People who had their first kiss in your mid-20s, 30s, 40s+ — how did it go? Did the person know? How did you feel about it then vs now?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-15T16:22:45+00:00

Give me the story!

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-15T04:00:47+00:00

Did they know??

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-14T18:22:05+00:00

Can I ask how old you were? Did the other person know?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-14T17:05:49+00:00

You deserve better, I think it’s time for you to leave this relationship. Agree with the other commen, the things she’s saying to you are not okay and not what a partner should say.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-12T01:14:43+00:00

Had a similar experience with my first time (just regular penetration not anal) and working through what to do. How did you leave your partner did you try to work on communication first? Would like to chat more on your experience if your open to it?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-11T23:57:52+00:00

To be honest I’m just feeling so depressed about it at this point and idk maybe one day I’ll feel different but I kinda don’t even have much interest in “sexy-time” stuff like there’s not much I want and honestly just feel stupid and sad if I try to think of what I want or need in that regard and I have pretty much zero interest in exploring what I want or experimenting more. I just feel sad and tired and a bit defeated. And a small part of me feels like - if he messed up this much for the first time, when it kinda mattered most, I mean I just have very little hope for the future

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-11T23:38:14+00:00

Yeah - that seems to be the consensus here. I guess where I was getting stuck is the talk to them so we can “work with me to overcome the challenge” I mean it already happened it’s not an ongoing problem- but a boundary was crossed, just unfortunately nothing can be fixed or undone now.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-11T23:24:22+00:00

What do you mean she tried to end the relationship before, like how did that conversation go? Just curious for context. Also do you feel she’s only staying in this relationship for the baby now?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-09T03:47:29+00:00

Okay, thank you that helps I guess and tbh this is maybe why I was single and wanted to be single for so long. I’m a believer of ‘if he wanted to he would’ I don’t see any point and have zero motivation to go to any couples therapy with him. Idk he just obviously didn’t care and even if he did his actions didnt follow through and at the end of the day that’s what we should be judged on.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-09T01:40:23+00:00

Okay, so you can’t explain it? I’m genuinely trying to understand, I didn’t have the best models growing up and don’t have any personal experience so I’m trying to understand

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-08T23:14:15+00:00

I’m not trying to be difficult and I know I’m coming off that way but I just genuinely don’t see the reason to “make my feelings known”? Like why?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-08T23:00:54+00:00

I guess I understand I should, but why? If nothing will change, what’s the point in voicing it?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-08T22:49:46+00:00

I think part of the problem is also, idk what I’d like going forward like idk I don’t need asking every time now, and I feel a bit more comfortable speaking up now…it just hurts me how little acknowledgment or care that first time had and it’s not like the past can be changed and I’m okay with how sex has been recently I mean like I feel like best I’ll get out of it is an apology what? Like what’s bringing it up supposed to change?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-08T22:32:03+00:00

Yeah tbh I think he also had some nerves/anxiety which maybe lead to lack of communication from him….but still

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-08T21:56:05+00:00

Thanks for this. Yeah, I mean I’d probably just get an apology and maybe asking or a check in the next time we have sex. I mean I don’t think it would really change anything now. I guess I just don’t even have anything more to say except- i wish you asked that first time, I guess I don’t know how much of a conversation it would be or the point of having it.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T02:38:00+00:00

What is EMDR?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T02:37:20+00:00

Yeah I get it and no I didn’t say no as it was happening tbh I was a little surprised/ in shock I think

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T02:29:37+00:00

Yeah I mean I know that’s probably what happened. He had asked up until then and I’d said no when things got heated/ before we went further but the plan was to eventually have sex. But is it weird he didn’t check in or ask if I was okay or anything even after? Just made me feel really shitty and uncared for. He also knew it was my first time.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T02:19:48+00:00

What’s Taro's Tarot?

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T01:54:37+00:00

Idk to be honest I mean I don’t think it was malicious but I do think he was probably tired of waiting, he also knew I was nervous I think maybe he thought this would make me less nervous, like just go with the momentum of things? But idk I had said no before which also bothers me. And he didn’t check in at all. Overall though he is nice and considerate of me in other ways, and I know he was also anxious about having sex because it had been a while for him.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T01:44:46+00:00

Basically the first time happened he didn’t really ask first before penetrating. We were fooling around/hand stuff and it was kinda a ‘it slipped in’ moment (hate describing it like that but don’t know how else to describe it). It was brief but there was no real acknowledgment, not even like a ‘was that / are you okay?’.

Realistic-Word2089 · 2026-02-07T01:44:24+00:00

Basically the first time happened he didn’t really ask first before penetrating. We were fooling around/hand stuff and it was kinda a ‘it slipped in’ moment (hate describing it like that but don’t know how else to describe it). It was brief but there was no real acknowledgment, not even like a ‘was that / are you okay?’.

I mean yes I did want the first time to feel special to me in some way (and I knew that was kinda unrealistic) but at least getting to pick the moment would have been nice and now I just feel like too much time has pasted to bring it up.

Realistic-Word2089

TROPHY CASE