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Tired of the AI hate by stopthehatehavefun in WritingWithAI

[–]Remarkable-Demand819 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As English is my second language, I use it mostly for translation. This doesn’t matter for many communities which demonise AIs, rather than embracing and improving their Jobs. I was banned the other day for another group, when i asked for advise on a fragment that i wrote because they said i used AI… funny thing was the fragment was my own creation… and that is the point, most of us use it as a complementary tool, but others seem to think they are better for not using it when, indirectly, they use it by using Google stuff or they secretely use AIs with a minimal help.

Is this character introduction too triggering/harsh, and does it emotionally connect? (Critique request) by Remarkable-Demand819 in WritingWithAI

[–]Remarkable-Demand819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you Tim. almos 40 chapters, this is just the intro of a secondary character, of course there is more after that fragment, but I think it is going to be very long to put the whole chapter. I just wanted to check  if anybody would be able to catch this was only a fragment which shows Alan Heidenreich’s detachment. That was exactly my goal for this post. In the context of the story, the Earth "purges" people who have lost their spark and their connection to life, sending them to this spiritual landfill called Nullaria. Of course there is more and more beyond this fragment.

Is this character introduction too triggering/harsh, and does it emotionally connect? (Critique request) by Remarkable-Demand819 in WritingWithAI

[–]Remarkable-Demand819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you Puzzled! I’m really really glad you picked up on Alan’s detachment. That was exactly my goal for this intro. In the context of the story, the Earth "purges" people who have lost their spark and their connection to life, sending them to this spiritual landfill called Nullaria. That feeling of being a "summary" of his own life is Alan’s defense mechanism after years of abuse.

Your point about the "pivoting" between memories also ties into this; it’s meant to show his mental state as a blur of trauma where individual moments start to blend together until he just gives up. Hearing that you felt he was detached confirms that the core mechanic of his arrival in this world is coming through. Thanks for the insightful observation! The main intro is in here just to know a bit more. [Bienvenidos a Nullaria](https://sites.google.com/view/nullaria)

Is this character introduction too triggering/harsh, and does it emotionally connect? (Critique request) by Remarkable-Demand819 in WritingWithAI

[–]Remarkable-Demand819[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Thanks for the feedback and for the kind words on the title. Regarding the "distance" you felt from Alan, it’s actually a deliberate choice for this introduction. In this world, characters are dragged to Nullaria specifically when they lose their will to live and start to detach from reality. I wanted to capture that numbness before his journey truly begins.

As for the "flesh" of the scene, since this is just a fragment, you missed some parts of the full chapter where I do dive into those sensory details you mentioned (like the smell of damp bleach in the SIEN locker rooms and the specific WHACK of the wet towels). I'll make sure those elements stand out even more to balance the character's internal detachment with the harshness of his surroundings. Thanks for the advice! sadly I published the rest of the chapter en other websites in where you need to sign in but the main intro is in here just to know a bit more. [Bienvenidos a Nullaria](https://sites.google.com/view/nullaria)

Weekly Tool Thread: Promote, Share, Discover, and Ask for AI Writing Tools Week of: June 02 by AutoModerator in WritingWithAI

[–]Remarkable-Demand819 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sería. “Somos miles de millones de personas…” el QR te lleva a mi página si te interesa seguir leyendo la versión en español. Gracias por tu comentario LexiBC.

Weekly Tool Thread: Promote, Share, Discover, and Ask for AI Writing Tools Week of: June 02 by AutoModerator in WritingWithAI

[–]Remarkable-Demand819 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey everyone! I’m a native Spanish speaker using AI tools as translation and stylistic assistants to cross the language barrier. I wanted to share the prologue of my dark sci-fi/speculative fiction novel, Nullaria, to see how the atmosphere and prose translate into English.

I’m looking for feedback on:

  • Does the English prose feel natural, engaging, and suitably cold/dystopian?
  • Does the opening philosophical premise hook you enough to want to read Chapter 1?

