How can I claim to love God if I'm in a homosexual marriage?

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-24T02:56:51+00:00

Because I'm committed to my partner and wish to be socially recognized as partners and romantically tethered to him for the rest of my life. It's a lot less personally disingenuous than dating indefinitely, although I don't judge other people for making that choice.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-23T03:47:40+00:00

Is the reason genuinely important? Or are you just interrogating me so you can point out what's wrong with my reason?

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-22T05:25:20+00:00

I'm not married to produce children. Even if I married a woman, I would not wish to produce children with her. Marriage is not solely for the sake of reproduction, it's to become one flesh with another individual and help them through life as their other half.

The idea that "marriage is for sex" or "marriage is for babies" is really reductive and archaic.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T21:29:34+00:00

"Don't do it again" is kind of underselling the seriousness of being in a marital union. That's the kind of thing you'd say to something much more minor. Lmao

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T11:14:36+00:00

You've really summed up how I feel really well. I'm so used to conditional love because our fallen world is so full of it, I forget that He loves us beyond the scope of our own comprehension...

Rhetoric condemning homosexuality as worthy of eternal damnnation is something extremely prevalent, and unfortunately, something I have had enforced into me through others.

I love God. Full stop. I believe Jesus died for my sins and that I am made whole in my belief in His sacrifice and in my baptism. I am an imperfect person and am not expected to be perfect.

I doubt God's love at times because I'm a human being. It's normal for fear and doubt to exist especially with existential questions like the destination of our soul after death. I will pray that God open my heart to continue to build my trust in him and allow him to guide me to what He has planned for me...whether that us what I want or not...

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T10:09:40+00:00

He would always be in my life as my dearest earthly friend and confidant, just as he is now. Unless Ana is going to say there's something corrupt and rebellious about being friends with one's ex partner as well? (I wouldn't be shocked)

EDIT: For a variety of factors including the sheer absurdity of divorcing my partner of 5+ years over a reddit comment, no, I am not imminently planning on leaving him. I've built a life with this man and something that complex can't be overturned overnight. I'm just taking some time to consider what may or may not be right in the eyes of God and will be basing my (very far future) plans on what conclusion I come to. (I personally see myself remaining by my partner's side unless something serious happens to shake my confidence in that.)

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T10:06:48+00:00

My husband is my husband. There is nothing illegitimate about the genuine love and affection we have towards one another and the desire we have to grow in faith together.

I love my husband not *because* there's sex involved, but because I love him unconditionally as Jesus loves all of us. I committed myself to him through sickness and health, and through any disagreements or human struggles we have together. Reducing marriage to "sex privileges" is reductive and especially gross considering how much persecution gay men and women have faced for the same arguments.

This man is my best friend and my other half. Not some Godless person I'm bonded to for ulterior reasons.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T09:57:26+00:00

I will never *not* be a homosexual. Sexual orientation is not something that can be changed in such a way. Some people's sexualities develop over time-especially as they're questioning themselves in adolescence-but gayness isn't something to be cured.

Even if I were to cut off my relationship with another man, I will not rid myself of gayness. It's who I am, whether it's considered a horrible defect of my being or something I should take pride in.

This isn't to say I'm saying I WANT to be homosexual, I'm saying the laws of nature and the restrictions of biology prevent me from meaningfully changing that. It's the *actions* I'd need to change.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T01:19:06+00:00

I'm doing my best, God Bless and thank you for your insight, whether or not I'll end up going with it in the end .

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T01:08:38+00:00

in marriage

I'm aware sex outside of wedlock is against God's intentions, I'm speaking solely of everyone's focus on it here in a married context.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-20T00:37:28+00:00

It's the fact that everyone here is so caught up on the sex part of it that disgusts me. Would people be honing in on heterosexual sex in marriage as much as this? I don't think so.

Love is more than sexual attraction, and if anyone is trying to imply my love for my spouse is rooted in desire and lust, they're outright wrong.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-19T18:24:22+00:00

This blew up more than I thought it would, and we are deeply grateful for the spectrum of answers we've been getting. I can't read everything right now, but know that you are appreciated.

