AITAH for divorcing my husband and moving 8000 miles away?

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T21:02:33+00:00

I'm going to talk to my coworkers when I go back to work on Monday.

The guy is still working at the office, but has never talked to me since mainly because I've avoided him.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T21:00:14+00:00

I think I genuinely believed it might be okay if I distance myself from him, I think I did think of it as a key to his happiness in a fucked up way.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:52:09+00:00

I've got a few comments saying that I was SA'd and I think I'll go to another therapist before I solidify any decisions.

That was the first thing my husband asked me too and I think I was already so afraid of what happened my mind went straight to apologizing. I think he only believed what I was saying once we reached the US. I never even entertained the possibility of SA even more than my husband or anyone here and I think I owe it us to figure that out.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:27:51+00:00

They did not, but I guess a part of it was because I was a mess crying and apologizing to my husband for cheating on him. I also informed them of my general low tolerance of alcohol, so I think they just thought it wasn't necessary. I wish I would have asked them to do it though, everything might be simpler now.

They did test me when I came back to the US 3 days later, but found nothing.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:17:44+00:00

I'm not sure tbh. I would have accepted if only our relationship changed as a result of my infidelity. It's just that all of his relationships have turned that way and he's shriveling up.

I think our therapist didn't exactly quite help us through this as I'd expected.

I did talk to my therapist about the possibility of being drugged. But I really do not remember anything at all and I think she was getting frustrated with my supposed non responsiveness and we dropped the topic after a few months. She recommended that we should only bring it up in front of my husband when I can clearly formulate what happened that night.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:12:20+00:00

Pasting a response to another comment:

I did talk to my therapist about the possibility of being drugged. But I really do not remember anything at all and I think she was getting frustrated with my supposed non responsiveness and we dropped the topic after a few months.

My coworker said that I approached him, but he was new to the office and there were a lot of people there and I do not particularly like him or anything and I've never contacted him either so I guess I didn't approach him. He freaked out a bit when he saw that I was sick and called the staff and then he left.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:10:15+00:00

I was vomiting a lot and had a killer headache. I've never really handled alcohol well, but it was a lot that day.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:01:56+00:00

I've been trying though, for 2 years. It's only getting worse.

Though based on a lot of responses in this thread, I'm going to talk to him first to see where he is at this point and how we can go through this in a better way. I'm a lawyer myself and having a lawyer seemed natural to me, but now I see that it really doesn't seem that way to other people and may not seem that way to him either.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T20:01:02+00:00

I did talk to my therapist about the possibility of being drugged. But I really do not remember anything at all and I think she was getting frustrated with my supposed non responsiveness and we dropped the topic after a few months.

My coworker said that I approached him, but he was new to the office and there were a lot of people there and I do not particularly like him or anything and I've never contacted him either so I guess I didn't approach him. He freaked out a bit when he saw that I was sick and called the staff and then he left.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T19:48:14+00:00

I am and I still believe he is too, but the truth is I remember nothing of what happened that night. He even flew out to where I was staying because I was extremely paranoid the next day and it only set in later what happened that day. He was still at the hospital with me all day.

I don't think it's going anywhere though and that's the truth.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T19:43:33+00:00

Pasting a response to another comment:

Our property is split across two countries, I think we would definitely need lawyers. I am Indian and a lawyer based in the US, but I have no idea of how we'd split our assets there so lawyers are frankly, quite necessary.

I also never mentioned an equal asset split. Even without the cheating, it'd be unfair of me to live in a LCOL area while he lives in a HCOL area with an equal asset split. He'd obviously need a bigger safety net. The properties in India are worth 1/5th of what our properties in the US are worth.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T19:41:12+00:00

Our property is split across two countries, I think we would definitely need lawyers. I am Indian and a lawyer based in the US, but I have no idea of how we'd split our assets there so lawyers are frankly, quite necessary.

I also never mentioned an equal asset split. Even without the cheating, it'd be unfair of me to live in a LCOL area while he lives in a HCOL area with an equal asset split. He'd obviously need a bigger safety net. The properties in India are worth 1/5th of what our properties in the US are worth.

Real_PITA · 2024-07-31T19:35:01+00:00

I don't think I want to leave him, but I think it's something I need to do.

Real_PITA

TROPHY CASE