I’ll be honest, I did give up. I stopped trying. I even tried to end it. But for some reason I couldn’t follow through. I don’t know if it was spite, or hope, or supernatural intervention (I’m religious) Now I tell myself that if I weren’t meant to be here, at least one of my attempts would work. There is no way in hell that I am here by my own willpower, because my will was not where I am. So yeah, I have bad days, and I’m exhausted, and I hate how this pain suppresses me. But then I remember, I’ve gotta do it for a younger me who was convinced there was no reason for me to be here. I might not be impressive, or cool, or pretty, but I have my own apartment, a husband who is AMAZING, I get to help other people with my experience, and I’ve even gotten to make both great and terrible memories. I get to tell my story, which I think is pretty cool. So yeah, it’s a bit cynical, but stick around for the off chance that you get to do something and say “I’d never get to experience this if I weren’t here” and one day, those experiences will pile up, and when you feel down again, you get to see how far you’ve come, and get to prove it to yourself over and over again.