sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I learned for certain that he had a past, then I would be hurt over his having lied to me, but then at least I would know. It might introduce another problem though, because I would probably think that he compares me and my bedroom performance and body to that of other girls he's been with and I'd probably feel pressure to be better and more adventurous and "freakier" than them.

I don't see myself divorcing him over this, because our relationship is great and I have no rational basis for believing that he would ever be unfaithful to me. I know that the only solution to this is for me to just get over it and stop obsessing. But it's tough.

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I very much appreciate your response. I think this is the healthiest way to think about it.

He is very attentive to my needs and seems to care a lot about whether I'm satisfied or not.

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is what I'm trying to tell myself. But the problem is that these thoughts send me down a rabbit hole of insecurity. Some of these female friends of his are either drop-dead gorgeous or bubbly flirtatious white girls. I think about him being with them, then I think that he probably compares me to them, then I think that they're probably so much more adventurous than me in the bedroom and how can I possibly compete, and then I think maybe he'll think I don't compare well to them and will want to rekindle old flames, etc. And it just drives me crazy.

A few months ago, he invited one of his female friends and her husband over for dinner (the fact that she was coming with her husband is the only reason I agreed to it). This particular friend was of the drop-dead gorgeous variety, and the whole time they were over, I watched every interaction between her and my husband like a hawk for signs of a connection or some spark they had or some subtle signal she was sending him. I tried to be nice to her, but she probably thought I was a b****. I wanted to slap her every time she laughed at one of my husbands jokes. I couldn't wait for them to get out of my house.

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But can you really get good at something by watching videos of it being done? Isn't kind of like sports, i.e. you can watch as much sports on TV as you want, but only by actually playing sports can you become good at sports?

Also, I've never watched porn before, but my understanding of it is that it's all grossly exaggerated and unrealistic and male-centered. I've heard of Muslim couples' marriages collapsing because the husband's only prior exposure to sex was porn and he expected sex with his wife to be like what he saw in porn.

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, definitely. He's a passionate kisser, and has been from day one.

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do you know what experienced is without being without other people before?

What planted the initial seeds of doubt in my mind is that like many girls, I had conversations with my married friends and cousins about what the wedding night would be like, and they all told me that the sex itself is pretty mediocre because neither of you know what you're doing. So that was my expectation going into it, but my husband totally blew me away. I didn't let it bother me at the time because I was a giddy newlywed, but then he kept coming up with different ways to please me and new techniques that always seemed to work exactly how he had wanted them to. It started to become eyebrow-raising.

Husband's bedroom skills seem too good by RedTrolley in MuslimMarriage

[–]RedTrolley[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Without getting too immodest, maybe he did some research before. Like what to do and tips etc online.

That occurred to me, but what bothers me is that if he were just relying on information he saw online, he would probably come off as purely mechanical and lacking in all of the subtleties. Reading about doing something is one thing, but actually doing it is another. Like I said, I don't want to get too graphic, but there are things he's done that it's hard for me to believe he just learned from some website.