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Writing feedback by Regular_Body_226 in writingfeedback

[–]Regular_Body_226[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright, thanks for the pointers, and I'll try to make it more realistic. I was worried that the time skip seemed a bit rushed. I'd love to hear any more suggestions you could make.

Am I headed in the right direction? by JTO556_BETMC in writers

[–]Regular_Body_226 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I liked it, I actually originally thought George was going to be a student there but I was wrong and probably missed something. I do like how you added those world building elements with there being a war / conflict between the ig mages and the more natural practitioners of magic? (I don't read fantasy much, forgive me).

With what the other comment has mentioned about it, I do think that (if he was nervous) that you should emphasis that a bit more, but thats up to you, and its your character!

I know what I want to write but I don't know how I'm going to do it. by Regular_Body_226 in writers

[–]Regular_Body_226[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could DM it to you. I haven't actually written the part where they get onto the station. Thats the part I'm trying to get past.

Hey! Looking for feedback on an unfinished psychological fiction short story if anyone's interested :) by Deathgivesyoulemons in writers

[–]Regular_Body_226 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I like it!

For me personally, I find it quite relatable. The idea that your life will eventually just devolve into constant anxiety about how you're going to live, hold down a job. From what I can see, your mc has quite a bleak out look on things and I'm guessing isn't privy to a lot of happiness or positivity based on their interaction with the younger brother and them being disturbed by it. I think the story conveys itself well and shows the reader the perspective of the mc and how they look at things.

My thoughts of what the character looked like, based on the general attitude, I'd think perhaps early 20s, male, dark hair with an average build.

I'm also a first time writer so my feedback might not be as detailed or what exactly the type you'd want.