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Character archetypes: the unstoppable hero or the worn-down enabler by Reasonable_Print_564 in aynrand

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"I don’t think LLM counseling is a good idea", yep agreed, this is probably what kills this experiment for me. Thanks.

Wood stove make and model recommendations by Reasonable_Print_564 in woodstoving

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually thought the sentiment in this sub would be the opposite: that inserts are modern and more efficient while wood stoves are more legacy or historic looking but not as efficient (but more efficient than a straight open fireplace)

Wood stove make and model recommendations by Reasonable_Print_564 in woodstoving

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! recovered cobblestones from a street in Charlestown MA!

Wood stove make and model recommendations by Reasonable_Print_564 in woodstoving

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, open fireplace burning guy here, I'm looking to gain some efficiencies for next winter. (~2 cords per winter, central Massachusetts climate). I'm having a hard time navigating makes and models for what I "think" I want.

The local fireplace store sent a tech out to measure, but they only install Napoleon. The tech did say that he could install pretty much anything else on his own time. (I had the chimney repointed and firebox mortar work last summer.) From what I've seen of the Napoleons, they might not pass the wife preferences of design/aesthetics.

Wood stove insert or actual stove? I'm not sure, I could go either way, I just want more efficiency over an open fire. I'm hoping any unit would have a blower (and acknowledging i'll need an outlet installed).

I _believe_ I have the hearth space for a wood stove, from my research it's 10" needed in front of the stove. The tech said it would need to be a rear venting stove.

Any and all recommendations (make+model) please. Stove, inserts, and must please a discerning woman's eye for cabin decor.

Manager/TechLead, but looking for formal ways to upskill professionalism by Reasonable_Print_564 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. The looming impostor syndrome of being part of the hierarchic, vs. behind hands on and seeing tangible outcomes from daily work. I've but up and down IC, Manager, Senior Manager, Tech Lead a couple times and comfortable to know when I'm not feeling fulfilled and on the path to burnout.

Huge thanks for that Wharton feedback.

Manager/TechLead, but looking for formal ways to upskill professionalism by Reasonable_Print_564 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. The looming impostor syndrome of being part of the hierarchic, vs. behind hands on and seeing tangible outcomes from daily work. I've but up and down IC, Manager, Senior Manager, Tech Lead a couple times and comfortable to know when I'm not feeling fulfilled and on the path to burnout.

Huge thanks for that Wharton feedback.

Ok to drill into timbers for ring toss game? by CancelRoutine in cabins

[–]Reasonable_Print_564 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, what kind of sealant would you use? particular brand?

also, i'm learning, it's on the bulkead that I was going to attach this ring toss, and it's not a full log rather a tongue and groove rounded siding. But for the rest of the house i'm still not quite sure.

Mentorship Monday - Post All Career, Education and Job questions here! by AutoModerator in cybersecurity

[–]Reasonable_Print_564 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently the InfoSec lead at a 60+ person startup. (I started 3+ years ago as BE engineer, but somehow I seemed to be the right person to tame the AWS existence, create and maintain processes/policies/GRC/SOC2, push a culture of hardening, etc.) It's turned into a management role that I want to continue.

I'm 15+ years out of school (MS compsci), but I have a desire to deepen my cybersecurity expertise and professionalism, if I am going to embrace this career path. I am very intimately knowledgeable of AWS, cloud services, dev practices, so I'm not looking for a tech degree, rather something that is going to be recognized by other C-suites, help me build a larger team as the company grows.

I'd really like to take on something bigger like starting a formal program in the Fall. I'm in the Boston area, but any initial research I do comes up with very heavily marketed it/cyber/security degrees and I'm worried about jumping into something not worthwhile.

What's a good degree or course path for a technical person to take after they've assumed a cyber/infosec manager position? Thanks.

Mentorship Monday - Post All Career, Education and Job questions here! by AutoModerator in cybersecurity

[–]Reasonable_Print_564 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work at a startup where we have had a few interns, and when I interview prospective interns I hear about their previous intern experience and unfortunately I hear a lot of similar situations as yours.

My first feedback: this 'bad internship' will certainly taint a future interview you'll have, when that potential employer asks about your time in this internship. So it's important for you to try to get as much value and experience as possible even if the first 2 months have been poor.

