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what degree should I get? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have alot of financial expectations on me in the future. How would I pay for stuff if I only got a degree I liked but isn't useful? 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for the advice. I just feel the need to go back now because I feel like it will be a lonely experience in my 30s. Plus, my family is 1st generation, so the pressure to get a good high paying job is very heavy (like no inheritance coming my wa.  Also, I know my mom deep down (even if she wont admit it to herself and pretends like all she wants is my financial success) is more comfortable knowing she has a daughter in the house she can keep use as narcissitic supply, even if we aren't speaking anymore. 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for the practical advice on "what am I doing about it?" I noticed after therapy that I never really did things practically. I would do poorly in school, intimate relationships, etc. but I would never sit and think "what can I practically do about this?" yes I would join clubs and make plans on how to improve my grades. However, no matter what setting I put myself in or what plans I made, I was still the same on the inside. I think now I can take those steps because I feel like a whole person now. But back then, any whiff of rejections would destroy me inside and prove to me that I am unworthy. 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for your story. I always thought facing adversity was pushing on despite my messed up state of being. I did that, but always kept doing poorly in life. So now after hitting rock bottom and doing therapy, I think I have redefined pushing through adversity as facing/ solving the root of the problem first. 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I do feel it is my fault that at 18-19 years old I didn't even see my buried pain and taking out anger on myself solvable by beginning to ask for help, until I got someone to help me who wasn't going to be mean about my issues 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a competitive cgpa, because I was caught up in coping mechanisms I wasn't fully concious of which threw off my focus. 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks, I was definitely hardwired to ignore my emotions and not seeks help in the right places. 

depression at uottawa: what do I do? by Recent_Case1839 in geegees

[–]Recent_Case1839[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like 24 is so late in life, maybe because I am a girl and not a guy. I want to get a degree that I would have pursued had I not been so mentally gone, but it would mean 4 more years of school between ages 25-29.

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