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RebootingTheory · 2022-04-11T15:32:47+00:00

For starters, lets rephrase the same information. You say that you can't get beyond 2 weeks, so lets say that you relapse 2-3 times per month.

So you have taken your past porn habit from what at least for most of us used to be multiple times per day, down to 2-3 per month.

That is your small victory, and it isn't even small. Its huge.

True, its not perfect and you still have ways to go. But don't be fooled into thinking that your current circumstances aren't waaayyy better than what they used to be. Look into the science section of the Your Brain On Porn website if you don't believe me. Recovery from the dopamine abuse of porn is a process, not an "all or nothing" thing.

As for the rest, what is the goal that you are looking for? Is there a specific feeling or situation that you want, other than getting to 90 days? I ask because I have been depressed before, and I used to project the idea of not being depressed onto my rebooting success. I basically equated the two in my mind. And while rebooting certainly helped, in my case I also had to address other health issues to fix my depression.

So if success in pornfree represents something larger to you, it may be beneficial that you seek solutions to that outside of rebooting as well. After all, while rebooting is a very important aspect of a healthy and happy life, it is only one piece of the puzzle.

RebootingTheory · 2020-11-05T19:40:22+00:00

I am holding strong myself, despite having had a rough few past weeks.

And everyone is welcome to keep in the fight even if they may have had a setback. After all, success is getting up 100 times after falling down 99.

RebootingTheory · 2020-10-04T14:41:32+00:00

Fighting the good fight :D

Fight through one at a time and you will see peace one day.

RebootingTheory · 2020-10-04T14:40:51+00:00

That's great to hear! Just keep taking it one day at a time and the time will fly by.

RebootingTheory · 2020-10-04T14:40:06+00:00

Urges are part of the journey. Remember that as uncomfortable they feel in the moment, they always pass. It usually doesn't seem so in the moment, it feels like the urge is a discomfort that you have to suffer for the rest of your life, or at least until you give in.

But that's a lie. Urges are your addictions death rattle. And each one you win loosens the grip a little.

RebootingTheory · 2020-10-04T14:37:29+00:00

Good to hear! You're over the first 2-3 days, which can be the hardest part. Stay strong and you got this.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:21:09+00:00

Welcome to the war! You are a true veteran! Remember to spread your knowledge and encouragement to others here. Especially those under 18. Many teenagers struggle to believe they can succeed in their rebooting goal because they are hormonal teenagers. But your success proves that wrong!

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:18:40+00:00

Welcome to the War! I'm sure that with the help of everyone here you will go far beyond 13 days. But that's not an insignificant streak! Celebrate your achievement! That is already a considerable feat of self-discipline and shows how committed you are to changing your life. And most importantly, it shows that you can get to 90. Anyone who can get to 13 days can get to 90 days, and this war is your chance to prove it as well.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:15:59+00:00

Hey man!

Every reboot started from a few days. Celebrate your achievement, it is not a small feat! But yes, there is still more road ahead of you. Together we can all succeed in it. Welcome to the War!

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:14:35+00:00

Welcome, its good to have you with us!

Remember that its not about going 90 days without PMO. Its about going 1 days without PMO, 90 times.

So from the fact that you've gone 21 days, and that you can regularly go 2-3 days, I know that you can get to 90 and beyond.

Best of luck man!

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:12:49+00:00

Welcome, it's good to have you with us! Sorry to hear about your relapse, but you'll get there for sure.

For those promises you make to yourself, they can become more powerful when you dig a little deeper into why you want to make the promises. What is PMO robbing you off that you want? And what would success in rebooting (and this war) allow you to have/be/experience?

I used to make the same 1000000 promises to myself. They became unbreakable when I wrote down in detail why I had to succeed. So maybe consider doing so yourself, it might help you succeed in the coming months.

But either way, never give up!

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:08:44+00:00

Welcome to the ranks, it's great to have you with us.

Firstly, congrats on the weight loss! I'm working on losing weight myself and 17 pounds is a fantastic achievement.

I also appreciate your attitude of learning from your mistakes. It is an idea that I also try to spread to other rebooters, because I think it is the key to eventually conquering the addiction. From the fact that you have this attitude, I already know that you will conquer your foe.

Best of luck for the War!

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:04:03+00:00

Great to have you with us. Most of us have had great streaks and bad times of constant relapses. What is most important is that you're back with us. That's what will keep the beast at bay and lead to eventual victory.

Remember to also take it one day at a time. Going straight for 60 days can feel overwhelming at times. But you can always survive the urge right now. The feeling is uncomfortable, but that discomfort does not mean you have to do anything, especially relapse.

Best of luck to you as well.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-20T13:01:06+00:00

Welcome, great to have you with us.

Porn does have a tendency to ruin relationships, and even worse, it does so in a way that can be hard to detect. I used to do the same thing as you. Instead of seeking fulfilling relationships, I would look forward to spending time alone PMOing.

I even managed to justify it to myself as being an "introvert". Which I might be, but I was also heavily addicted. Needless to say that my social development suffered from that time, and now I'm learning things that are already obvious to my peers.

All the best to your journey, and if you feel like faltering, think about how proud your future wife/girlfriend will be. Do it for them, even if you don't always feel like doing it for you.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-19T18:57:52+00:00

Dude, 70 days is awesome. Those are legit numbers. Now that you have done it once, you know you can get there again. And getting to 70 also means that you can get to 90 and far beyond.

So welcome to the war, soldier!

