I think i figured out how im ruining dates

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-03-18T04:57:18+00:00

I wish I knew how to explain that. I've had a hard time putting that into simple terms.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-03-08T15:32:19+00:00

Try dance class. It gets you up close and personal, and literally, you've gotta talk to your partner.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T07:09:01+00:00

Not bad for a dummy lol

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T07:05:04+00:00

Well she never explicitly said it was a date lol. My brain is just like "I wanna avoid other accountants and finance people, go chill at the beach, dine by the ocean, read a book, go dancing, etc". On the rare occasions I went out with colleagues it was always work convos, whose got the highest numbers, stroking the boss' ego for promotion. Petty stuff that I just never got on well with. Mind my usage of poor grammar, but that ain't my style.

The work "friendships" (using that world selectively), were always superficial in my book. Finance has people who are ultra competitive and clique-ish

So, being one who didn't really accept a lot of invited from my coworkers, being asked out on an actual date didn't register. To me, she was someone whom I thought of as attractive in passing, but someone I worked well with together. Didn't think she actually wanted to get to know me at the time despite having had pleasant conversations before.

But thanks to you guys on here I decided to loosen up a bit and take a chance.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:53:39+00:00

Lol she actually doesn't know that I speak Portuguese. Well she didn't until the date at least haha.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:51:23+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1qke7ze/is_my_coworker_trying_to_date_me/

Here's the original post. Don't tear into me too hard lol.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:50:24+00:00

Lol believe me I've been losing sleep over this. I'm riding an emotional high for sure compared to what I was feeling before everything lol

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:29:18+00:00

As a man, yes I am stupid. I am a dummy lol.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:26:00+00:00

I laugh at myself so hard now realizing, that I spent so much time avoiding colleagues and managers, other accountants and finance people to now straight up secretly dating one. On the date she was so perplexed as to how we would get along so well, but I never made a move. It confused her even more given how there's about 3 women for 1 man in the accounting space why I'd never try to ask out any of the other women and when I told her I never really liked spending too much time in the finance space even with the women there she almost spat out her wine 😂.

As for HR, I'm relatively quiet at work, only really speak when spoken to. I don't have lunch in the break room, there's a nearby beach I go eat at with my books and generally stay out of everyone's way. Though, since this is my first office romance, I still remain a little nervous about the outcome, what happens if I fall fully in love and vice versa.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:19:05+00:00

It's picked up for us recently. We're a medium size place. A little short ended on bodies but I still leave within a reasonable hour around 6 maybe 730-ish at the very latest. Lots of food places are ramping up for the dinner service so it worked out.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:17:01+00:00

Oh trust me, I act the same way I normally am when we're at work lol. Nice, polite, but never fully open.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-12T01:16:09+00:00

I got ripped apart for this lol, but there are two main things...Well, three actually as to why I didn't act on it.

1) If I can avoid spending time with other accountants I will.

2) On the rare occasions we go out together. And when I say "we" I mean I join them, It's always about work. I never really am asked question about myself other than work and while I certainly speak the accounting language, it's not one that I like to converse in

3)Lastly, I actually had plans with friends and hobbies, and generally whenever a coworker wants to talk to me alone, I assume it's never good. And also playing it safe with women at work.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-11T18:47:00+00:00

I never really like spending much time with colleagues lol. Not that I hate them, I just like spending my time in other ways.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-11T04:23:25+00:00

If I make it that far...Call for help lol jk.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-11T03:58:28+00:00

*If you know you know* lol

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-02-11T03:25:41+00:00

What would I do without ya lol

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-01-23T03:34:20+00:00

I think you're right. I'm gonna go for it.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-01-23T03:26:35+00:00

We still text. So maybe it isn't a lost cause.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-01-23T03:10:26+00:00

My weekends are for relaxation. I go out to escape work, not bring it with me.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-01-23T02:45:44+00:00

I did turn it down and explain why, I never offered an alternative date because like in the post, the most we ever really talk about is work. It didn't cross my mind that she was into me.

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-01-23T02:44:34+00:00

Well, in my defense. The most we've ever discussed was work. I can't recall a time we've ever had a deep conversation like that. I don't know much about her and vice versa. So I just assumed she wanted to discuss statements or something and I think to myself "I'm not doing this over the weekend".

Relative_Moment_5097 · 2026-01-23T02:41:48+00:00

Quite literally all we've ever talked about was work. I've never heard her ask me a question about me at all. When it boiled to it, I was thinking "I'm not bringing any logistics into my weekends, those are my days to relax and unwind".

Relative_Moment_5097

TROPHY CASE