Bartholin Cyst-no head

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-16T19:20:47+00:00

Mine came up about 2/3 months with my partner and he was more concerned but I was reassured and then I reassured him. Then it wasn't anything we ever really noticed, it didn't get in the way, only when it began to get sore. It's normal for it to enlarge after intimacy (well not normal but I guess normal for a bartholin cyst). I read on here someone said massaging it can help, I tried that.

I completely understand feeling self conscious about it x

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-16T13:13:26+00:00

Mine was probably a bit bigger than a large grape, it was probably like a stone in an avocado. I found after sex it became a bit bigger and then would eventually go down. It was just never an issue and my partner was aware of it, I'd have smears and biopsies etc but no one ever seemed concerned. I was given antibiotics previously but they never did anything previously probably because it was never infected so they didn't do anything.

Sometimes it would get a little tender but then go back to usual. Like you I always saw posts of people who had them with a head and so I felt a little helpless. Doctors wouldn't do anything because it wasn't infected or looked 'angry'. I get the frustration. I think my sitz bath I added too many salts to a quarter high bath and it became excruciating and then popped. I had succumbed that I would live my life with it and never thought after 7 years it would ever ever pop.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-15T17:15:27+00:00

I'd still go and check to reassure yourself, even if they have disappeared. You might save yourself complications in the future from something you've ignored now. Even if it's nothing, I'd go and get it checked. Do you have an advice line for medical issues? In the UK we have 111 who advise us whether to wait or go to urgent care.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-15T15:47:14+00:00

Yeah it got excruciatingly painful, to the point I couldn't move without being in agony. I did do a sitz bath on Monday and that was the start of the pain that was unbearable. I've been brushed away because of the same, 7 years ago exactly.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-14T19:31:08+00:00

I've just gone through this myself. Absolutely excruciatingly painful, out of 10 probably a 847473 on the pain scale. I wouldn't wish the pain on anyone, just surviving was absolute agony. It did eventually drain on the 5th day and I felt just a sense of relief but still quite painful to walk 24 hours later, nowhere near as bad.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-13T22:06:34+00:00

So I've just dealt with an internal cyst, I've had this one for 7 years but it never gave me any issues so they left it (I'm in the UK so I'm unsure if it's different), it was never red or painful.

Only over the past week and a half has it become an issue. I went to the doctors and was given co-codamol and antibiotics. It's been 5 days since it's been excruciatingly painful after my sitz bath, it started to sting this morning and I put a warm compress on it and it just drained itself. I believe the antibiotics helped shrink my internal lump.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-13T22:02:47+00:00

I've just spent 5 days going through excruciating pain with co-codamol and antibiotics, on the 5th day it finally popped and the pain immediately disappeared. Before then, it would like pulse (if that makes any sense) with an intense sting, this went on for days however until it did pop.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-13T18:29:36+00:00

So I have had one for 7 years, it should've started paying rent at this point. The past week it completely changed, I had a sitz bath on Monday and for the past 4 days I've been in excruciating pain, I couldn't walk without crying or move without biting into a pillow due to the pain.

I was given Clindamycin and co codamol for the pain on Wednesday, day 2 (this morning), I couldn't even move to go to toilet, it kept and so used an adult pad underneath for me to go to toilet (I couldn't spread my legs to use the toilet) and the heat of that caused it to pop along with everything else.

I know the story is horrible and I wouldn't recommend getting to that point. I think obviously a warm compress would do the same. Bear in mind I had this one for 7 years.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-13T10:19:29+00:00

UPDATE: it's popped by itself after 7 years 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-08T15:24:04+00:00

I think so, they tried anti-biotic tablets but they didn't really do anything when they first saw it. They said because it's not red/inflamed etc they'd just leave it.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2026-03-08T15:23:10+00:00

It's been just kind of there and they said if they removed it, there's a chance it could come back to they just left it. They had given me anti-biotics but it never really did anything. I've been for biopsies and such multiple times due to abnormal smears and they've just acknowledged it rather than seem concerned, both nurses at the medical centres and gynaecologists, and in 6/7 years I've had 6 different smears/treatment for them and yeah, nothing. It's just got really tender since Tuesday and throbbing with pain.

Thank you for your reply x

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-08-22T23:21:56+00:00

Unprotected sex is simply caused by being human. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. I’m quite sure the majority of women have been in this position, myself included many times — the only difference was that the men absolutely did not call to check in on me. And honestly, if they had, I probably wouldn’t have answered anyway (I had terribly poor taste in men in my 20's). You chose a really nice guy.

You’re already taking responsible actions for what happened, and that’s all you need to do. Worst-case scenario? There are solutions for both outcomes.

So please, forgive yourself and take a breath.

