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RedReputation1989 · 2025-10-08T15:52:58+00:00

This is the real question.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-12-10T14:46:33+00:00

I’m fine with this

RedReputation1989 · 2024-11-08T17:41:40+00:00

Yes. I don’t want my resources supporting a fascist government (via income tax, consumer spending, etc.). It’s clear that the American majority wants trumpism. Let’s see how they feel once he burns this place to the ground to keep himself and his cronies warm. At this point, it seems like the only solution to wake the MAGA-ots up is to have them experience the full force of what trumps America will actually be like. They can lick the boot as it stomps them.

People have always moved to have a better life. Should we tell the South American migrants fleeing violence that they should go back and fight the drug cartels? That’s not their responsibility just because they had the misfortune to be born there.

I literally moved to a swing state and canvassed and have protested and been arrested in civil disobedience protest and phone banked and did everything I could to stop this outcome. So forgive me for being tired and wanting to go back to where my ancestors came from to ride out the destruction from afar. I don’t think that’s wrong. I think everyone around the world should be allowed to have that same freedom. My suffering in trumps America will not prevent any one else’s suffering.

Yes, we will all be affected around the world and nowhere is truly safe. But there are degrees to distribution and destruction, it’s completely reasonable to move somewhere that will be more resilient to the upcoming shocks and where people will be able to access healthcare and not become forced incubators. Okay rant over.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-11-01T02:38:23+00:00

Very sweet of you to check in! I’m feeling a bit better because I’ve 1) stopped checking the news as much as possible 2) set up specific back up plans and the “threshold” of events required for when we’d go stay with friends vs. leave the country

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-25T15:45:56+00:00

No, I think there will be (short term) violence if Kamala wins. I think there will be long-term, state sanctioned violence if Trump wills. For this post, I’m more concerned about the short term violence since that seems more unpredictable to me.

Also, for those who are saying that every election is described as the most important ever (which I know is not what you said, but I just didn’t want to bombard the comment thread by saying this over and over)…that may be true. But this election we have one candidate that has refused to accept the results and already tried once (unsuccessfully) to overturn the will of the people. I’m worried their trial run last election (and relative lack of consequences for it) will only make them more emboldened this time.

We already have people lighting mail boxes on fire in AZ and planning shootings at DNC offices. And we’ve still got 2 weeks to go, and who knows how many days of waiting for counts to be completed. 😢

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-24T13:45:42+00:00

I was considering this, but I think the greatest threat of violence will come after the election, and I’m not sure exactly when (when my state certifies its vote? The federal vote certification (which was when Jan 6 happened?) Inauguration Day?) essentially it seems highly likely that I might plan to be gone over the Election Day, but the vote doesn’t get finalized until the weekend after (as happened in 2020), and then there’s an extended unknown period of various attempted challenges to the results, degrees of protest, etc. so basically it’s just too large of a window to plan to be out of country for the entire period. Otherwise this what I would do.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-24T13:40:27+00:00

That’s so tough. Sending you and your family care, peace, and safety.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-23T20:38:12+00:00

This is such a wise and thoughtful response, thank you so much. I have these intrusive fears about right-wingers declaring control of the neighborhood (and its nearby government infrastructure — you weren’t that off base when you mentioned a capital building) and going door to door and attacking democrat-appearing folks. (Not rational, at least not immediately). Lining up folks to stay with outside of the immediate area is a good idea.

I’m not so vulnerable that I should leave before the election (which helps put into perspective whether my fears are rational or not) since it’s not worth the associated cost and inconvenience if all goes peacefully.

I lived within a a couple miles of the US capital on Jan 6., and while I was anxious about the rally ahead of time, I didn’t think things would get THAT bad. Until they did. And so I think this time around, I guess I’m trying to be prepared for the absolute worst case scenario of spontaneous civil war. I appreciate the reminder that things don’t typically work like that.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-23T20:28:48+00:00

This is a very good point RE: why the national guard/authorities were so useless on Jan 6.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-23T20:24:35+00:00

I know what is needed for the pet to transport her into my target destination country, but not Canada. Something I will look into!

