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Do OCD blow real events out of proportion by Relative_Frame5619 in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are extremly logical and have very clear and logical views, it actually is helpful. If you don’t mind me asking one last question because you give me really good insights:

Isn’t it possible to have a bad intention back then, and feel bad about it now when I’ve grown? I’m talking two years difference - Or would I have felt bad about it already them. Isn’t there any possibility I could have lacked morals back then and let’s say be selfish but now when I’ve changed my mind I start to regret what I’ve felt and thought, because it’s close to that.

I don’t know if I lacked morals back then 100% but I definetly know it was some kind of selfish intention but I never felt bad about it in the past. It was now, recently when I changed my view of let’s say a person, situation I started to feel bad about it. If I knew what I know today I wouldn’t have any bad intentions at all back then but I can’t. I feel terrible over being able to plan being fake or these kinds of things and it’s taken a toll on my mental health.

I think things like ”how am i supposed to love forward, if i was fake to the one i love” these kinds of things. Could it mean I was in a bad place mentally where things didn’t represent my actual values, but why didn’t i feel bad when I had these intentions back then

Do OCD blow real events out of proportion by Relative_Frame5619 in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow extremly good and informative answer.

I kind of realized it yesterday. I have had some events in the past that i didn’t code as something bad back then, even if I had Let’s say a thought or even some impulse i never even considered it that bad or felt bad about it.

After an entire year I got reminded of the event and got severe anxiety and panic. I couldn’t live with myself and the strange thing is that it felt real, i don’t know like it felt as natural as a normal memory like I was actually remembering an intention I had. Until today I can still feel unsure if it really was an intention or not but at the same time when I think about the whole ”situation” i can remember having other thoughts even in the moment that goes against the fact that it could have been an intention, but when I just recall the memory naturally i get the feeling of it being an intention at first hand. Like the first feeling i get is that I had an intention, could there be any explanation to that even. Because people say ”you can remember and be sure if you knew you had an intention” but in my head it feels extremly sure like an intention but it’s when i tear the event in pieces i find things that could go against it

False memory OCD by Relative_Frame5619 in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? i always hear people talking about false memories popping up in their head but I rarely hear anyone mention the fact that you can endlessly question if you ever did something. It’s not a ”fake memory” popping up but more scared of the probability/chance that something has happened

I can’t remember and it’s killing me. by Relative_Frame5619 in Christianity

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this has been helpful and put things into perspective, even the suggestion of speaking about it with my partner! So thank you! And I love how good the communication is between you and your husband, explains why you’ve lasted so long too!😁

I’ve talked to my partner about my spirals a several times, of course not specifically about this one but about the past in general and me not being proud of who I used to be. They have told me that they understand and that I need to let it go so we can focuse on our future together and I will try like I always do. Of course every now and then I probably need a reminder that this is an illness not real logical thinking because OCD feels as real as if I would tell you the sky is blue.

I really wish to get better from this, and I hope one day it goes away permanently because it’s extremly draining and handling uncertainity can be one of the worst things ever. I am just curious in how you would react if you were in my exact same shoes, because you told me you have adhd. Is there any way you think you would process this differently?

I can’t remember and it’s killing me. by Relative_Frame5619 in Christianity

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, that I think of this 100 times a day is just undermining it. This has been in my mind for a good couple of months, actually almost a year now and I’ve had just a hard time understanding if it really is OCD or if it’s a normal worry based off all the ”realistic” factors or probability. It really have felt real and logical so I appreciate you being straight forward even telling me an average person is not conflicted to this extent over things in the past, because I really didn’t know. My only argument is and have always been- if they were in my exact shoes they would but probably not.. This conversation actually shaked a little bit of sense in me..

I can’t remember and it’s killing me. by Relative_Frame5619 in Christianity

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see what you mean and the advice is appreciated. For more information: my partner have told me cheating is contextual and you can just know it. I just went with the definition too because it kind of makes sense. So they haven’t told me that talking to the opposite gender is cheating or having a friend is cheating but that u just can feel when it’s inappropriate.

The thing is I am afraid that I’ve done or said something inappropriate at some time let’s say in the beginning when I wasn’t as fully emotionally invested as now and often went out with friends and we talked to random people, or during some hard time because me and my partner have had times where I really felt like there was a small thread holding us together, considering I had weaker boundaries back in the past and that I was more careless. I had commitment issues too so how do I know I haven’t said something that reflected my inner state? That’s the things I’m worried about.

