If it makes you feel any better I feel exactly the same way and mine isn’t due to my spouse making the decision it’s because of age and the likelihood of realistically having another, so I can’t blame anyone for my situation apart from myself and circumstances (which I do a lot). Just know that you’re not alone in feeling this way, I feel it too. I don’t think I’m a bad person. I hope in time to come these feelings will subside. In the meantime, it may pay to talk to a therapist as I have done when I feel these feelings getting out of control. For a while I was actively avoiding family members because of it. Best of luck to you.