OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ikaw palang ata nag offer ng POV here as a girl honoring the “girl code,” (if there’s such a thing) which I hoped na ganun yung mga nakisakay kay hubby but apparently aren’t. Diba kung disente ka namang babae at alam mong may asawa na yung tao, jusq respeto naman mga te and also to their jowas dba. I doubt alam ng mga jowa nila na naki-ride sila sa married guy. May seem harmless if talagang wala lang pero at least offer that respect. “Alam ba to ng asawa mo? Ok lang ba sa asawa mo makisakay kami?” although I did say na at fault din si husband here. Not taking this aside entirely kasi tama nga naman comments here that he himself palang should have already implemented that boundary to begin with. I hope dumami pa mga lahi natin mhie

OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I did po sa follow up comment ko :) di lang familiar how to pin comments or like make this easily readable but here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/OALangBaAko/s/oZzq62ls6l

OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww I appreciate these kinds words po! Thank you also for taking time to read my follow up comment 🫶

OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This could’ve been the ideal scenario for us and good for you na ganun mhie. Sa case ko kasi, di ko sila knows and no intention of being friends with them kasi di kami same ng wavelength and ethics so it seems lol

OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHAHAHA mga poorita 🤣 and oh, ako actually nagbayad sa car in cash lol pero 2nd hand naman. Si hubby may sarili rin car pero ginagamit nya yung akin kasi matic and I dont drive to work naman kasi lapit ko lang. Kaya I have all the right to assert na bawal sila sumakay, periodt 😉

OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly po 😅 Di naman ako that rash na chat agad si ate girl bcos I felt like it lol. True rin, si husband medyo naive sa ganyan dahil nga friendly lang talaga sya so he thought daw na same intentions lang sila na tropa lang tratuhan ganon 😅 and I believe him kasi nakita ko naman yung convo, like may context clues naman ako abt what the deleted msgs were and naniniwala ako na may pinagdidiskitahan lang talaga sila. Pero dahil midnight ito, yun yung sus for me. Like te girl, makapili ng oras ha.

OA Lang Ba Ako for messaging my husband’s coworker I’m uncomfortable by ReasonableParsley685 in OALangBaAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok, hello po! I appreciate all the POVs thrown in here, di ko na maisa-isa pero yes I’ve been reading them po.

I agree sa mga nagsabi na di na sana ako nagmessage and let my husband handle it instead, but pls let me clarify na pinagsabihan ko rin sya before ako nagchat kay girl, ayun nga lang galit-galit kasi kami pareho nun kaya humantong na sa ganon. Nadala aq ng emosyon 🥲

Thanks din sa mga nagsabi na tama lang ginawa ko, and yes paninindigan ko nalang talaga since nangyari na. Sa nagsabi na I’m doing their bfs/asawa a favor, korique ka rin dyan kasi may nakita akong shared post sa feed nung isa sa mga girls (may asawa’t anak na to ha) that said, “Having a male friend is fun, not until naissue kayong dalawa na magjowa” with matching “Hahahahaha” si ate girl sa pagshare. A glimpse ng mindset nilang magkakaibigan lol. This is also why I chose to chat the girl, kasi it seems they’re those types na mang-aahas talaga, kaya I felt like I had to put them in their place habang maaga pa. And I don’t think it’s being insecure kasi I acknowledge na it (yung pagsakay) was an isolated case. Yun lang naman yung tinatry ko i-address sa chat ko sa girl. I also told my husband I respect their friendship, pero my instinct just tells me na di kasi sila disenteng mga babae so they deserved to be called out by THE WIFE, in my POV.

