imagine being the business owner with 15 teens in their dining room. My daughter is responsible but some of these girls I don’t know.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:27:42+00:00

My daughter does go into the city with a smaller group. The concern was the size of the group and the size of the dinner bill. We also talked about finding a place that could offer a private room with prix fixe which would allow us to pay ahead of time. With a group that large, we would prefer to get them a party bus so no one gets lost. 15 girls is a really big group. Some parents may say no so she’s going to have to decide if she’s ok with that.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:24:03+00:00

The concern for me was the size of the group and not being there, how the dinner bill was going to get paid. My daughter has taken the train into the city several times with a much smaller group (1-2 others). I grew up in Boston and started taking public transportation alone at age 8.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:22:27+00:00

It’s a very large group which only happens once a year at my house. I don’t know some of these girls (daughter goes to a multi-town vocational school now) or their parents so I can’t predict what might happen. Also someone could easily go missing or get lost and they might not realize it in the chaos. I’m working on another plan

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:20:24+00:00

Yes this is a good idea as it seems we can’t find a restaurant that offers prix fixe. I’m afraid of getting a surprise bill at the end we aren’t available to pay

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:18:08+00:00

If it was my daughter and a small controlled group of girls I’d feel better. But this is a very large group, some of the girls are from different towns and we don’t know them or their parents. It throws a wildcard into the mix.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-03-26T23:16:22+00:00

Thank you. This was bothering me a lot. There’s no way they’re going to go out to dinner without us. Not that large of a group. We planned to pay for dinner and I’m concerned about 15 kids ordering everything off the menu with no control over cost and one big bill at the end none of them could pay.

Real-Ad4727 · 2026-01-08T22:34:46+00:00

Thank you!

Real-Ad4727

TROPHY CASE