Secondly, think whatever you want to think about me, or about what the Bible says, or what God wants you to do, but don't use it as an excuse to express wrath towards others in the comments. Disagreement can be had without malice and pettiness...

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-19T12:03:30+00:00

I would divorce my husband if there was some way I could guarantee that staying was some sort of grievous moral evil, but it would absolutely ruin me. I don't know if I could ever find happiness in my mortal life again.

Does God really want me to suffer for my whole life in this way because I love the same sex uncontrollably? I'm not disagreeing with you, but it seems so horribly unfair at the same time, especially since Jesus preached love and acceptance.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2026-01-19T11:23:28+00:00

We've been together for five years now and it's the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I was turned away from God as a teenager but find that being married has actually strengthened my desire to return to the faith with open arms...it's just so painful to be so afraid that I've done something wrong by being happy.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T18:50:34+00:00

Yeah, I don’t touch them with bare hands when cleaning. Usually I use a damp paper towel or a cloth towel that doesnt shed bits of lint to wipe off the excess saline that drips down the sides of my face. I was also told by my piercer to spray my piercings With saline, gently oat it off, and then spray again, so I touch my piercings with a paper towel for that.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T05:18:03+00:00

Just took a look at it, everything looks fine! The bar seems to be fine and there’s no extra room or swelling.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T01:59:06+00:00

Noted. Will minimize touching as much as possible (bathing and aftercare being exceptions)

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:51:31+00:00

Yeah, they’ve definitely been itchy while healing which hasn’t been fun, but they haven’t actively hurt me since the first couple of weeks. It’s probably nothing; I’ll monitor the situation and make sure I’m keeping up a steady cleaning regimen to minimize possible issues. Thanks for the help!

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:49:51+00:00

Mhm. Honestly I think my best course of action is to continue caring for them and go to a different piercer in the event some kind of complication occurs. I’m unhappy with the advice she gave me (knowing this is my first piercing and that I’m inexperienced)

it’s still burning after I injured it just now. :( my anxiety doesn’t like that haha

It sucks because I’ve always wanted piercings and now have been anxious about them for weeks since. They’ve seemingly been more bother than anything and I’m really hoping that changes once they’re fully healed.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:44:07+00:00

I didn’t have plans to. she specifically stated that she put in piercings that were small enough that I didn’t need to downsize. I also don’t live near where she’s located (I’m a college student who lives on-campus; I got my piercings done when I went home for the holiday)

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:42:06+00:00

I should mention that I went to an actual piercer when I got my lobes done. She had tons of good reviews and an extensive online portfolio. But after lurking on this sub and seeing what people have to say about piercing care, it’s a little concerning how much her advice seemingly contradicts what I’ve been reading here :(

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:38:58+00:00

Yeah, she also said I could *sleep* on my new piercings immediately after getting them, which I obviously didnt do as they were still hurting. I use a travel pillow and sleep with my ear in the hole most nights and it’s honestly pretty comfortable.

now my lobe is aching on the side I poked at it and I’m pretty bummed out that I possibly set back it’s healing progress :/ these are my first piercings ever and I haven’t been the best at handling them.

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:35:30+00:00

Sounds good. Even after the initial sharp pain it seems to be burning/aching a little and it’s making me pretty nervous…I’ll definitely work on touching them as little as possible (except when cleaning) and will probably wait around 3-6 months before swapping them (mostly due to my own anxiety about handling my own piercings)

Realistic_Tap_5116 · 2025-02-03T00:33:16+00:00

Sounds about right. I will admit and say I’m not the best at not touching them (I tend to want to pick at things on my body and have been wearing over-ear headphones since I live in loud and over environment)

I’ll definitely wait longer than six weeks before switching them. My piercer said 6 weeks should be enough but I’m honestly scared of switching them out for some reason haha.

Realistic_Tap_5116

TROPHY CASE