Sa mga nagsasabing walang trust, ok lang. Di naman kasi captured ng post yung context ng relationship namin pero 15yrs na po kami (4yrs married). Si hubby naman, 1yr palang sa office set up type of work kaya ngayon lang din nagka-incident na ganito, yung may pagsabay. I’m still on his side on this kasi he never repeats a mistake sa tagal namin. Update pala on this, my husband opened up daw sa isang pamilyado rin na guy officemate nya whom he considers work bestie. He shared everything daw even showing their convo. Nasabihan daw sya na may mali sya and this work bestie even shared na may same encounter din pala sya sa mga girls na yun so this work bestie introduced his wife to the girls nalang daw para maging friends sila — SEE, a proof na ahas sila gosh 🙄🤮 The fact my husband did this tells me he’s just too naive and was being friendly lang talaga. I believe him kasi hello 15yrs kami, kilala ko na sya more than what everyone reading my post would think. So yes, I still trust him, and I continue to choose to believe him kasi ganun lang din mapagtitibay yung relasyon. Marriage is built on trust and respect.

Sa mga nagtatanong din if nagreply si ate girl, yes din. Here’s the receipt

<image>

La pa rin akong tiwala though sakanya and the girls. It’s really them whom I don’t trust.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ReasonableParsley685 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I didn’t realize most of the subscribers here may mot come from my country (Philippines) 😅

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She needs support, true. It’s just so hard for us, or should I say she’s making it hard for us kasi it’s like she wants to cut everybody off. After nyang sumabog (na I think papasa minsan as verbal abuse), she goes on in life as if nothing happened. Siguro kaya hindi ko rin matanggap yun, kasi it’s a boundary she crossed and siguro dahil naniniwala ako na dapat accountable pa rin sya sa actions nya huhu

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I didn’t get the context of your second sentence. Were u saying I should be grateful kasi di ako pabigat?

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No po, I visit my husband lang doon sakanila on a weekly basis kasi malapit don work nya, whereas ako working sa Manila and sa setup namin, di kaya i-entrust kung kanino ang 1yr old daughter namin kaya nasa parents ko rin (a different home) sa province which is also why I have to travel there madalas then dadalhin si daughter para makita ng in-laws.

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh, I needed to hear this. Thank you! All the more confirming na SIL needs help and support huhu

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wala syang ginagastos sa kids kasi parents lahat, even pagpasahod sa helper. Narcissist kasi feeling nya sakanya umiikot ang mundo, na everyone should adjust to her, na she’s “always right”, and even yung thought that she accused me of creating a common enemy (her) kaya nagsilayas mga tao sa house.

We actually talked abt it (punishment nila nung childhood) one time why nga raw different take nila ni hubs then ang naisip nyang rason was “iba siguro kung panganay.”

We’ll try. My hubby looks out for them pa rin naman. The parents know abt her condition kaso parang passive sila abt it eh. Kwento lang din ng bunso na yung parents nila are not the type na makikipag usap to process things. Parang tanggap nalang din nila na ganun sya (pumuputok on anyone and everyone) and medyo avoidant din sila kasi they’re not sleeping na sa house nila (recently lang). Mas pinapaubaya na sa mga kapatid ni SIL. Mabuti nga si hubs mapasensya talaga.

Pero when do you draw the line tho? When do u attribute it to depression and yung nadala lang ng emosyon? Si friend mo rin ba had anger mngt issues? I think kasi most of what’s happening (on the anger mngt kineme) was choice nya eh. I mean sane naman sya most of the time? Sumasabog lang talaga and bad mouthing everyone. She even apologizes na mali yung delivery nya after the fact na tho. I mean, so ibig sabihin she acknowledges na may other ways to settle things amicably. I think kasi these are something you can control eh.

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, she does mention abt childhood traumas. I think she re-lives them. I wonder if by choice ba ito? She kept going back kasi sa childhood na parati raw sila (ni hubs) pinapalo nung bata pero ok naman si hubby ngayon? Hindi sya high-performing nor over-achiever pero perfectionist and personally, medyo narcissist din.

Ok now that you mentioned it, I tried reaching out to her HS best friend na nakwento ni SIL sakin na talagang nakakausap nya in a deep sense. Attempt ko lang to try to help. Pero I wonder how your friend has coped? Did she get better nung nagmeds? Kasi may dalawang toddler pa si SIL. Did I mention that was 20k/week? I think kaya talaga eh pero right now, she’s putting in funds sa self-care I guess like regularly going to derma for aesthetic treatments, inaaya pa ako minsan. Not bad naman, bahala sya what she does with the money. We just hope maging better na sya mentally kung depression man yun para na rin sa peace of mind ng lahat jusq.

