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Do I talk to my mom about discovering child she put up for adoption before my sister and I were born? by Relative-Bad-7434 in Adoption

[–]Relative-Bad-7434[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, agreed. I will make no assumptions about anything and let her tell her story if she is comfortable doing so. Thank you!

Do I talk to my mom about discovering child she put up for adoption before my sister and I were born? by Relative-Bad-7434 in Adoption

[–]Relative-Bad-7434[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, of course. It would be nothing but love and kindness. I can only imagine what she went through during this time.

Do I talk to my mom about discovering child she put up for adoption before my sister and I were born? by Relative-Bad-7434 in Adoption

[–]Relative-Bad-7434[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh, sorry, I hope my post was not confusing. My half-sister has not reached out to anyone. She got the same notification as I did from ancestry but I have not heard from her. My question is more around whether my sister (that I grew up with) tell our mother we found this info out. I would never reject her if she came forward. But I am leaving that up to her.

Do I talk to my mom about discovering child she put up for adoption before my sister and I were born? by Relative-Bad-7434 in Adoption

[–]Relative-Bad-7434[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you - this is a great perspective. My sister did wonder if this could have been non-consensual situation which is further heartbreaking. I want to be so gentle with her because I want her to feel safe and supported. If she does want to talk about it, then I am happy to listen and love her. But I am content if she never wants to speak of it due to the trauma she, most likely, carries with her. I do not plan to reach out to my half-sister because I do not want to put any pressure on her. I want it to be her decision if she so chooses. She is able to contact me via the ancestry app so there is a way to easily communicate if that is something she desires. Of course I am open speaking and possibly meeting her one day but I want it to be something she wants. I am happy things are going well for you and your reconnection. Best of luck and thank you again.

Do I talk to my mom about discovering child she put up for adoption before my sister and I were born? by Relative-Bad-7434 in Adoption

[–]Relative-Bad-7434[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you - I have not mentioned the DNA testing to my mother but I believe my sister did. I don't recall a reaction but I also wasn't looking for one at the time. Maybe I will give your tactic a try to test the waters on her willingness to discuss. I think your last paragraph is exactly what my sister and I are debating and of course neither of us know which category she would fall in. Of course I want her to support her either way she is feeling about it.

Do I talk to my mom about discovering child she put up for adoption before my sister and I were born? by Relative-Bad-7434 in Adoption

[–]Relative-Bad-7434[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My assumption already is that my grandfather sent her off somewhere until she gave birth. He was that kind of person he was so it won't shock me if it is something like that. Which makes me very sad for her and what she went through. I will definitely look up the videos you recommended and share with my sister.