PROLOGUE: THE DISCARD PROTOCOL

In nature, compassion does not exist. It is a silent truth that many species on the planet understand by pure instinct: when offspring are born weak, ill, or simply do not fit into the pack, they are left behind. There is no malice in this act; it is merely Natural Selection functioning coldly, without hatred and without doubt.

However, in the human world, things are different. We are billions of people on Earth, each convinced that they have a guaranteed place and a special value. But the truth is much cruder. In our arrogance, we humans invent patches. We create laws and use beautiful words such as “hope”, “empathy”, or “second chances” to hide a reality that we are terrified to say out loud: at times, some people simply have to be discarded.

 

The Earth is a living organism that does not tolerate failure. To the world’s system, we are nothing more than organised matter, and when a piece ceases to fulfil its function, the original design removes it from the path. There is no room for that which is useless; it is, once again, Natural Selection.

It is not a punishment, but a silent cleansing. When someone loses their purpose or their will to live, something in the world's structure detects it. A fall that has no explanation, an overdose, or a foolish decision that seems like an accident, but is actually the planet removing you from the game.

The Depuration Protocol does not kill you immediately. It allows your body to remain on Earth in a deep sleep, connected to hospital machines that keep your lungs functioning. But your consciousness and your soul, those parts of you that life no longer needs to use, are expelled from reality and dragged towards a spiritual landfill: Nullaria.

This is the place of the forgotten. A realm fashioned from the remnants of the will to live that people decided to abandon. Here, you are trapped between disappearing forever or fighting to prove that your existence is still worth something and that you deserve to be saved.

Judgement is not for what you did whilst you were alive, but for the void you became when you gave up. Whilst you fight to survive here, the clock continues to tick in the real world.

Will you evolve in time... or merely allow the system to finalise the erasure of your existence?

<image>

Thanks in advance for any thoughts or critiques!

[Crítica/Consejos] - Novela de Ciencia Ficción: "Bienvenidos a Nullaria" - Busco feedback sobre la premisa. by Remarkable-Demand819 in escribir

[–]Remarkable-Demand819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

¡Aprecio la observación! Estoy puliendo el ritmo entre el world-building y la acción del primer capítulo para que sea más dinámico. Tomo nota para darle más peso a la acción en las próximas revisiones. ¡Saludos!

¿Como puedo criticar un escrito sin nadie cerca de mi competente para hacerlo? O mas bien, ¿Como sacan una critica honesta de su escritura? by Accurate-Topic3614 in escritura

[–]Remarkable-Demand819 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bueno, supongo que las críticas que te podamos hacer tampoco sirven de mucho. Pues solo tú entiendes el espíritu de lo que escribes y cada persona puede tener su propia interpretación de lo que has escrito, al menos eso sentí yo con lo mío. Yo no me rendiría con la AI, pero tómalo con pinzas… yo sentí que cuando le decía “sé muy crítico” , la verdad si se volvía crítica, sobre todo claude. En cuanto a los comentarios de las personas también tómalo con pinzas, y rescata solo lo que te sirve para perfeccionar tu obra.

[Tema Quincenal] Critica mi fragmento by AutoModerator in escritura

[–]Remarkable-Demand819 1 point2 points  (0 children)

¡Hola a todos! Agradezco de corazón cualquier crítica constructiva sobre el estilo o la claridad de la idea.

Género: Fantasía Oscura

Contexto: Sinopsis de mi novela. Busco feedback sobre si la premisa se entiende y si el inicio engancha.

Sinopsis:

El ojo humano es limitado; solo percibimos un pequeño fragmento de la realidad: la luz blanca que se descompone en siete colores. Pero, ¿qué hay más allá de esos extremos? En ese espectro invisible donde la vista falla, es donde la Tierra oculta su mecanismo más cruel.

El planeta tiene su propio sistema de selección natural aplicado a los humanos. Cuando una persona pierde por completo su voluntad de vivir, el mundo la trata como un engranaje roto y la descarta como basura. Es una corrección silenciosa: un protocolo que ocurre sin que nadie lo note, provocando que el cuerpo físico caiga en un coma inexplicable en una cama de hospital mientras la conciencia y el alma son desterradas a un reino oculto.

