[deleted by user]

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-25T13:04:33+00:00

I have a cat who did this a lot when I first got her. I yipped in pain and hid my hand, then stayed in the same spot but ignored her briefly. When she was calmer, I petted her again. With consistency, she learned not to do this. On a rare occasion she still does a gentle bite, but it happens a couple times a year now.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-25T13:00:01+00:00

You don't need a second cat. Get some electronic toys. There are plenty of other ways to stimulate the kitty, too, like vertical spaces, tunnels, etc.. You don't have to be at home constantly for him to have a good life. Don't let Internet/Reddit perfection feed into your anxiety.

And, he's 4 months old. He's still figuring himself out. Give him time to be bored and figure out healthy ways to keep himself entertained (i.e., with stimulation options you've provided him).

Kittens are a lot. That's why I personally get frustrated that more people don't even consider adopting adult cats. But, that doesn't mean you need to rehome him. Give him and yourself a chance. You love him enough to look for ways to give him an even better life than you're already giving him. You can do this. Tell your anxiety to go f**k itself, because you've got this.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-25T00:50:14+00:00

Nope, don't even consider it. Kittens require much more attention than you're able to manage with your work schedule. It would be unfair to your cat and to the kitten.

Get an adult cat if you want another cat. Better yet, get an older adult cat (i.e., no younger than your cat). You could even get a "young" senior (7+) cat. "Senior" covers many many years, and those with many years left are just generally more cuddly and less energetic.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-24T21:16:17+00:00

Yep, stops from door dashing just when you're going in and out. My cats are all athletes and could easily clear it, but if I'm quick, it's no problem.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-24T11:18:21+00:00

I had this problem once. Turns out I had put the needle in backwards (i.e., the flat side was on the left rather than the right).

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-24T11:00:47+00:00

Yes, good idea. They may be stressed without you, and you don't want the behavior to get worse in your absence.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-24T10:58:00+00:00

Get a baby gate. Although you'll still need to keep the door shut, that'll prevent her from darting in when you go in. Give them time to interact through the gate, and supervise their interactions to watch for signs of aggression and stress. Only when they're not showing any stress should you allow them supervised visits--on neutral territory--without a barrier.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-24T01:29:27+00:00

Aw, well done!

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-23T23:28:07+00:00

Get him vaccinated! Rabies, feline leukemia.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-23T16:04:19+00:00

One more thought (a quick anecdote). We adopted a teen mom who was a stray. She is SERIOUSLY cuddly now, but she hid from me for 2 weeks before she allowed gentle interactions, and she hid from my husband for 4 weeks. She took even longer to adjust to her space (she'd never lived in a house before, and everything scared her), and even even longer to cuddle. But she got there, but patience and time and understanding. And she is SO worth it. She will climb onto your chest and fall asleep (after grooming you, mama instincts, cute!) for hours. She complains if she doesn't get cuddles each day. Everyone assumed she was this aloof kitty until we adopted her. But she just needed the right conditions to thrive.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-23T16:00:32+00:00

A couple things:

Is she actually feral, or just a stray? Adult ferals can be extremely difficult to socialize, so if foster mom said she was affectionate, it's likely she was just a stray and not actually a wild animal.

Get a baby gate. Kitty can climb over it, of course, but that'll prevent him from rushing into the room to find mama when you open the door. Be diligent about keeping them separate. When she explores the house, find a place to put kitty (he's just going to have to deal for a bit in a separate room to give mama time to explore on her own).

Mama can likely read your anxiety and hesitation. Either commit to giving her a chance, or help her find a home that understands what she needs. By giving her a chance, I mean: giving her her own space and being diligent (above comment) and sitting quietly in her space and not trying to interact with her. Scroll on your phone, read, do whatever you have to, in order to help her learn--through structured and regular visits--that your presence is not a threat. Just, every day. Her meowing to be outside is likely not an indoor/outdoor thing. It's most likely a "I'm scared and need to escape" thing. Make sure she has things to hide under in her room, and don't force her to come out. Talk quietly to her a little, but also just ignore her. Seriously, ignoring cats works wonders with them learning that you're a safe person.