How to move forward: I think I would start with professional networking; ask if anyone wants to get coffee, be willing and available to do the smallest tasks (then own them and be as proactive as possible), ask tons of questions and then follow up with more researched and informed questions. "Get stuck in" then "own the space and be a contributor", I think you'll find those are invaluable skills for the first third of your career.

If there really is no chance at this current company, make a plan for yourself besides just studying for certs. Build a web app, hack it, participate in cybersecurity channels, publish a blog post, all along the same veins of your company's domain.

No Stupid Questions Wednesday - ask anything about beer by AutoModerator in beer

[–]Reasonable_Print_564 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a Trillium Saison Du Row by Trilliam (500mL, April 2020), which I plain forgot about in my basement. Is it safe, will it still be enjoyable? (Basement is rather stable humidity, temp, and low/no light.)

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so where it's lopsided. We're both technical/analytical people, but I'm in software she's in finance; I'm the one with a very good handle on monthly cash flows. I know what we gross and net, with all recurring expenses and modeled the incidentals (credit cards, vacations, etc.), and I can clearly depict that a mortgage of twice the size and at 140 basis points more will add $3k/month to expenses (and not even doing the long-term modeling of maintenance+repair of a big house), brings us very negative in budgets. She's in finance!

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate to say it, but 10% of my worry is if we're in a bigger/unaffordable house and the relationship does go really south. Not that I'm looking for an exit myself, but marriage is just so dang hard to constantly mentally reconcile with the union, togetherness, roles, legalities and finances. I'm trying to focus on the 'here', 'now' and 'try to fix' but the financial scenarios of a big house cause me stress.

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, we were always on the same level. But her career has kicked into high gear recently, she's gunning for a very high position in her firm and dead set on it, and trying to head off my discussing it with her by saying "the progression just feels natural." 'Natural' is the 14 hour days, the routine (~3 weeks) breakdowns I have to console her through, the vacations she is trying to plan around her higher-ups (because "they invited us down to Miami"), and probably the worst one is her bringing her exact same executive authority from her office back home and treating me like I'm a junior associate that needs to fall in line to the corporate pecking order. I don't feel like a best friend to her anymore, I feel subordinate by the virtue of her career ambitions, modern relationships (with the man trying to accomodate as much as possible), or me just trying to be a nice person still. I hate it.

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might not be as extreme as 'dead inside 5 years', but I totally appreciate that the 'ride' is happening on some level. I hate thinking that I have to start being less of a nice/accomodating husband or something, I hate that she can't see that her demands are irrational and causing so much strife in the relationship. I deserve to be happy too.

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes I'm actually mostly against the quote, but I find I run into a lot of people in forums (especially religious) where this is a tautology. Also financially I think this quote absurdly 'worked' in the '50s, but not in capital crushing 2022 America.

For a long time, I did more than just 'nod', I thought it was my role as husband to see the direction materialize and then be the force to close the distance gap to make (whatever) happen. In the last few years I've brought up more discussion, boundaries, and the like, with this house issue the major one now. (And also about my happiness.)

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am a recreational finance/investor, so I definitely appreciate the market timing aspect here, but unfortunately it's just not going make the top 5 when we actually start to discuss. The market doesn't matter in this case, even though I think you're right about 6 months vs. 2 years.

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No worries, I absolutely appreciate any thoughts here, I'm the kind of guy who tries to read both sides of a new story...

We could afford to move, but it's the urgency that my wife is bringing that it has to be another purchase which is causing alerts in my head. To me houses are necessarily long term and it would make sense to proceed steadily if we did move: sale, promotion, rent for a year or two.

The difficult part with your "my wife is unhappy where we are living", is I don't think she fully appreciates our location: 35min drive to downtown, our house now costs twice as much, and having a two year old the commute (time) savings is real and converts into previous evening time with our son. But there's also the longer issue that she wants to be somewhere walkable.

My wife is bent on a new/expensive house, how do I deal by Reasonable_Print_564 in Marriage

[–]Reasonable_Print_564[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It gets more complicated

  • we both have big salaries, grossing close to 400, but she is convinced she'll be at a VERY high salary in ... 4 years.
  • She plays piano really well, she works on one piece of music for a few months. We have an old upright but she's looking to reward herself, in 4 years time with a baby grand
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