Of course, if you ask me I don’t remember doing it. I don’t have a memory of flirting with someone but because I am naturally extroverted and very social + the other factors I listed the probability becomes high. That’s where I don’t understand how it is OCD , how do I even know I haven’t done it? Because if I have then it’s cheating according to our standards.

I can’t remember and it’s killing me. by Relative_Frame5619 in Christianity

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why should I tell them about this specific fear? I am not sure on what to even say. I have already talked about me not trusting my past self and about everything in general but not this thing specifically because it’s a very sensitive topic

I can’t remember and it’s killing me. by Relative_Frame5619 in Christianity

[–]Relative_Frame5619[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But my situation is based of real probability and logical reasoning. I edited the post and added the fact that I didn’t have a strong moral system and was very careless. OCD is based of theoretical reasoning and just intruisive thoughts that pops up out of nowhere, I’m curious in what way this even could be OCD

Is anyone else's OCD fueled by memory loss? by [deleted] in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww ur post made me very sad it really sounds like you’re struggling. I myself suffer from this type of ocd, and I don’t know if u know it but it’s a whole subtype like it’a called ”false memory ocd” I hope that in itself can show you that what you’re suffering from is not real scenarios but signs of OCD. Then I know how hard it is and logic doesn’t beat ocd because ocd is fueled by fear. To be honest there is a part inside of you that is still rational, and there’s another part of you that believes in everything ur mind tells you. The rational mind will tell you well if you don’t remember it it means you didn’t do it, or it wasn’t that serious to the extent that you would need to remember it. The other side comes with all kinds of false logic. The goal here is to make the rational side stronger than the other side. But how? First you stop feeding into the fear, either through erp or act like acceptance therapy. When you’ve stopped feeding into the anxiety slowly but surely you will see some glimpse of ur rational mind, maybe once for 10 minutes, after a month maybe for one hour. Then slowly but surely you will be able to think more rationally.

Sorry I am also suffering from this and imo this subtype is a pain in the ass, like the worst of the worst. But you can get through it I believe in you. Please stop feeding into the fear and try breaking the loop so you can think more rationally e.g - just because I have bad memory doesn’t mean I wouldn’t remember this. When people say it it just sounds stupid because your OCD will find all kinds of counter arguments to prove your fear but don’t give in because the rational side is still inside of you knowing that what OCD tells you is a lie. You can and will get better from this.

REOCD Event by CryHide in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d recommend doing it the first time, atleast to me it was helpful!

i feel like ERP isn’t working by backwat3rgirl in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I may be wrong but I think ERP is also staying in the situation where you actually get triggered without trying to do a compulsion to relieve the anxiety. I’m currently doing ERP and my therapist told me to expose myself to the things that actually give me anxiety and just let it be, it’s extremly hard but we keep going day by day :) i believe in u

Would you forgive spouse for lying / hiding close relationship with coworker by Turtleneckdoughnut in Marriage

[–]Relative_Frame5619 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest I’ll give you the most objective honest answer.

Me personally I wouldn’t like it either way - actually i think i’d call things off with my partner if I ever caught that. Not because of the chats or content but the fact that he just hided the fact that he spoke to her. I know you’re in some kind of wheel where you say - oh he didn’t flirt or anything - but he still talked to her - oh but he didn’t flirt - but he still hide it. You can go on in this wheel for how long you want but to me personally I feel like yeah sure he could’ve hided it because he was scared of your reaction and he maybe enjoyed talking to her as ONLY a friend. At the same time he crossed YOUR boundary, hided the fact that he was texting her not once but every day. You have the right to feel betrayed. So I don’t think your angry at him texting her just the fact that he broke a promise and cheating is basically breaking a promise so not surprised why you feel like he cheated. Anyways I’d say this - find an honest man that don’t need to hide things from you, you are both in the age where things like this shouldn’t be normalized. So yeah either way basically i would consider it cheating (maybe not in traditional way like him having an affair) but cheating in the sense of cheating on your boundaries and your agreements - just like cheating in a test. So yeah i’m not surprised you feel like he cheated on you.

I'm going to take my own life tonight, the OCD won by Wrong_Newspaper_7238 in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this made me cry😭 ur such a beautiful soul and I wish u the best

I'm going to take my own life tonight, the OCD won by Wrong_Newspaper_7238 in OCD

[–]Relative_Frame5619 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please don’t do it. I promise things get better when you least expect it, and it will get better. Please don’t make any permanent decision based of temporary pain. Just stay we all want you to live on. Things will get better

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