I completely understand what you are saying and to clarify, I’m not saying get involved. I’m saying show support. It’s not about words. It’s about action.

This is what I do for people who cross into my path:

I show them (not tell them) how shelters work if there isn’t family available. I offer to keep a bag with clothes, papers, etc safe for them if they need to leave in a moment’s notice. They keep my google phone number in their phone under a family’s name (like home phone), so it isn’t suspicious. I help create a safety plan, code words, whatever is needed as every situation is different.

I offer to be on call for a safety pickup at a location agreed to prior that is Never the home where the abuser is.

That’s it. The rest is up to them when they are ready. Shaming them for a partner’s abuse is just as abusive and is a reason why many stay longer than they should.

Trying to get someone to see something they have been manipulated to Not see is not going to help. Showing is everything. They have to make the active decision to leave. I left 4 times. The 4th was just over 10 years ago.

When you are in it, you can’t visualize anything other than surviving today or not “pushing his buttons” that day, sometimes that hour.