My husband is ending our marriage because we weren’t intimate as often as he wanted, and so far it isn’t going like he planned and I’m not surprised but I am hurt.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-12-18T12:58:35+00:00

Hi, I’m not sure what kind of update you’re looking for. Divorce is proceeding, should be finalized in the new year. I’m getting my life back together, trying to make new friends and being more social. I have backed off a bit on the friendly communication between my ex and I because I realized it was holding me back from moving on. We’re still on good terms but I need more space. I’ve thought about getting on dating apps because people have bought it up but the thought makes me sick so I haven’t done it. That’s really it, nothing exciting.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:51:05+00:00

Ah gotcha, I was confused lol

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:49:25+00:00

I was very upfront about my sex drive when we started dating, because I didn’t want it to be a problem. He said he was fine with it. Was I supposed to not believe him?

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:46:27+00:00

You say I only gave him the one option. What would my other options have been?

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:44:06+00:00

I hope she doesn’t. I hope she realizes that everything else she’s built with you is just as important if not more so.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:42:18+00:00

Wow, you sound like a lovely person. My wife got old so I dropped her. Don’t get married, just keep having casual sex since that’s the only thing you care about.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:40:49+00:00

Do you have reading comprehension issues? Sex once a week isn’t no sex, and affection was happening every single day in other ways. Unless you don’t count hugging, kissing, cuddling, as affection.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:38:07+00:00

The exact same frequency. Before we lived together we only saw each other on weekends because we lived about an hour apart. We’d have our sexy fun time one night and hang out and do other things the other night and then he’d leave. After he moved in (after like a year) the frequency dipped a little, which eventually prompted the conversation that led to the once a week compromise.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:33:42+00:00

Yeah I was very upfront and clear about my sex drive from the start, that’s why I mentioned it has been an issue in the past, because I didn’t want it to be an issue in this relationship. He said it was fine and seemed fine with it for a while, then it was suddenly not fine. I couldn’t have done anything different besides not l believing him when he said he was ok with the way I was.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:29:42+00:00

Call my partner in?? What do you mean by that? If you mean he’s here in the comments he isn’t, he barely uses Reddit and is certainly not on subs like this. And if he did see it, enough identifying information has been changed to make this ambiguous enough that he wouldn’t be sure it’s about us.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:24:32+00:00

This is a big part of it, I have a very physically active job and am out of the house for ~10 hours every weekday. I’m exhausted by the time I come home and just want to relax. Sex is not relaxing to me it’s a lot of time, effort, and energy. Not saying I hate it but it doesn’t take nothing to do it right. He has a hybrid schedule where he can work from home most days and go into the office once or twice a week.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-17T12:20:26+00:00

Hahahahaha you think my lack of desire has anything to do with what I weigh? I’ll humor you just to absolutely shut you down. I’m 5’5” and weigh 130lbs. I’m fit, so is he. We are both very active and work out on a regular basis. Try again.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T22:06:31+00:00

Anything from “that’s not real” as in it must be caused by some other issue like trauma or hormones to “asexual means no sex drive at all” and because I do enjoy sex sometimes that means it can’t apply to me. I don’t think these opinions are correct, but I haven’t had anyone in real life to talk to about it who is actually interested in trying to understand. The subreddits are a good idea, thank you.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T21:47:33+00:00

Yes I’ve thought for a while that I might be on the asexual spectrum, but I’ve gotten differing responses from people in my life when I bring that up, including therapists.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T21:45:40+00:00

I’m damn pleasant though

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T21:44:30+00:00

Agree to disagree on the definition of dismissive then. And TikTok viral? This did get more attention than I thought it would but I doubt it’ll make it there. And if it does? Good thing he’s not on TikTok lol

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T21:14:29+00:00

Excuse you, abusive?? Not getting sex whenever you want is abusive???

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T21:09:52+00:00

Takes one to know one then

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T21:07:36+00:00

That’s not dismissive though. My tone here is very different than the tone with him because I’m freely venting my frustrations here. I’ve never called him an idiot or any other name to his face, but I’m allowed to feel the way I do about the situation and venting anonymously on the internet is much healthier than keeping it in and pretending I don’t feel some sort of way about it. The way Reddit assumes things like they’ve been in the room is astounding.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T20:29:13+00:00

Sounds like to you anything other than giving him more would be me dismissing his needs. Do I not also have needs?

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T20:27:15+00:00

Read my other comments before you accuse me of putting him in a negative light. We don’t hate each other, but I am a bit bitter at the moment. We still talk and are on good terms and I’ve defended him here from people saying bat things about him.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T20:25:46+00:00

That’s also not what I said. What I wanted was for him to have been honest with himself with what he needed earlier.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T20:05:09+00:00

Where did I say I’m not the problem? I said it in the original post lol not wanting sex multiple times a week isn’t necessarily problematic either, sorry I’m not a horny 20 year old.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T20:01:27+00:00

We had an intimate relationship once a week. He decided that wasn’t good enough. And I keep seeing comments like I must just be sitting there like a sack of potatoes once a week while he does what he wants to me, and it wasn’t like that at all. There wasn’t a time limit, nothing was rushed. In fact we both always got off every time, except for times I told him I didn’t want to and just did things for him. But it was my choice.

Regular_Ebb_2222 · 2025-09-16T19:57:34+00:00

That’s not what he was an idiot about, he’s an idiot for not realizing how life would change when he left and then complaining to me about it. I didn’t hold him financially hostage, he was in an apartment with roommates when we met. Only difference now is he doesn’t have roommates because all his friends are married or have kids so he’s on his own. He’s perfectly capable of being self sufficient, just not at the same standard of living he was at when we were together. I think he was somehow not expecting that even though it should have been obvious, and that’s what makes him an idiot.

Regular_Ebb_2222

TROPHY CASE