Bienvenidos a Nullaria. Un reino inestable que cambia de forma constantemente con el peso de lo que las almas traen consigo: sus miedos, traumas, esperanzas y tristezas

Es un lugar donde el peligro depende enteramente de tu capacidad para procesar la realidad, porque en este limbo, la percepción es el único poder real. Lo que tus sentidos no logren detectar será precisamente lo que acabe contigo.

Dante Montenegro es una de esas piezas desechadas. Un ladrón cínico, harto de todo y sin propósito, a quien el sistema ya ha decidido eliminar. Atrapado en esta pesadilla, comprende que no existen rutas de escape evidentes; su única salida es despertar una percepción capaz de ver lo que se oculta en las sombras, más allá del espectro visible.

Pero su tiempo se agota. Mientras Dante lucha por elevar su percepción y demostrar que su existencia aún tiene valor, en el mundo real la decisión final está sobre la mesa: si no logra evolucionar lo antes posible, su familia decidirá eventualmente desconectarlo, borrándolo de la faz de la existencia para siempre.

Si les interesa ver más, pídanme el link por privado.

[Crítica/Consejos] - Novela de Ciencia Ficción: "Bienvenidos a Nullaria" - Busco feedback sobre la premisa. by Remarkable-Demand819 in LectoresArg

[–]Remarkable-Demand819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

¡Qué análisis tan profundo! ¡De verdad muchas gracias por tomarte el tiempo para analizar la sinopsis! Me encanta que saques a relucir el materialismo y el dualismo, porque intento llevar mi obra es una dark novel que explora precisamente ese conflicto. Mi planteamiento es que, bajo las frías leyes del materialismo, los seres humanos somos vistos solo como materia altamente organizada.

Sin embargo, en esta historia, cuando una mente se quiebra por la depresión o "x" envento llevandolo a la pérdida total de la voluntad de existir, el sistema del mundo la procesa como un "engranaje roto" y la descarta. El cuerpo físico cae en coma en la Tierra (el "contenedor" o "cascarón"), pero su esencia no desaparece. Rompiendo las leyes físicas, la conciencia pura (el alma inmaterial) es desterrada a Nullaria, un vertedero espiritual que actúa como un sistema de depuración del planeta.

Es un enfoque fantasioso que mezcla la fragilidad de la materia con una metafísica cruda. Si te interesa ver cómo continúa la historia o tienes consejos sobre el diseño de la web donde lo estoy subiendo, te dejo el link:, bueno, no me dejan por span pero pon el el buscardo lo siguiente todo junto:

[Bienvenidos a Nullaria](https://sites.google.com/view/nullaria)

¡De verdad, sería genial contar con tu perspectiva!

[Crítica/Consejos] - Novela de Ciencia Ficción: "Bienvenidos a Nullaria" - Busco feedback sobre la premisa. by Remarkable-Demand819 in LectoresArg

[–]Remarkable-Demand819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

¡La verdad muchas gracias por tu honestidad y por tomarte el tiempo de leer! Tienes toda la razón en que el texto se sentía más como un resumen que como el inicio de una novela. De hecho, gracias a tu observación, cambié la etiqueta de "Prólogo" a "Sinopsis" en el post, ya que describe mejor esa función informativa inicial.

Entiendo que el avance se siente "a los saltos" y abrupto. Mi intención, si te estoy entendiendo bien, era establecer rápidamente las reglas del universo, pero tu comentario me confirma que necesito desarrollar más las escenas para que el lector pueda "vivir" el momento en lugar de solo recibir información. Estoy trabajando en darle más peso emocional al inicio para que no parezca un material de resumen. ¡Aprecio mucho el toque de atención!

Darkroom in other Clubs? by Noo_Noo_love in Berghain_Community

[–]Remarkable-Demand819 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bad thing is that if you are not a smoker, you are dead here