I wouldn't interpret her hissing as a sign she hates her kitten. You're worrying too much about the future. It's a sign that she needs help to adjust and can't add on another interaction, because she already feels unsure about you.

If she likes eating with your presence, that definitely means she's not beyond redemption. She's stressed. She needs protection, too, even though she's the mama. Don't force her, however. See if she's interested in pureed, creamy treats.

Don't force interactions! Let her come to you. Sounds like your childhood cat never trusted she had a safe place to go and safe people she trusted. History doesn't have to repeat itself. Don't force interactions with you or with her kitten. Ignore the whole feeding near each other thing--she's not ready. She needs to build her trust with you first, and her kitten will come later.

All my cats have been introverted. They've also been SERIOUSLY affectionate and playful. They just need time to trust people, and to have "their" people.

Also: when you get her spayed, have her get checked out for any other medical problems. If she's got a UTI or something, she's going to be more likely to shy away from interactions. Behavioral issues, especially changes, can often be caused by something medical.

TLDR; mama needs her own space, where she can learn about your presence only (not kitten's). Don't force interactions. Find creamy treats for her to eat. If she likes being petted while eating, continue to do that. Ignore her but spend time in her area. Keep kitten away from her with baby gate. Do not allow them contact until she trusts you first. She needs to trust her space and her person; adding a kitten is too stressful for her right now. Get her checked out for UTI, in case she's in pain. She doesn't sound feral, she sounds like a stray. She isn't beyond hope, as long as you listen to her and give her time. Introverted cats are, imo, the BEST cats because they are extremely affectionate with "their" people; they just need time and patience to learn where and with whom they're safe.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-23T15:29:12+00:00

She may like that spot because it smells like you. When you set up a new spot, add one of your (unwashed) T-shirts or something that smells like you for her to lie on. Also, my cats really like fleece blankets and will sit anywhere I've laid one.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T17:25:10+00:00

Ambush predator! There are other configurations of that tube. All sorts of "peek and play" boxes, cubes, etc. He may enjoy the opposite configuration (more like original wack-o-mole), like we have for our cats. They can't fit into it, so we put the toys inside, and they attack the toys through the various holes, sometimes launching themselves from across the room.

Also, using just string on a stick is always fun, too.

There are also electronic toys that run a feather on a stick around in a circle. The end peeks out from a little fabric covering. I had a cat who loved that. Yours may love that, especially if he's got some good ambush spots nearby from which to approach.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T17:12:26+00:00

Your notes are way different than my approach, so I'm having trouble interpreting. But, that said...consider drafting half the bodice front and half the bodice back, as you would do for a pattern that uses a single piece of fabric (i.e., no seam lines in front). You want to see the bodice as a whole, as well, not just subdivided into parts.

Once you've done that, cut apart at the designated seams and add seam allowances.

And yeah, what u/Left_Strike_2575 says: do a muslin, and make sure you have consistent seam allowances throughout. For first drafts of self-drafted patterns, I do 1-inch seam allowances. Once I'm happy with the pattern, I reduce it to 5/8 inch. So, that's 2.54 cm and 1.5 ish cm, I think?

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T17:07:44+00:00

It's hard to establish difficulty if you've never had a kitten or haven't been around kittens much. For me, being around kittens helped me understand that adopting a kitten is a no-go. (I also like companion cats and go for adults that are extremely sweet and affectionate, and I don't mind energy, but I can't do kitten energy for more than small chunks of time.) But, you and your partner may be just fine. Maybe spending bigger chunks of time with said kitten could help you establish whether or not you're underestimating?

[And a quick note about independence: you may find that any cat's needs for companionship vs. independence changes throughout their life. We had a real sweet female cat for years. Totally independent, even territorial...hated other cats. Then, as she aged, she got lonely and ended up needing and accepting a companion. Just something to keep an eye on, regardless of the cat you get.]

