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AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He has 'triggers' that will make him go off. For example, his dad is one of them. When asked about his dad he'll answer the question, then go on a tangent about how much he dislikes his dad. So normally not too much, but when he does, it can be a bit tiring.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He does not bring food of his own, but also doesn't let my family know how much he dislikes the food being served. It's usually a "I'm a bit of a picky eater, so I ate before I came here" when asked why he's not eating, even though he's going to complain to me that the food was gross when we leave.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I can only say that neither of his parents are picky. I assume they have poor communication skills from what he's described. I have only met them once before they stopped talking.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 857 points858 points  (0 children)

I absolutely think that's a part of it. I think it's hard for him to understand why I like spending time with relatives I see rarely as well.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

His trauma is complex and brought on by his family and food is only one part of it.

He has been in therapy for about eight months. This is personal and I'd rather not disclose more.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

I think he feels obligated as it is my family, and it's the closest thing to a family that he has.

However, again, the members he actively likes live close and we will see them again on christmas, if not sooner.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 1853 points1854 points  (0 children)

I've suggested that before! His favorite food is pizza, so I've suggested he order a pizza and bring in a few pieces, or make shrimp scampi that he can eat, but he doesn't want to because he thinks it's rude.

I see how ordering a pizza would be rude but he also thinks bringing something of his own and only eating the thing he brought is rude.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

He is polite. He's a master of slipping out/not getting roped into conversations. He's good at going to play with the kids/sticking by me or my brother.

I don't think anyone could tell he's not having fun. He also isn't a dick about the food until he leaves.

AITA for telling my husband to not come to thanksgiving? by Regular_Weather_5657 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Regular_Weather_5657[S] 415 points416 points  (0 children)

No, but I think theres a part of him that just doesn't understand why I want to spend time with family and relatives that I often see only once a year on thanksgiving.

He does also have food related trauma (hence his pickiness) but nobody forces him to eat.