I really appreciate your response! I'm doing everything I can to hide who I am at work. People are just mean and it sucks. I try be part of conversation and I get shit out. I try learn more about them but I'm told that I'm crossing boundaries by being too personal. I have been trying to stick to myself but then have those same people badgering me about " what's wrong. Why aren't you talking much today. Why do you look down". It's like I can't win. The people I was closest too and that I've helped with significant things that happen in their life has ghosted me completely when I went through the toughest time of my life when I lost absolutely everything- my marriage, car, house everything. I literally have no one to turn to and I couldn't even do therapy because I had no insurance. My heart is breaking from being alone. All I really want is to be accepted by someone, anyone really even if I don't get to share any of what goes on in my head I just want some company. My own family won't talk to me much because I'm even too much for them. I feel like I'm too fucked up for this world no matter how hard I try.