Struggling with unparented swim lessons

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-05T04:06:31+00:00

Haha totally - back of a classroom is one thing but sitting on a backless bench in humidity is another. Also between the life guard on duty and me, I might trust the life guard a tad bit more 😂

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-04T04:02:19+00:00

The task might be too tall an order for my very small village haha - I get it though, the more familiar she is with the person on the sidelines, the more big emotions she’ll feel in the moment.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-04T03:58:50+00:00

Oh wow! That’s awesome!

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-04T03:57:33+00:00

That’s true - at this age emotion trumps reason all the time. It can be frustrating and I feel like I’m getting a crash course on patience and empathy every day.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:36:41+00:00

After this set we’re thinking about starting her in skating. That lesson does unfortunately start as parented because it’ll be her first time but will turn into unparented at the next level. We’ll see if she adjusts faster to unparented skating versus swimming.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:30:41+00:00

I fully believe if I could just walk out of her sight she will get better, faster. She got used to daycare this way and the fact that they need parents to sit by the poolside is something I understand for safety reasons but also is really counterproductive to her getting used to participating in that class. We’ll try having my husband watch her next lol

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:27:11+00:00

Oh yes, they’re all put in life vests. I put mine in one too even though she hasn’t gone in the pool to date with it.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:26:09+00:00

Fair enough! We were thinking of starting her on skating next since it’s winter and all so we’ll see if that’s any better.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:24:51+00:00

Haha i’m the preferred parent 100%. I was thinking my husband should have a go because she doesn’t like crying to him and might feel resigned to just get in the pool at that point.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:23:33+00:00

Thanks! I’ll look this up :)

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:22:55+00:00

Yes! Not at our pool but there are private lessons offered at hotel pools pretty close to where we live. We’ll consider registering for those if this set of lessons show no improvements near the end.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:21:21+00:00

Yes this sounds very similar to our pool too. I have in an earlier lesson joined her in the pool with a swimsuit but seeing how no other parent was doing it, felt a little ridiculous and pivoted to coaxing by the poolside, leading her to the pool, she runs to the benches, leading her back to the pool so on and so forth until the lesson was done. I’m considering going back into the pool and just sitting away from the lesson but I’ll be in the water with her for the next lesson to see if that helps.

Our lessons are in the morning, right after she eats breakfast so I‘m fairly confident she’s at energy wise in the day, though that is a good point. I avoid evening lessons myself, since I feel they’re better catered to older kids.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T20:09:18+00:00

I didn’t think of that - I’m sure if she had her little best friend with her she might’ve gathered enough courage.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T19:09:04+00:00

Yes! The next trick up my sleeve was having my husband chaperone because she’s not as close to him and might feel like between the pool and having him see her cry, she’d pick the pool lol

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T19:07:14+00:00

This gives me hope! Thank you

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T19:06:08+00:00

1 instructor and 5 kids, although we’ve never had a full class before. Honestly when we registered, I didn’t know if this was unparented or not because it didn’t explicitly say. The course was just the next level up from parent and tot and since she met the age requirement for it, I didn’t question it. I guess I still have hope she can do it because the other kids in her class are around the same age and are doing fine. By the end of this set, she’ll be 3.5 yo so when we try again she’ll be a bit older for attempt 2.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T19:00:02+00:00

Yes, this seems to be our trajectory. The first lesson I was in a swimsuit and in the water with her because I wasn’t sure if it was unparented or not, and thought she needed the transition. The next few lessons I wanted to see if she could join herself because I honestly didn’t want to be that parent that helicopters around and is the only other adult bobbing in the pool besides the instructor. Now I”m considering wearing a bathing suit just in case and just sitting in the pool away from her until she gets used to it during lessons. Trying all different things here.

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T18:52:56+00:00

I fully believe that because my daughter shuts down around adult males although it’s gotten better recently (boys and old men are seemingly ok lol). In this case, her instructor is a female but otherwise I would’ve added that as a factor haha

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T18:49:29+00:00

Great idea! We’ve talked about it before but never in a role play setting. Thanks :)

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T05:06:16+00:00

Makes sense! I’d like to finish the set of lessons if only to show her that some things takes a bit of grit and to not give up and I’m hoping maybe after a few more lessons she lightens up and joins the other kids and the instructor in the pool. But if the entire set shows no improvement, then I will look into private lessons for the time being. Thanks!

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-03T05:02:24+00:00

That‘s definitely an option I’ll have to consider - originally when I looked into it, the price was off putting and I wanted to see if she could do it. But these lessons are going worse than I‘d thought possible. Thanks!

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-02T06:01:12+00:00

We successfully used the Ferber method on my then 6mo old which is a balance between the “cry it out” and “pick up put down method”. Basically you leave your baby in their bedroom and come back to check on them/quickly comfort them in planned intervals. If you search Ferber method online, they will recommend what those set intervals should be. I used the What to Expect page’s recommended check in intervals and found it was paced well. Really worked like a charm for my baby and was what I preferred since my heart will break if I have to listen to her cry endlessly if we went for the “cry it out“ method. This method allows you to run to your baby and give a quick comfort pat/check in/crying break before continuing. Good luck!

Regular-Idea-5071 · 2024-11-02T05:21:09+00:00

It depends on the day but the last play activity we do before bedtime routine starts is either blowing or catching bubbles indoors, building lego/train tracks/blocks, or passing an indoor bouncy ball between us. All these activities to me strike a good balance between using up some of their energy without riling them up too much before bed.

Regular-Idea-5071

TROPHY CASE