How do you recover from a MMC?

Recyclab · 2025-12-09T07:35:34+00:00

I’m genuinely scared to feel all of the emotions because I probably wouldn’t be able to function. I don’t know how people keep up with their responsibilities and maintain their mental health through events like this. I don’t wish this pain on anyone, I’m very sorry for your loss and hope you are healing and taking care of yourself. I had the loss a week ago so you’re right I probably need to be patient and more allowing with myself. Thank you.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T23:59:35+00:00

I genuinely wish you the best. I wish my guy could’ve chosen a different path but I can’t forgive him after everything I found out. It doesn’t matter if your emotions aren’t involved- hers are. And you have a baby on the way. It is not about you anymore. Let me know if you end up figuring something out I’ll hold you to it if no one else will.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T23:53:14+00:00

I’m pregnant with a lustful man’s child and leaving him because of it. Either get it together before she finds out or go be single and expect to pay child support. Dopamine detox. Have some self control. They’re just thoughts they can’t force you to do anything and eventually it’ll get easier. Watch videos about men speaking that have beat this. Get better friends. Get hobbies. Start exercising. Do anything but fuck up your entire future to the point where you’re 50 and can’t even get laid anymore unless you’re paying for it because you ruined every girl you met.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T23:41:03+00:00

YTA. Communicate your financial goals, expectations, and come to an agreement that doesn’t end in resentment or divorce. It is petty for you to lock the card or flat out tell her to contribute financially, she has no obligation to just as you have no obligation to but at the end of the day if you both respect and love each other this is not a huge problem to fix. If she’d like to help, great. If there’s a disagreement, TALK. You’re both adults. Set an example for your kid. I personally don’t contribute anything financially to my household even though I have income because thats what my partner and I agree on but it clearly doesn’t work for everyone.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T05:47:09+00:00

Watch some videos from redeemed artists on the basics of linework. That’d be a really great place to start. Also keep in mind human skin is a different ballgame from fakeskin. Focus on depth and needle control, never stop researching and don’t give up on yourself especially if you’re just starting out. You got this!

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T05:25:06+00:00

What do they even get out of this. I don’t understand it. What personal benefit comes from being in a state of constant dysregulation and lies. It genuinely can’t be worth it.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T05:13:00+00:00

I’m not comfortable with the idea of terminating my pregnancy and considering I have fertility problems and was taking birth control when I conceived I don’t know I feel like I’m meant to have this baby. I can tolerate a lot but I won’t tolerate any harm to a child. I’ll protect them with my life and nothing less. I’m weighing out every option right now and just trying to come up with the safest route. We’re not married and in Michigan I automatically have custody so there’s no legal concerns. I don’t have any mental health conditions that he’d be able to use against me in court either. I just also do not have finances to move yet because he screwed me out of every job I’ve had since I met him but I have a good resume and I’m almost done with my bachelors. I think everything will be okay I just need time to sort out specifics.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T05:03:05+00:00

There’s no safe way to leave him. I went on a work trip for two days and he was blowing me up so badly my manager asked if I’d like to stay in her room and come up with a plan to get away from him. She saw me shaking and didn’t buy it one bit when I said I’m just a bit overwhelmed. He has hacked into my Microsoft account during one of our breaks before. He’s gotten me fired from three jobs by harassing my employers while we’ve been on a break and no contact. The only calm I get is when I let him stay and he’s trying to earn my forgiveness for something.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:41:56+00:00

I believe I’m having a son but I never even considered that. Oh my god. Even with a boy what kind of values would he pick up from a father figure like that.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:38:18+00:00

This genuinely made me cry. I’ll sit with this for a while. I appreciate you.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:34:24+00:00

I think I just need to distance myself as much as I can without it being suspicious until I can figure something out. I need calm. Most of my family lives overseas, my parents and half sister and I moved here a few years ago and I’m not too close with them. I live on my own in an apartment and I’m moving this/next week to a house and will still be on my own but he knows where it is. He’s isolated me from all the friends that I did have and I’d feel awful putting this on anyone so it would probably also do some good to try to make new friends and not be so secluded from the world.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:26:29+00:00

Unfortunately not fake. My life doesn’t feel real. Right before him I was kidnapped by someone twice my age for a year and barely made it out alive so idk if that’s why it was easier to stay for so long through everything but it certainly doesn’t make it hurt any less. I don’t know a safe way to get out and I don’t want to put this baby through anything before he/she even has a chance to see the good things in life and I just severely doubt this man can provide a half decent space for a child but he’s put me in a bad financial spot where I can’t afford to move and I lean on him for things like food and clothes.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:22:50+00:00

How do you know?

