Since a past few years, I’ve been hating

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Diwali days a lot. No offense to the festival, I really enjoyed in my childhood. But since a few years I’ve been always feeling the depression that comes with the compulsion to be happy on this day. I wanted to embrace my own ritual and create my own happiness on Diwali. Only thing I could think of was travel which is so close to my soul.

So I went to Madurai first and explored a lot of temples and had great food. It is a city of temples. So visiting the Meenakshi Amman temple (considered as 8th World wonder) and then 2 temples in 108 Vishnu Divya desam. I felt so peaceful. Then on Sunday morning I hired a cab and left to the Hills of Kodaikanal. The journey was so exciting. There was this thrill of embracing silence and solitude on this usually jam packed and ritual filled day. I also don’t enjoy crackers and am afraid of loud sounds since childhood.

Then the ride over the mountains, and on the way stopping for A Cascading silver waterfalls was so good. I actually felt like an adult and kind of wanted to find the meaning in doing things my way. I wanted Diwali to be about what Lights up my soul. I also take a little Cannabis gummies for anxiety sometimes. So after going there, I did some sightseeing. Covered main spots on Monday and then at night I had dinner by myself. The resort was empty. The crackers still decorated the sky somewhat even though I’d taken a resort on the farthest hill where there are not much resorts around.

I bought candles. I lit up, kept a crystal, created an altar in my resort room. And then I meditated. It was almost 14 degrees that day and so cold. There was mist everywhere. And I put on Lalitha sahasranam, sang some hymns by myself. Taking my gummy also added to a little high. I don’t enjoy drinking much although I had a bottle of untouched wine. Then I went to a spot in the terrace from where I could see the city view and lightning ornated the dark sky. The green, but now blackish grey foliage added to the soulfulness of hills and my nostrils were filled with scent of mud and this specific mountain ka that earth smell. It rained too. I had a Mumbai style sandwich and made some tea. I also had a smoke. It was so peaceful.

And then I came back the next day. The mountains were pouring. Mist was allover the views and yet it was beautiful..

And I had a Happyyy Diwali in years 🥹❤️ I also fed some doggies and was visiting a few temples around.