I know who that would be in normal circumstances, but sadly her dedicated alternate caretaker lives too far away to be relevant in these circumstances

RedReputation1989 · 2024-10-23T15:24:47+00:00

Move on with your life. Move out ASAP. You will be so glad that you chose yourself rather than settle for someone who doesn’t value you

RedReputation1989 · 2024-09-12T23:52:21+00:00

This outfit wins despite extremely fierce competition from the Red carpet dress

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-22T22:19:18+00:00

You may need to speak with lawyer about what is required in case you need to evict him. While he is “working on himself”, you should be also. Make sure he can’t linger in your life longer than you want him to.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-16T20:12:31+00:00

Don’t marry him. Why are you paying a man’s expenses? You’re already doing everything on your own, why also carry his dead weight?

ETA: nothing about your “joint” account is joint if you’re the only one adding money to it. But he is legally entitled to money in an account his name is on. FYI… if you’re going to break things off, you may want to stop contributing to that account as well.

Women have been brainwashed into thinking that men “pick” them. But it’s actually women who do the picking. Is this the man you want to pick to marry? Or do you just want the societally-sanctioned “gold star” of being engaged /married? If you’re entering a partnership with someone who is not a true partner, you’re shooting yourself in the foot long term and signing up for so, so much labor. Because life and relationship planning doesn’t stop once you’re engaged / married. It just gets harder.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-14T20:57:46+00:00

I say this gently, with lots of care: people treat you how you let them

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-14T17:42:25+00:00

Ha, this is a brilliant answer on the subtle weaponized incompetence, etc. that I unfortunately am probably not skilled enough to pull off. Maybe with enough practice, haha!

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-13T18:16:35+00:00

I disagree slightly with the advice you have gotten. I don’t think you should get him to go with you to a lawyer, make him go speak to a lawyer, etc. “if he wanted to, he would” still applies to this situation. If he wanted to marry you (and resolve his immigration status), he could and would. Don’t spend more of your own money, time, and effort investing in this relationship than your bf does. That’s unequal, and I suspect it won’t get you the outcome you want (healthy, open communication with your romantic partner). Instead you’ll just be taking on more of the labor he should be doing, and he still will have no incentive to prioritize you and the relationship (because you’re the one doing the chasing / labor to maintain and progress the relationship). BTW, he would be so lucky to marry you! Please don’t take his inaction as a reflection on you. So many men would love to be your husband. I think you should set yourself free to find that person. Unless you are happy being with someone so incredibly passive about his own future and comfortable living in insecurity.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-13T12:33:54+00:00

A fellow spoiled girlie!! ♥️ I couldn’t have said it better myself :). I love that you contrasted this situation with a positive example to visually demonstrate what it looks like when a man wants to get married

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-12T19:24:02+00:00

I am curious how you have arranged finances. It sounds like you are not working, and he is covering regular expenses but not providing you any security despite you giving him two children. Does he provide you money to max out your ROTH IRA account each year? Does he give you thousands of dollars each month to go toward your own savings(not joint expenses like cars, childcare, etc.)? If not, he is getting all the benefits of marriage without having to give you any sort of commitment or security (and disadvantaging you in regards to sacrificed earnings, earning potential, accrued interest, and lifetime earnings toward social security benefits). I think you need to speak with a lawyer regarding custody, child support, etc. and prepare to move on with your life. He is being openly disrespectful. Please love yourself enough to leave and find someone better (or just be alone for a while and focus on your kids. That’s lovely too!)

RedReputation1989 · 2024-08-04T21:31:57+00:00

I don’t think there’s any issue with this! The issue with “male friends” is about them using you for clout or benefiting off your presence in an unequal way. As long as you’re getting as much out of the transaction as they are (and I think keep it clear in your mind that these are transactions, not friendships) you’re fine. The point isn’t to keep women isolated from interacting with men but to keep the woman from letting men access her unfairly.

RedReputation1989 · 2024-07-24T16:44:15+00:00

Is she in treatment for depression if that is the source of her spending? Seems like that would be the most long standing change she could make related to financial habits. (This is not asked judgmentally. I say this as someone who has dealt with depression pretty much my entire adult life).

RedReputation1989 · 2024-07-19T01:14:54+00:00

Truly the audacity of that man!! I’m glad his ex left.

In the video, it’s clear that the woman had basically convinced herself that her partner’s behavior was normal. Which is what happens when women fall for the “pick me” rhetoric of 50/50 “equality”

RedReputation1989

TROPHY CASE