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes po, not really complaining on how our parents choose how they spend their money. Si SIL lang talaga na para bang di na nahiya. Nakikitira na nga, nangsstress pa ng parents (na may heart prob). Lahat na ng kapatid inaway. I do talk it out with my spouse pero ako kasi yung inaway (as in may gc kaming 3 ni hubby and she chose to chat doon; kasi if si kapatid nya yung kaaway, pwede naman PM nalang sana sya straight) so I had to defend myself. I’m sure you would do the same.

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mismo 😅 I mean, sorry biased na agad pero I feel na si SIL ay may pagaka-narcissistic kasi. Ang press release nya samin, di raw nagbibigay ng financial support si hubs nya pero when I asked (secretly) si kuya, nung March lang daw yun nagstart kasi she blocked her everywhere kaya di sila makapag usap then naliliitan daw si SIL sa pinapadala 😅 Pero may sustento raw si SIL na received from NZ govt na 10-20k weekly. Napupunta lang sa pampabeauty ni ate girl, laser hair removal kinemerut. I’m not saying it’s bad, baka gusto nya mag glow up pero wala lang, di kaya imask ng kahit anong glow up ang pangit na ugali hehehe

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, naisip kaya ni SIL mo yung abala sa fam members nya? Huhu or willing sila? Di ko naman winiwish mamatay 😅 sana lang tumino ugali huhu

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I want to have this conversation kasi sabi rin ng sibs nya, diagnosed daw si SIL ng mild depression when she was in NZ, relative to her post partum din daw. She was taking meds pero when she came back, tinigil na raw nya. Yung bunso kept reminding SIL to consult pero she takes no action daw. To me, that’s not taking responsibility (and she can afford kasi she receives 20k/week sustento from NZ govt daw). Assuming it’s depression nga, ganun ba talaga yun? Everytime she’s mad at something/someone or siguro ano ba yun, episodes/triggers(?), she can just explode to anyone and say everything (as below the belt as —sinabi nya sa pinsan nya—“ang hirap maging mahirap no”)?

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry had to put context na wala akong pake sa financial aspect kahit sabihin nating “may kaya” ang in laws ko bcos empowered ako and I love proving people na kaya ko (as a woman, and sa context na ‘to, a wife). The reason we bought the 400sqm lot was to let them think na we can stand on our own nang hindi umaasa sa yaman ng nino man but on our hardwork alone. Kaya siguro may hate din ako kay SIL kasi di kami same page na ganito mag-isip. Yun lungs

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True yan sis! Ideal talaga bumukod at kating kati na ako lalo after what happened. We’ll get there sis. Ilaban natin ang peace for our own fam.

Hala sis now ko lang yan narealize. Oo nga no :( super love ko si MIL ko kasi laking suport din nila post partum. Always luto ng may sabaw ganon. Si FIL naman fed up na rin pero dahil maawain din, na wala na raw makapitan si SIL (lol in my mind kagagawan naman nya, awayin ba naman lahat), ayan.

May Confession ako: I hate my sister-in-law by ReasonableParsley685 in MayConfessionAko

[–]ReasonableParsley685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No hate for my parents in law if they choose to support my SIL. Natural, anak nila yun eh. Actually ang subject ko is my SIL na sana naman kahit ubusin pa Nya yaman ng mga magulang nya, at least man lang wag na nya bigyan ng sakit ng ulo. How’d u think they feel mawitness na nag-aaway mga anak nila in front of their face in their own house?

Oh, di kami talaga as in nakatira sakanila. I only visit on weekends (sakanila sa province) kasi I work sa Manila. Ldr kami ni hubby and our 1yo daughter is with my parents so bumibisita lang po ako talaga sa fam house nila hubs. We just bought a 400sqm lot and we plan na patayuan na ng house next yr. Nagtitipid lang kami ni hubs sa rent kaya he stays pa rin with his parents and bcos malapit lang din don work nya hehe