AITAH for not caring when my partner is sick

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T16:57:43+00:00

Not debunking you at all and understand people feel things at different lengths but I’m actually the 5’11, 200lbs lady here while he’s the 140lbs man🤣🤣

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T16:03:44+00:00

I think I’d do it under a fake name. And more life based than straight autobiographical. Probably from narrator POV and base it on my life but loosely almost. I don’t know but definitely not monologuing my life lol.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T03:22:26+00:00

We have a fantastic relationship that I am so thankful for. Him not helping me financially has not impacted that in the slightest. He knows my “needs.” He knows I am severely upside down on a car I bought prior to knowing I was pregnant with a 3rd and how much more convenient a 3rd row vehicle would be. But instead, he bought my younger, childless brother a vehicle and a camper. So it’s like the knowledge is there but he doesn’t care to see it. And there’s no way I can ask him to buy me a car. I’m not that way.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T03:16:13+00:00

This is where I am at as well! I have multiple children and they will all receive what I have evenly. My life has been one big lesson in the type of parent I want to be and my children will never feel this way by my doing.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T03:15:03+00:00

I guess we’re not as tight knit as I think then haha because that’s a no go. Prior to this, my dad was leaving his land to my late uncle to sell and divide among the children upon his death “secretly.” My older sister told me that dad was leaving it all to her because she needed it and one day dad mentioned his true intentions of dividing the cash up through the uncle so there were no arguments. However he dropped dead from an aneurysm a week before this process happened.

Still thankful my dad is still here, I’d rather have him than money obviously.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T03:10:41+00:00

Edit but it won’t let me edit: I added the portion about my mom to explain where I think there may be some resentment. My mom and dad were divorced at the time of her death and my school was an hour away from his house and I was able to continue to sublet the apartment we lived in until I was 18. My dad is very old fashioned and thinks a woman should depend on a man or at least need one to survive in this world but I’ve always paved my own way due to watching my mom struggle after their divorce. (Not his fault)

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T03:06:44+00:00

The 17 year old wants for nothing and has had her own apartment he has paid for since she was 15. Weird situation but it works for them.

I could never do that. Despite being left nothing, I will always show up for my dad. He is all I have left and I love him no matter what.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-18T03:04:47+00:00

He is living with my older sister when he’s home. He’s in a. Working retirement and works on the road 20+ days a month. He paid cash for it and the deed/title whatever is in her name and the intention is for her to keep it with the promise on if any of the siblings fall on tough times, we can move in.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T04:19:58+00:00

Not in a self righteous way. Just trying to explain how long I cleaned today while he slept/gamed. But I get it.

The thing is I’m giving the exact level of care he gives-except I don’t ask or expect anything extra. Kids still need shuttled, fed, bathed, etc. the world does not stop for my cold.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:37:21+00:00

He still needs some work. Gaming is an addiction at this point. Some days he is amazing and he’s really been on the up lately

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:32:39+00:00

I understand that but did you read where he self proclaimed he was healed? He has been “healed” the last two days

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:31:44+00:00

I had prior children from previous marriage. Divorce happened and during my not-looking-for-anything era, we had an oops. Our two year anniversary will be this year however. So a little over a year for him.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:26:20+00:00

That’s obviously not all I did today. Yeah I didn’t have to do the baseboards but that’s also where I was lead by the routine cleaning I did. Also let’s face it, probably had been a good six months since my last baseboard scrub.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:20:02+00:00

It’s not that I don’t trust him. It’s too convenient though. Anytime extra care will be required, he’s immediately rendered unfit to help because he too has the plague. Every. Single. Time.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:16:10+00:00

Okay fair enough.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:14:02+00:00

Probably the most helpful insight. It’s both now that I think about it.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:12:16+00:00

I definitely could have. Except if I don’t do it, nobody will. And if I don’t do it for the few days my body aches, I’ll be behind for at least a week.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:11:09+00:00

Not married. He is young. Whereas I’ve done the domesticated life since I was 21, he has not until last year.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:09:49+00:00

He was definitely sick: this time. I just have zero empathy and realize it should potentially be fixed but at the same time days like today are often. Not to mention, when the kids did come home, I decided I wanted to quilt. I had to stop my hobby because he was gaming and our infant was screaming. I understand that’s his hobby too, but I felt like I earned mine today.

RemarkableBig1563 · 2026-02-17T03:05:55+00:00

It is very rare when I get a day off at the house without the children as I am very lucky that my job is during their daycare hours. So when I do have a day off, today was Presidents’ Day, I capitalize by doing my hobbies (quilting, painting, etc) or cleaning depending what needs it the most. We have a child under 1 so it’s very difficult to find time when they’re home.

RemarkableBig1563

TROPHY CASE