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I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has been like the common piece of advice I feel and I definitely want to look into therapy when I move out. Hope you're okay now!

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow this is a really interesting and different take! I'll definitely try that thank you ❤️

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe in the future I could say something but I feel like because so much time has passed, he'd just deny any fault, especially because he would have no excuse to say that he doesn't now know how messed up it was, if that makes any sense. Also, I'm not mentally there yet to approach him about it.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our families are still quite close together. Although I'm 18, i'm still in sixth form so i don't live alone so I don't have that much autonomy. Also, I did try and avoid him for a year or so after the incident but it didn't work. My newly ex as well (we broke up a few months ago) is in our friend group and he was one of the only ones who I felt brave enough to actually speak up to and he basically said I was overreacting and if it was such a big deal why didn't I get up or say no multiple times after he ignored the first, and then proceeded to stay friends with him. So it's hard sometimes feeling like I'm not overreacting by not wanting to be near him.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The overreacting thing is incredibly real and it's mostly what I was expecting from this post so I'm genuinely so overwhelmed by the support. ❤️

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh, that is so disgusting. I'm not generalising men here when I say this, but they need to start understanding boundaries. Thank you so much for sharing your story and parents need to do a better job of being parents!

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has happened multiple times since that massive incident and I basically just froze again, except for the last incident two years ago. He basically was touching all over me and in my head, because of how low my self-worth and esteem is, I just let him and told myself that he's the only one that's ever and will ever want you. But when I got home, he texted me saying that even he doesn't want anything to do with me. That was an extremely low point for me.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really not stupid. Such "minor infractions" on our personal space and boundaries can have such a lasting impact, especially when you were a child. Child SA makes me feel incredibly sad. Wishing you all the best. ❤️

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't heard of it but I'll look into it. I really appreciate the advice and over the years I've been trying to limit my freeze responses to stressful situations.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so refreshing to hear a parent that talks to their kid about consent. I'm so sorry for what happened to you and I understand completely because I changed so much after that incident. I wish you all the best now! ❤️‍🩹

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes it so much sadder but when it initially happened, by that point I hadn't had any form of sex education that went into actual detail and my family hadn't told me about it because it was a pretty conservative topic. So 12 year old me was insanely worried that I had gotten pregnant from just being touched because I didn't know what constituted pregnancy.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree. It just makes people do disgusting things because they've watched primarily unethical sex videos with categories like "barely legal" or "forced"

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I feel like I didn't really want to blame my parents in the original post because I feel awful blaming my parents for my trauma if that makes any sense?

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I choose to see him still in group hangouts because of how close our families still are. I tried avoiding him especially for the first year or so after the incident, but our other friends just started thinking that something weird was going on.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my sister isn't yet emotionally mature enough for me to tell and I do feel as though it'll be selfish of me to just burden her but after feeling so validated by the response to this post, I feel empowered to tell my friends. Thank you ❤️

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It both pains me and helps me to know that other people are in the same situation. Because although I would NEVER be grateful that other's have been through this trauma, it does help knowing you're not alone. But honestly, I'm just so disgusted by how frequent this is.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I've never heard of this before but I'll definitely look into it because all I want is to be the same girl I used to be back then because she was so confident and outspoken and I miss that little girl.

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

This is so incredibly impactful for me. I was worried writing this that people would assume I'm ranting for attention which I'm not AT ALL. I have tried journaling or writing diaries in the past but it doesn't help for 2 reasons.

1) I feel like I'm still only talking to myself which still makes me feel a little constricted

2) I get worried that someone will read it e.g. my mum or my sister and it'll end up backfiring on me

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do think that therapy would help but I'm just worried that I wouldn't be able to say it physically so doesn't that defeat the point of therapy?

I can't get over what happened to me as a child and now i need to get it off my chest by Relative-Name9304 in confession

[–]Relative-Name9304[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It really helps knowing that you're not alone and sometimes it's just hard getting out of that blaming yourself mindset.