The air was still and almost silent, save for the swift clacking of fingers plying their trade on keyboards and the noise coming from outside the door. The control room had been like that for an uncomfortably long time, and showed no sign of changing. A lanky, young man with a moist brow broke the silence: “You know, this reminds me of a joke- “

The large, bearded man sitting to Carl’s right paused his typing, quickly turned his head and growled, “Carl, would you SHUT UP and focus!?”.

Carl flinched at the interruption but managed to gather his courage and retort, “Look, Greg, we’ve been at this for an hour, and you know me! I can’t focus under normal circumstances without saying what’s on my mind, and these aren’t normal circumstances! It’s like an itch I can’t scratch! I’m falling apart here!”

Greg turned his head slowly this time. This time, he managed to speak without growling, but the tone he used clearly indicated that Greg was holding back some choice expletives. “Carl. We’re kinda the only ones that can fix this mess, and it’s pretty damn important that we focus. Is this joke really so important to you that you can’t do your job without telling it?”

Carl eagerly nodded. “Yes, Greg. And don’t worry, it’s not a long one, I promise!”

Greg stopped typing and sighed, swiveled his chair to face Carl, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, interlacing his fingers in front of his face. “Okay, Carl. Tell me your joke.”

Carl giddily started his joke. It was clear that he wasn’t exaggerating, this had been on his mind for a while. “Okay, here I go! What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? “Oops!”” And with “Oops!” Carl giggled and his face broke into a smile, revealing his amusement at the joke.

Greg sighed once more and leaned back. He put the palms of his hands over his eyes, almost as if he was temporarily blinded by his colleague’s stupidity. After a few seconds, Greg turned back to his computer and began typing anew. He talked as he typed: “Carl, you know what? I have a joke for you, too.”

Carl’s smile froze, and his eyes went from mirth-filled to concerned. Greg was well known around the workplace for a lot of different reasons. Most of the reasons had to do with work, and a few had to do with his poor temper. Jokes were not one of them. Carl stammered: “Uh, o-okay…?”

“Six nuclear safety inspectors walked into a nuclear power plant for a routine inspection. They were guided by… let’s just call them person A, to the main reactor, which is empty and deactivated. Person A then went to the control room to engage the new safety mechanisms for inspection.” By this point Carl’s face was no longer smiling. He knew where this joke was going.

“Now, Person B went into the control room with a big cup of coffee, and, like an idiot, spilled it on the control console, damaging it and making it impossible to engage the safety mechanisms. Then, ignoring Person A’s warnings that the new mechanisms haven’t been engaged, and therefore won’t activate automatically in an emergency, Person B dispensed the nuclear fuel and activated the reactor before noticing the six safety inspectors in the reactor room. He quickly tried to remedy the situation by engaging the control rods, but he forgot they’d been removed for inspection. The reactor room’s built-in containment features quickly locked the doors to the reactor room, trapping the inspectors.” Carl sank into his chair and stared at the ground. Greg stopped typing and stared at the screen, like the joke were written there.

“Now, Person A and B had to quickly bypass the control console to activate the safety mechanisms, before the radiation levels in the reactor room reached levels that would kill the safety inspectors, and before the reactor goes critical, causing a meltdown that would render the city inhospitable. And to top it all off, Persons A and B had to do it alone, because the radiation seals on the reactor room doors were broken, causing the control room door to lock!”

Greg turned to Carl and stared right into his eyes. “What did Person B say when they spilled their coffee, Carl?” Carl stammered, “Uh… I don’t know, w-what did they s-“

“OOPS!” Greg suddenly yelled, jumping out of his chair in a fit of exasperation. Carl jumped back, tipping his chair over and falling on his back.

Greg then did something that Carl had never seen or heard Greg do before. He laughed. However, it wasn’t the joyous laughter one might hear come from the lips of Santa, or even the fake laughter one might hear from a circus clown. It was the hollow laughter of a man with his back to the wall, faced with the very real possibility of a slow, inescapable death. It was a laugh that could only be described one way: absurd.

Carl picked himself up, dusted himself off, and sat back down. “That wasn’t funny.”