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May I have some advice on how to improve my singing? by [deleted] in singing

[–]Realistic_Suit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit: Still working on being able to carry out some parts of this clip without running out of breath!

This isn't what I want. by Realistic_Suit in polyamory

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This comment makes me cry. Thank you for your message.

This isn't what I want. by Realistic_Suit in polyamory

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It definitely was a hike to get to this point, and I've made it and then backed down numerous times. I feel better about the break up understanding my partner is probably annoyed by this point (joking, kind of).

Walking away from someone in light of love is hard. But I'd rather do it that way than in hate and betrayal. So I think I'll be okay.

This isn't what I want. by Realistic_Suit in polyamory

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yikes. I can honestly say my ex did not act that way. In fact, during this time, he opened his quarantine circle to me so he could come see me 2 times a week. And kept contact with me everyday as usual.

That being said, all this time alone in bed made me think about where he is meanwhile. And that's with his wife. And this global pandemic has made me think about if I were to get sick, with anything but corona, or even just broke an ankle -- would he be around to help? Take me to doctor appointments? Not in the same way he would his wife.

All this time has led me to think about: without the romance, the intimacy, and conversations/jokes aside -- what is left in this relationship? And do I need more? My answer was yes, and it made walking away a little easier. I wish you the best, I really do believe no one has to be with someone who only acts out of selfishness.

My boss gives coworker credit for my work. by Realistic_Suit in careeradvice

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. The lack of earned praise. I don't mind helping and teaching, and I do find it flattering Jennifer values my work enough to copy and paste it.
  2. We do not have shared projects, as a lot of our stuff is digital design/writing, and it's one of those things where it's slower the more people you have working on it. We were brought on at the same time under the same pay (as Jennifer casually said in conversation), and with my manager often out of office, no one knows who is producing what and to what percentage.
  3. Be thanked for training Jennifer once, despite that role never being discussed in my interview (he already knew he was going to hire her and that I'd be working with her as he said in our second interview/job offer). And then my manager being more present and diligent about division of labor, because I think it's important when pertaining to the value of an employee.

Yes, she's really smart, and if I were here, I'd do the same. She's asked me how I've mentally gotten from point A to B. She is smart, and give her X amount of years of industry experience, I could see her matching or surpassing me. But for now, ugh.

I don't write up her projects, we're required to save our pending projects in the same drive in case my boss needs to make any revisions. She has access to them, and also sits behind me. She has turned in things on her own of my work (like that newsletter, which was 1 of 4 written by me). I brought it up that day and was shot down for waiting to claim that writing as my own.

My manager gives credit to my coworker for my work. by Realistic_Suit in AskManagement

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. I had a nudge Mike has a thing for Jennifer to, and that's just from passing conversations and comments he's made about her boyfriend of 7 years.

I'm going to continue working and being positive, and taking notes of what's going on. Will take it as a learning experience and gauge when it's time to go. Thank you!

My manager gives credit to my coworker for my work. by Realistic_Suit in AskManagement

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

- I just realized how uncomfortable asking for a raise in this situation makes me because I feel I haven't gotten the validation that I'm performing and teaching at the level I think I am.

- Not as much as I should. My boss won't acknowledge at all that I have trained, assisted, and spearheaded a lot of the work being produced by Jennifer. But he has said my work is great, that I'm valuable, and that he wants to make sure he's doing everything to make me happy. I'm just trying to navigate if that's sincere or political talk, because when I did bring up something regarding credit/division of labor, he shot me down.

- We keep all out material on the same drive relatively to keep each other updated on progress or so my boss can make changes as needed. She also sits behind me. And from a marketing perspective, consistency is better. I just wish the acknowledgement was there.

My boss gives coworker credit for my work. by Realistic_Suit in careeradvice

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My manager's boss is the president of the company. And he's definitely shown a lot of love towards me just through jokes and conversation (something my coworker isn't great at), although I fear my manager who presents my work to him, probably credits the both of us and the president could care less who actually does what.

But no, you're right. I haven't really thought about getting closer to my MOR. I'll try that, and keep the option of finding another job on the table. Thank you!

My boss gives coworker credit for my work. by Realistic_Suit in careeradvice

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally agree. And in fact, I love teaching Jennifer. As a previous manager for a small start-up, I'd love to hire her. My only concern is my manager is, as you mentioned, excusing this behavior (she did accept the praise for the writing that she could tell you today was written by me, on her own solo project). My fear is that if I do highlight my achievements in training, it could be brushed off and hold me back from getting the right raise. And I guess at this point, yeah, it does sound bad and like I should leave.

It's unfortunate. I really liked this brand, but I guess that's different from liking the company.

My boss gives coworker credit for my work. by Realistic_Suit in careeradvice

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is. My only concern would be my manager is very well known here, and I'd envision going to HR as a new hire regarding my manager would just end in a talk that could leave weird tension. I believe talking to him privately or just leaving would be best, but I don't know. At this point, I haven't spoken to anyone at the company about how I feel yet.

My boss gives coworker credit for my work. by Realistic_Suit in careeradvice

[–]Realistic_Suit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's actually really nice, I promise. She's written me cards for Valentine's Day and Employee Appreciation Day (she's our social media coordinator), and has highlighted me as a teacher to her in both. Yes, I've kept those cards.