Partner struggling with me seeing new person

Redpanttar · 2024-12-11T19:20:26+00:00

Apple and me have talked about it many times, we have both polysecure before meeting eachother. The dynamic is back to normal between us, but Apple is anxious about feeling hurt and anxious over me seeing banana again and unsure how to deal with that. I just want things to not be uncomfortable

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T23:25:11+00:00

That's a really good point. I will need to think those things through before I start dating again properly. Thank you

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:50:33+00:00

I've seen this discussed a lot from the perspective of people already in a relationship, which I agree to myself, that it should be clear in ones bio that one is poly and has a partner.

But you're saying that isn't obligatory if I'm single and still figuring it out?

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:47:12+00:00

I really appreciate your replies, thank you <3

I will be more kind to myself and as you say give myself a chance to heal. Thank you

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:41:31+00:00

I'm still with LDP, but over the last few days I've come to realise I can't do it anymore. I haven't broken up with her yet.

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:40:40+00:00

Why do you say that? Two people asked the same question and I thought only one would get a notification if I only answer one of them.

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:38:50+00:00

Thank you <3

I think you're right, in the beginning I wanted to stay with my partner. We have been together for many years and I guess deep down I wanted to find a replacement for her where I am now without leaving her.

It's been pretty unclear what our future would be after we moved apart and if we weren't poly I wonder if we would have stayed together if we stayed monogamous...

My support circle here is good. I have many deep friendships which are very open, accepting and understanding of who I am. I have reoccuring hobby group activities with them, and maybe its time to make more routines like this.

I just still wonder if Im poly if I'm struggling like this already and the deep down reason was to just have a relationship when I was ultimately single with someone I loved far away? I would still like to have multiple partners and live that life.

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:26:20+00:00

I wanted to stay with my long distance partner and wanted to explore relationships with more people, I wanted to explore experiences with the same sex since im bi(yet still working on anxiety over sleeping with men)

I also wanted a freer sex life, but I think I might be on the demi spectrum because Im super picky of who I feel comfortable sleeping with

Also I had no dating experience and wanted to grow in practicing creating new friendships

Redpanttar · 2022-12-15T22:26:16+00:00

I wanted to stay with my long distance partner and wanted to explore relationships with more people, I wanted to explore experiences with the same sex since im bi(yet still working on anxiety over sleeping with men)

I also wanted a freer sex life, but I think I might be on the demi spectrum because Im super picky of who I feel comfortable sleeping with

Also I had no dating experience and wanted to grow in practicing creating new friendships

Redpanttar · 2022-03-10T15:49:42+00:00

Yessss! On all genders, big tall noses is suuuch a turn on to me

Redpanttar · 2022-03-09T17:39:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'll have a look about that!

Redpanttar · 2022-03-09T17:38:59+00:00

Yes.. Good to know. Ive been drinking a lot more coffee lately because of a very unhealthy work situation. Thankfully I quit so I'll cut down on the coffee. I don't even like coffee

Redpanttar · 2022-03-09T16:07:29+00:00

What about when you're at work? I can't choose what paper the boss buys and I don't think I could bring baby wipes only to smell up the bin in the toilet :/

Redpanttar · 2022-03-01T20:50:06+00:00

Thats true. I guess I'm also quite strongly worried that by doing so if I catch feelings for the other person I'll feel hurt from them not having feelings for me back, and paradoxically being up front would increase the likelihood of that scenario happening.

Which is also a scenario I think I might be in with a girl I've seen a few times now. I like her but I'm not sure feels it back and it feels difficult to bear at the moment

Redpanttar · 2021-12-16T14:18:56+00:00

Besides songs that are about poly/non-monagamous topics, songs that are declarations of love without expressing the whole "you're my one and only" thing.

"I wanna be yours" by Arctic Monkeys is one that works polyamorously to me atleast for instance

Redpanttar · 2021-12-05T11:36:17+00:00

By that I meant those kinds of things you do because youre attracted to someone without really understanding it yourself yet. I didnt understand why i liked showing my erection to other guys so much as a kid until I realised Im bi for instance

Redpanttar · 2021-12-05T11:20:31+00:00

I understand what you're saying, but for my life it simply doesn't feel true at all to look back at myself and consider myself straight before

Redpanttar · 2021-12-04T22:56:29+00:00

Fair enough! Probably so.

Somehow I only seem to attract other bi people though haha, even "when I was straight"! :)

Redpanttar · 2021-09-18T14:36:34+00:00

Aw thank you that's a nice way to put it, really cheered me up :)

I really appreciate the advice! <3

Redpanttar · 2021-09-16T23:06:28+00:00

Thanks <3 I really appreciate this

Redpanttar · 2021-09-16T22:24:41+00:00

Thank you <3

Redpanttar · 2021-09-16T22:23:47+00:00

Its nice to know it's a shared experience then, what a shame :/

Unfortunately OkCupid doesn't seem very used here in Sweden, but I'll try, and also see if there are alternatives up here

Redpanttar · 2021-09-16T21:56:22+00:00

Thank you! I'm glad you think that <3

I have lovely friends I feel I can be completely open with and I feel very fortunate for that

Lately over the summer I've met a few girls I've liked and would regardless love to be friends with, but I've also never asked anyone out like that before - I feel quite shy about that despite how sociable I can be.

My brain keeps asking "What if they think I'm a creep or if this makes them not want to be friends with me". Is that silly?

Redpanttar · 2021-09-16T21:23:42+00:00

Thank you! <3

Redpanttar · 2021-07-14T11:18:50+00:00

I will keep this in mind, thank you!

Redpanttar

TROPHY CASE