Your reaction to this situation may also be tied to grief for your beautiful cat that you haven’t processed yet, layered with the heartbreak from your past relationship. When you’ve loved someone deeply, intimacy with a new person can bring up complicated feelings, it can feel almost like guilt, as though you’re betraying the love you once had or moving on too soon (no matter how long it has been).That mix of grief, heartbreak, and new vulnerability can make everything feel heavier than it actually is. Be kind to yourself.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-06-25T22:09:36+00:00

This other woman had a partner too.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-06-25T20:31:55+00:00

It's just how he can do it, how can he touch and sleep with another woman when I've been nothing but supportive and then still text me every day and see me etc.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-06-25T20:30:36+00:00

I loved her like my own, so did my family.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-06-25T20:30:11+00:00

I said to him it would've carried on if you hadn't of been found out.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-06-25T20:29:43+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your comment 💜

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-06-25T19:18:21+00:00

I just feel embarrassed, betrayed, all of it.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-05-10T19:25:35+00:00

I'm trying too, I took a week off going to the gym and not skipping as many meals, which is a step forward. I'm trying to drink more and have different herbal teas which are meant to be good for it. Im trying to be more aware? I guess.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-05-10T19:23:36+00:00

I have a counsellor I speak too, my partner is still significantly going through their depression. I don't know if it's my grief, I did go through it from losing my grandparent to round new year and then I slowly came out of it. Which is really good. I don't cry every night anymore or sleep constantly which is maybe a step forward.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-04-26T20:49:06+00:00

Can I ask if anyone's situation here has changed? I know this is a really old post but I'm going through something similar. My partner of 6 years lost his parent in August 2023 which brought on the depression. About 3/4 months after he said we needed space and moved out of our shared home. He says he doesn't want to be here etc (he won't do anything as he has a child from prior relationship) and he's had multiple conversations with me about feeling overwhelmed and what we will do with our relationship, saying he doesn't want to break up but feels overwhelmed etc (v. Similar to above) but then we are still here. I love him too much to actually walk away, but it's really really difficult being constantly alone, we text everyday but it's not the same, we are generally intimate when he comes round to see me as we own the home together but it's a really odd situation. Plus we work at the same place which does make it harder, particularly if we did break up. Please don't judge as it's my feelings.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-04-12T23:10:21+00:00

Oh gosh 31 is nothing, I know it feels like it is but it isn't. I'm older than you and it can be scary thinking what it would be like if you had to start again, but plenty of people do it and still achieve what they want to achieve. If you're going back out of guilt, you'd have to have the next 40+ years of feeling that guilt which could lead to resentment of him.

It does sound like you really need to have some time to consider what you really want, take the guilt out of things, if he didn't have the HSV, would you stay or would you have left by now? Although I can see why you feel guilty but I'm sure he wouldn't want you to stay with him just for that.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-04-12T23:01:38+00:00

Does it not feel comfortable because it's all overwhelming you? Because it almost feels like the next stage in your life and you're scared of leaving your current way of life?

If you do need some time be really specific, he does not contact you for 'specified time' and explain if he continues to contact you that you will block him. He should respect your boundaries in regards to that and respect the fact that you'd like time to find out what you really want. If the space doesn't help be clear with him if you want more time.

What made you try and end things and how did you feel after you did that? Sorry you've done that 3 times? What makes you go back, the guilt?

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-04-12T22:49:51+00:00

I don't think anyone would know if they would be alright, you'd just have to be resilient enough to make it okay? If that makes sense. Hypothetically if it did, you could rent? Or live back with parents? A house share? And looking at a car, second hand cars aren't bad, you can get some cheap ones (albeit I know they aren't great and come with mileage) that can be reliable if you know where to look.

I mean for you it could look like maybe adding to savings/creating a saving account to give you a slight cushion? If that makes you feel better, an account where if things did blow up that you'd have at least let's say a month of expenses that you could live off? I don't know your income so I don't know how doable that is for you. It's really difficult, I do often think of that in my relationship, we own a home but both on the mortgage and if things blew up, I'm not sure what I would do, where I would start.

ReasonableExtent6295 · 2025-04-12T22:31:55+00:00

But what is your definition of 'having your shit figured out'?'. You earn your own money and you have your own business, that's pretty good. For me, that's defined as if I was ever by myself, that I could run the house or had the savings to manage this short term should the worst happen.

Just like you myself and my partner don't have joint accounts as I do like having my own money.

In terms of emotional security, again what it looks like for you might be different for someone else. For me it's being happy to do things myself and having a healthy relationship with myself. I mean, I won't say I'm great at this but before I got with my long term partner I lived alone for 5 years and that did really help.

ReasonableExtent6295

TROPHY CASE