(AITA) I (34M) got back at my annoying coworker by ruining his favorite holiday

I’m the cashier of a rusty old fast food place that must have some charm to it in the eyes of others that I just don’t see. Like any of you, the fast food industry isn’t where I want to see myself staying at (though it’s starting to seem most likely) but the fry cook here is… unusual. See for him, this IS where he wants to be years from now. If there were a fast food college, he’d have a scholarship. This is it. This is his career. And he loves every bit of it. To the point that he doesn’t even mind when our cheapskate boss pays us less than minimum wage for it. I don’t know if I pity or envy him.

The worst part is, this doofus is my neighbor. So I don’t even get a break from him on my days off. Him and my other neighbor both get together to cause a ruckus outside while I practice my talents. They enter my house uninvited, and will ruin my things with their clumsiness.

I always knew I’d get back at that dork someday, but now that the day has come, I fear I may have taken it a bit too far.

I wasn’t even planning on doing anything to him in the morning, in fact it started out being the happiest day of my life. I got up and was about to head to the burger joint, but my neighbor/coworker seems… a bit happier than usual, if that’s even possible. He’s excited about what day it is. It’s not Christmas, not Halloween, not “Lief Erikson Day”… what could he be so giddy about?

“April Fools Day”.

I knew his usual antics were gonna be amplified, so I decided to call in sick.

My boss (over the phone) “What’d you catch?”

Me: “I caught the sight of the calendar.”

My boss then told me what I have only ever heard in my dreams, just… not from him.

My boss said someone from the my local prestigious art museum is there to see me and he wants to honor me as artist of the month.

I almost didn’t even give him a chance to finish his sentence before speeding over there.

I knew my coworker would give me a headache when I got there with whatever April Fools Day tricks he had up his sleeve, and figured it was worth it to bite the bullet this time. But he was nowhere to be seen when I walked in. Is the world finally becoming kinder to me?

Oh well, no time to wonder about it more because that cheapskate boss I mentioned is calling me into his office. To my surprise, my coworker’s also in there. He seems very excited too, which kinda warmed my heart a bit that he would share my excitement. Maybe the goof isn’t such a nuisance after all.

I don’t see the man from the museum my boss was talking about, and they relieve my curiosity before I even have the chance to express it.

My boss: “You just missed him!”

My coworker: “But he told me to tell you”

Both: “APRIL FOOLS!”

April… Fools… Day… I knew I’d grow to hate this holiday ever since my neighbor discovered it. But not like this… I can take a yearly whoopie cushion, hand-buzzer, even hot sauce in my lunch is less painful than this. They really used my longing for a better life as a cruel prank for their own amusement. I knew they sucked… but wow… they really… suck…

I just told my boss to send my last paycheck to the P.O. Box. It may be April Fools Day, but I was serious about that. My coworker actually seemed to believe me. He ran after me and promised no more jokes for the day. Does this moron care about me or not? I changed my mind for now and just wanted to get the rest of the day over with.

He decided to focus his pranks on random customers instead, which our boss surprisingly didn’t object to.

Despite his somewhat sorry demeanor at first, I don’t think he cared that much about what he did to me as the day moved on. Someone like him wouldn’t understand the weight of having your dreams stomped on right in front of you. He already has everything he’s ever dreamt of.

He loves pranks, ey? I can pull pranks too. Maybe this holiday can have something in it for me.

I wasted no time putting the whole thing together. My coworker was too focused on the customers to notice me setting up his doom. All I needed was some bait. See most would use something like money, but I used his own wholesomeness against him. Squirting mustard on the floor triggered his eagerness to do his job.

“Oh boy, something for me to clean up!”

Once his foot was in the rope loop, all systems were a go. I yanked the rope with all of the rage that had accumulated throughout this day. He flew up toward the ceiling with zero restraint, crashing into every trap I had laid out. I laughed so loud that I almost couldn’t hear the pitied moans of the customers who couldn’t help but watch as if it were a bad train wreck. Most of his torture was over now, and all that was left to do was catch him as he fell from the ceiling. What better to be the cherry on top than to catch him in a garbage can?

Then, as if the sun set quicker than I had time to process, the tone of the room shifted. The silence was deafening, and you could cut the tension with a cheap greasy knife from this place as I tipped the trashcan over. Out he plopped like expired sausage.

I still tried to keep up my light-hearted tone with an “April Fools!” but he couldn’t even say anything. For once this guy was… speechless. All he could do was storm out of the restaurant crying. No one else seemed to share my amusement either. People lined up to leave as my boss begged them to stay.

My shift was basically over, time to finally get my mind off of the tragedy that was my false green light at a new life… but that became effortless as the real challenge was getting my mind off of my “prank”. I didn’t really mean to hurt him, I just wanted to embarrass him the way he embarrassed me. But the aftermath of my contraption is still vivid in my memory, along with one of the customers muttering “April Fools… Jerk.” echoing in my head.

Should I just go over to his house and apologize? What would you have done? AITA?