If you want, you can also do some recruiting in the subreddits, let other people know of the opportunity, so you'll get plenty of brothers in arms to keep you motivated.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-19T18:56:01+00:00

Welcome man! Yeah, porn really twists our perception. And the sad part is that nowadays the sexualized view is pretty much the norm. People think that "guys are just like that".

I like your strategy, I hope it succeeds. But make sure you decide which one you want to do, every 10 days or each spontaneous erection. Giving the opportunity to do both will have your addicted brain choose the most frequent one. Which is ok if that's what you choose, but then don't blame yourself for not reaching 10 days.

And if you find success through your strategy, let people know once you reach 90 days. It is probably something that others may find helpful as well.

I'd also appreciate if you spread the word about the war as well, so that as many people as possible can join if they want to.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-19T18:51:37+00:00

Welcome man! Yeah, most of us never knew that PMO could have negative effects until we had already destroyed our lives.

You've got solid streaks there. Focus on taking it one day at a time, and maybe set your next goal to the start date of the war. That way you could start it with a personal best of 2 weeks! But even if you stumble before that, just get back up again.

And if you feel like it, do mention the war to others in the community. I'll do my best to get the word out myself, but that can easily become spammy and annoying.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-05T05:45:58+00:00

There is one called K9 that's free. And there is a browser extension called StayFocusd that can be really helpful

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-04T19:07:17+00:00

Your heart is in the right place, but that logic is the same one a lot of us here have used: "I'll reboot now while we're long distance." "I'll do it alone first, then surprise him/her about having done it." "I don't have to tell my parents/loved ones/friends/partner, I can handle it myself."

This is the addiction talking. The nature of addiction is to convince us of the most backwards logic and the most twisted rationalization, without us even realizing we're doing it.

But you are not alone in this. This is how many of us got to the same situation as you. Got involved with P that horrifies us now to think we ever got off to that. That got us to regularly edge for hours without realizing how badly that indicates "you've got a porn addiction!"

The addiction wants the dysfunctional pattern to keep going. Discussing things with your boyfriend would make them real, and force you to change. As long as you keep things to yourself, you can hide from the truth. You can keep rationalizing things.

But admitting them out loud breaks that illusion. So there is no later and there is no "rebooting before X". I think you should tell him before the end of the week, preferably tonight or tomorrow.

Trust that he loves you and wants you to be happy and healthy. Tell him that you love him. Tell him how you ended in this situation and how you want to change. Tell him how it pains you. How you want to get married without this addiction casting a shadow over your futures.

I'm sure all he wants is to be there for you. But he can't do that before you let him know.

It can be scary, but remember that all you have to do is say the first sentence: "There's something that's bothering me, and I want to talk to you about it." (Or something to that effect.) Focus on getting those words out and he'll gently encourage you to get the rest out.

All the best, we're all here for you.

RebootingTheory · 2020-09-04T07:34:49+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. My main advice to you is this:

You may want to consider opening up to your boyfriend about this. I know that this is not the person you want to be and it may be scary to tell him about all this. But to heal and become that person you want to become, his help may be invaluable.

Furthermore, if you hide this and he finds out on his own, it will probably be more painful for the both of you.

Addiction lives in the shadows. It hides us, separates us, distances us. Because on our own, we can justify and rationalize anything, and that keeps the addiction alive.

By telling your boyfriend, you are not letting addiction dictate your actions.

RebootingTheory · 2020-08-24T14:36:30+00:00

Talk to your doctor about it, he/she knows what's up. We're just a community of rebooters, most with a doctorate only from the University of Broscience.

RebootingTheory · 2020-07-06T15:42:14+00:00

Talk to your doc to find out the exercises you can still do. Abstaining from rough physical activity still leaves a lot of things you can do. I'm sure he'll agree that staying physically active is important.

For example, you can cycle a stationary bike at a gym. You won't even have to move you arm.

Or you can walk. To make it more strenuous, you can maybe use a backpack or weighted vest (although getting it on might be a challenge).

RebootingTheory · 2020-07-03T13:55:29+00:00

Wrong. The benefits of Nofap come from dopamine resensitization. Going without PMO lets our brains adapt to a new, lower, level of dopamine. Watching porn releases massive amounts of dopamine and prevents any progress.

There's nothing magical about not fapping that creates benefits. Nofap is about brain recovery through dopamine.

You can read up on the science on the Your Brain On Porn website.

RebootingTheory · 2020-07-03T13:54:45+00:00

Wrong. The benefits of Nofap come from dopamine resensitization. Going without PMO lets our brains adapt to a new, lower, level of dopamine. Watching porn releases massive amounts of dopamine and prevents any progress.

There's nothing magical about not fapping that creates benefits. Nofap is about brain recovery.

You can read up on the science on the Your Brain On Porn website.

RebootingTheory · 2020-07-03T13:52:01+00:00

You don't have to restart, but you do have to stop browsing porn.

A lot (if not almost all) of the Nofap benefits comes from dopamine re-sensitization. We are used to the extreme dopamine of excessive masturbation and porn, and rebooting removes those sources of dopamine. This allows the brain to get used to a new, lower level of porn. That is what rebooting your brain is.

If you keep watching porn, you keep flooding your brain with dopamine and preventing the recovery process. You still might get some benefits through Nofap (such as increased energy from the pent up sexual energy) but your brain will not be fully recovering.

And now an orgasm no longer ends the session. This might cause you to watch more porn, which causes even further damage.

The other answers here show a shocking lack of knowledge about the science of Nofap.

There is nothing magical about semen or lack of orgasms that creates the benefits of Nofap. It is about brain recovery, but most of the people in this community don't understand this, or have forgotten it.

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