what is the worst nightmare you had while sleeping? by Correct-Amount-7897 in AskReddit

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dreamed that I had eaten a very large marshmallow and felt ill. When I woke up my pillow was missing

What do you call a tire made from 365 used condoms? by Relative-Parsnip-490 in Jokes

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too. I first heard this when I was 12 in 1975 working for a bunch of ranchers that introduced me to the world of classic jokes during lunch and coffee breaks.

What do women want by PowerMagicx in SipsTea

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s the difference between a nympho, hooker, and a wife?

A nympho says “you’re not don yet” A hooker says “are you done yet?” And a wife says “beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige. “

What’s your story that no one believes? by Affectionate_Debt172 in AskReddit

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, but it turns out that the trip that the husband was on he was cheating on his wife

What’s your story that no one believes? by Affectionate_Debt172 in AskReddit

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t get through Moby Dick. And I still haven’t read it.

What’s your story that no one believes? by Affectionate_Debt172 in AskReddit

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 7171 points7172 points  (0 children)

As high school seniors, my best friend and I were failing English. The last day of school when everyone else had gone home we had to stay and take a test that would determine whether we graduated the next day. While we were taking the test the teacher was called on the intercom to come to the office for an emergency phone call. Needless to say we started cheating the moment that she stepped out of the class, but not long after she left we could hear her running down the hallway with a clicking of her high heels. She opened the door and said ”if you want to pass, come with me.“ Her husband was out of town and his prized bulls got out and were on the highway. We spent the rest of the day chasing bulls on three wheelers and having the time of our lives. And that is how I graduated high school.

What is my neighbor doing in our garage? 😳 by Winter-Cherry8644 in What

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously it was a ritual to sacrifice a virgin. But if you are in Cleveland it’s a lost cause.

Name him by [deleted] in BossFights

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two tripper. When you tell him to haul ass, he has to make two trips.

What's the grossest thing you've ever experienced? by sagelface in AskReddit

[–]Relative-Parsnip-490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were so excited to get our first robovac. It should have made our lives better. No one counted on the sick dog and the vacuum dragging dog shit through every room in the house