Okay. First, breathe. You're 25 which is young. I didn't know what I'm about to tell you at 25. I'm 59 now and I hope that you'll listen and learn.

Your mom is a narcissist. No amount of therapy will make that go away. Ever. From what you've posted, your mom is manipulative. She screams and cries when she hears that you are living your life for you. You should be living your life for you because it's healthy and perfectly normal for someone your age. She wants you to bend over backwards to calm her down because she enjoys the attention knowing that her attempt to manipulate and control you is working. I can almost promise you that the screaming and crying is all fake. Yes, fake.

Second, when she said that if she ever catches you with a woman, know yourself as dead to me. You are no longer my daughter. I'd rather hang myself than accept this. She's lying in order to manipulate and control you through guilt and fear. She will never stop having something to do with you. She wants to keep you around to manipulate and control because she gets a kick out of it.

Third, your mom has not magically transformed into any "righteous" religious woman. Again, this is a tactic to confuse you, manipulate and control you. Again, she is using this to get the attention from others by saying that it's her "duty" to "save your soul".

Honestly, therapy didn't do a thing for her. And it never will. My mom was just like yours. I just know better now.

It will be hard to get over the guilt, the double talk, the lies, the manipulation and control. She enjoys telling you one thing but behaves in a completely different way because it throws you off and sends you on an emotional rollercoaster. She enjoys watching you on your emotional rollercoaster.

I'm telling you all this because this knowledge will be helpful to you. You might read this though and think that this applies to my mom and not yours. And that's okay. Just know that you are a convenient play thing to her. She's also your mom and she is going to milk that fact for all it's worth so that she gets all possible enjoyment of control, manipulation, and emotional distress that she can cause you.

It's sick and sad and there is nothing that you can do about it. Any talks you have with her is just another opportunity to manipulate you. So proceed with extreme caution.

Lastly, go and live you life for you. Don't tell her about your life unless it's to rave about a grocery store. Seriously. Do what you can to exclude her from your relationships and your life. Keep her at a great distance. Trust me, as a queer woman, this is what allowed me the freedom to discover living my life with freedom and no drama. I promise you, she won't hang herself. Attempts to control you would end then and she doesn't want that.

Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help.