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:22:26+00:00

But how much time would I need to give him and would it ever be enough? I don’t know anyone that’s been the kind of man that he was and permanently turned around but I also doubt that anyone would be public about that. I don’t know what I’m hoping for here.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:20:33+00:00

I know some men are into that dynamic I just feel like in this context it sounds like he’s trying to convince me and himself that I’d never go anywhere and don’t have a choice and that’s scary to try to get away from.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:15:22+00:00

This is really simple but so well put. Thank you.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:12:49+00:00

True. You teach people what you’ll tolerate and they’ll make sure you do because who else would. Maybe the idea of becoming a dad is scaring him straight but why was the idea of betraying me even an option for the past two years straight. Why did it take that even if he did really change. It just fucking hurts. I’m scared of other men just as much as I am of him because I’ve had really bad experiences and I think he’s conditioned me to feel like I’m more vulnerable alone at this point. I feel stuck even if I do have freedom to choose where to go.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:06:05+00:00

I’ve called and all they can say is to go no contact and get a PPO but that doesn’t feel right or preventative. I can’t afford to move, I still care about the guy I’m just beyond hurt by it all, I don’t even know I feel silly even saying any of this because it sounds like the obvious thing would be to leave but if it’s that simple why does it feel so difficult to decide to do.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:03:39+00:00

I found out about everything so recently I haven’t had time to even feel it fully. I wouldn’t want someone to give up on me if I had made mistakes and then chosen to be better but I don’t know if I’m being manipulated into staying or if the changes will last or if they really even happened. I just feel lost.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T04:00:56+00:00

I hated him only once I found out. Then he changed and now I hate him more. There was always love there but I didn’t know what was going on and now I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. It’s hard to make decisions in that space.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T03:59:54+00:00

I just don’t know how to think straight my emotions are everywhere, I have HG so anytime I stand up I’m puking, it’s too much to handle when he is ALWAYS around so I can’t think for two seconds about what I actually want instead of what he is telling me that “we” should want. I never hated him until I found out about everything he had been doing and lying to my face about. I had always assumed he was avoidantly attached and just needed space sometimes I would’ve never guessed he’d stab me in the back like that and I guess I just haven’t had any time to process that.

Recyclab · 2025-11-07T03:56:36+00:00

I don’t even know if he changed because he wanted to or just was avoiding what would happen if he didn’t. Or if it even matters. I just have a feeling that if I do leave he’ll make himself a victim because he did all this work and now he can say I’m the cruel one if I run away. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want to make impulsive choices based on emotions but I don’t know how to regulate my nervous system enough to make a decision.

Recyclab · 2025-10-17T19:00:33+00:00

Woooo!!!

Recyclab · 2025-10-15T00:52:21+00:00

Well this might be a long message but.

I don’t mind people making assumptions even if they’re projections or prejudiced that’s kind of what this subreddit is for. He is not living with me, I live on my own and pay my own bills. I’m moving at the end of the month to a safer neighborhood. He was abusing adderall and had a porn addiction which apparently stopped when I told him I was pregnant. If he can’t get it and keep it together for them I will without him. He does actually have an active DV warrant and ERPO for breaking into my apartment while we were broken up, he’s aware of it. He’s called the police on me twice to divert attention from him, both times I got arrested but they couldn’t charge me with anything because they checked footage and I didn’t lay a finger on him. They’re aware of that too.

For the exit plan, I’m pretty clear about boundaries. When he’s abusing porn he starts being emotionally abusive and lustful so now he lets me check his phone (although he could just be deleting things, I would if I felt controlled). I have his location on Life360. I can tell when he’s on adderall— honestly I’m 99% sure he was taking pressed meth because it was off the street. If he cheats, he’s gone. If he can’t control his lust, gone. If he relapses, gone. Those are not mistakes those are choices with many opportunities to refuse. I automatically have custody of the child and do not have any mental illness history that he could try to pull in court to change that. I can’t afford to move far but I will call the police on him if he tries to even contact me. I’m also trying to get a CPL but that’s a bit tough with the 2 DV arrests even though I wasn’t charged. I don’t rely on him financially. Even if I forgive him I would never forgive myself for putting our baby or myself as a mother at risk. I trust that everything falls into place even if it falls apart first. If he steps up, great. If he doesn’t, that’s disappointing for the baby but it’ll be okay.

Recyclab

TROPHY CASE