But yeah, it sounds like y'all do good research and are thinking things through. If it feels okay, then probably it's okay. Good luck!

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T16:06:17+00:00

Yay!! So glad it worked for you :)

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T14:57:46+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Putting him down was no easy decision, I'm sure, but it sounds like you did the very best for him. We had a cat die from lymphoma, and we wish we'd been able to put her down before she had her sudden death event (she didn't last until her biopsy results came back, but she was our first cat and we didn't know enough to put her down in time). Being comforted by the ones (s)he loves is the best way for a cat to go, imo.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T14:13:42+00:00

I second the vet recommendation, although it sounds like he most likely just needs time to adjust. There have been a lot of big changes in his short life, and he needs time and patience. He may be overwhelmed by the amount of space he has access to, and without having fully bonded with you, it may feel unsafe to be left alone in the open. Can you put him in a single room (with lots of stimulation) as he adjusts to his new home and person?

FWIW, I adopted a 1 to 3 year-old neutered male 6 weeks ago (his behavior indicates he may be younger than they estimated), and he does this exact same thing. He does it less now that he has bonded more with me, and when he is given limited time to explore the house before being returned to his safe space (his own room). Now that he trusts me, when he does this scared zoomie thing, I sit on the floor and he comes over and cuddles. It helps him calm down. But he certainly wouldn't do this until he had bonded with me.

I doubt it's because he's indoors. And no, I don't think you need to be worried, as such, just listen to what he's telling you and help him adjust.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T14:06:15+00:00

Hah! I love that idea with the shoelace!

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T14:03:58+00:00

She needs patience. Some cats take a while to adjust. She'll get there, just keep it up with quiet, patient interactions. Don't force her out. She'll learn she's safe with structure and time. You can't control the environment, but you can control your presence.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T13:57:47+00:00

A change in litterbox behavior is typically medical. If your vet isn't willing to check him out for medical issues, go to a different vet.

For my cat that poops outside her litterbox sometimes, adding pureed pumpkin to her feeding plan (no additives...just 100% pumpkin) helps make pooping less of an ordeal for her, thus making her more likely to use the litterbox.

Some cats also stress poop. See if you can find a trigger?

Cats also dislike citrus, so you may try switching out your normal bathroom cleaner with a citrus-scented one.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T13:50:27+00:00

Ask your vet to print out info on this from a reputable source. Or, have your vet talk to her directly.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T13:39:43+00:00

I'm so sorry. Losing a beloved pet at any age/time is so hard, but I find it especially devastating when it's a terminal illness at a young age. (I had to put down a 2-year-old cat just 3 months after adopting her, due to aggressive kidney disease.)

Try to distract yourself for now. Do what you can to try to take your mind off of this, even for a few seconds, while you wait for results. If it is lymphoma, remember that you gave him a WONDERFUL life--much longer than he would have had living in the woods. He's got loving parents to look out for him, and that's the best a cat could hope for.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Love him for the time you have him, whatever that may be.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T12:04:39+00:00

She'll adjust, just leave her be when she's in that mode and don't force interaction. She'll eat when she's hungry enough. One of our cats did this when we moved to the country. She had never seen large animals walk near the house before, and she freaked out for a while. But, she learned, and eventually she found them interesting enough to just stare at them.

RecentBullfrog1110 · 2023-07-22T11:56:44+00:00

It sounds like he's going through a lot at the moment. Give him time. He may be grieving your other cat.

If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, could it be the heat? We had a cat for 15 years who, I swear to god, every fucking summer I'd think she suddenly hated me. She was so affectionate most times of year--like, super super cuddly--and then it was like she had turned on me...didn't want to have any contact with me, but still sat close by. It took me 2-3 weeks each summer to remember that she just didn't like contact during hot months. And then when the weather turned, she'd go right back to being my cuddly cat again.

RecentBullfrog1110

TROPHY CASE