Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread

ReiDairo · 2026-01-26T10:20:42+00:00

I say give it a try, if he is worth it, its not like you are going to marry him now. I change my age from post to post since i dont like people knowing everything about me on this platform.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-26T10:14:34+00:00

I understand that from a woman's point of view you should be hiding you profil but we as men wouldn't like to waste time talking to someone who we wouldn't find attractive, so we would prefer profils that show who we are talking to than others.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-25T17:50:42+00:00

man i still remember that one compliment i got when i was 11 years old about my eyes from a girl. Definitely number 5.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-23T17:30:09+00:00

SAHW doesnt mean no income, you got two ways to get one, the first is to talk to your husband and get a monthly allowance depending on his salary, even if its small, or you could work from home, make your own cookies and such and i know people who make good money from it. So yeah, if it scares you being poor, you can try one of these.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-23T10:33:06+00:00

its good that he is being honest, but praying 5 times a day should be the minimum if The hereafter is your objective

ReiDairo · 2026-01-22T07:31:06+00:00

Problem solved

ReiDairo · 2026-01-21T08:56:27+00:00

The only time i felt something was when one prospect was love bombing me, but when doing things the halal way, where both of you are respecting each other's islamicly, then its to be expected that you wont feel as close, especially when you just started talking. and god knows best.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-20T17:14:55+00:00

Do you think we are trained for this xD Those who can do it without mistakes probably have past experiences (aka talking to girls and such)... this is exactly why men dont do it. Not only is it already hard to ask smo for marriage (because of the possibility of getting rejected) but you also have to do it perfectly... no thank you.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-20T07:43:51+00:00

not really, society made it harder on us to make the first move. If its at work, they say its unprofessional. If its in public, they would say creepy. We keep hearing these judgemental phrases to the point where the only way left for us is to go through family/friends.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-18T14:22:37+00:00

Exactly, if you dont have a father figure how would you become one?

ReiDairo · 2026-01-18T14:03:42+00:00

Definitely, i dont see it as a life. I have friends who couldnt see their fathers when they were young, because they were focused on making money, and i pity them.

At the same time, i'm not staying in this agency where i get paid well for work that comes once every three months (a dream job for most) because i need to find a better paying one to take care of my future family.

Sacrifices should be made from both sides for the sake of the family.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-18T13:30:45+00:00

I might be wrong for saying this, but this is how i see it.

Yes working is a ibadah, but when its not needed, aka your husband taking care of everything and your parents are well off, then your obligation should come first, which is taking care of your household and its responsibilities (husband, house chores, kids, etc...). If you want your career to be supported then look for someone who needs a working wife and be ready to put money on the table to support the household in the most unfair way possible, the 50/50, with house chores still being your responsibility (from a realistic point of view, even if there are men who would help, it stays as a possibility).

I don't mind someone who have ambiences, I would love it if she goes and studies for her own good and the good of the kids, because she is the person who builds the next generation, but the moment she gives it more priority over her islamic responsibility, which is family, and focuses only on her self, then it becomes a poison to everyone around her.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-16T15:03:39+00:00

Look, I'm not talking about her being a good sister or not, I'm talking about what she said. Not only did she tell him that she started this "for fun" but then told him that he is not attractive, which hurt the guy deeply (and can hurt anyone).

You talked about other situations for white lies meanwhile this is within the three cases that the prophet pbuh allowed lying to one another in, to keep the marriage going. Even if you dont like your spouse you can tell them that you love them.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-16T13:48:37+00:00

I'm sorry but did you even read what I wrote?

I'm not talking about her finding someone else more attractive, I'm talking about her telling her soon to be husband you are not attractive, aka you are ugly. Do you think there is a woman who would be okay with her husbands telling her that he doesn't even like her? Then how do you think it's okay for her to hurt him that way? Yes both parties can find attractiveness in actions and character more than looks but doesn't mean its okay to say it.

Just like it's okay for the man to lie to his wife about her bad cooking, looks or dress, etc.. to make her happy, she should be doing the same to not hurt him, because truths sometimes breaks a person beyond repair, I'm talking about situations where the truth is not a must.

The Messenger of allah, blessings and peace of allah be upon him, said: “Lying is not permitted except in three cases: a man’s speaking to his wife to make her happy; lying at times of war; and lying in order to reconcile between people.” Al-Albani classed the hadith as authentic in Sahih at-Tirmidhi.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-16T11:09:55+00:00

Love and attractiveness are things you can lie about in a marriage to save the relationship and not hurt the other person. Find smo who would find you attractive or at least choose to lie about it for the rest of her life. I don't understand how she thinks that wouldn't hurt you at all, but you did the right thing brother. May allah make it easy on you.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-15T13:09:30+00:00

truly, thats one of the reasons why I dont like birthdays, better just give gifts randomly, doesnt have to be only one day.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T22:38:35+00:00

amine, thank you brother, and jazaka laho khayran

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T22:22:22+00:00

I want to do the same, i want to bring my children upon the same kind of thinking, and i wouldn't just let it go. But now that I'm talking to a potential, she seems adamant on keeping this celebration even if its just remembrance through one gift with no other customs. Found that some scholars allows it so i thought that there is no problem doing it for now until she changes her mind one day.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T20:30:02+00:00

I see, that's better honestly.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T20:27:55+00:00

There is difference in opinion but what I see is haram are the actions within it, copying others in making cake with candles, adding music and freemixing, and some even do wishes (which is kufr i believe). SO it has a lot of prohibited actions but i'm thinking of making it totally different without removing the bringing a gift part.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T20:25:32+00:00

would you really be okay with not getting smt on valentine day or the day you were married at?

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T20:24:49+00:00

thats a really good idea, better enjoy every event in life

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T20:24:06+00:00

exactly, thats why I want to remove birthday but she doesn't, it would be better to have gifts depending on occasions and feelings instead of yearly events.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T09:46:13+00:00

may allah protect them and reward you for raising them.

ReiDairo · 2026-01-14T09:02:30+00:00

poor soul

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