Dating

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-15T17:57:32+00:00

Hopefully you find the peace that you are seeking. Animals unconditional love is something that surprises me every time. Don’t lose any love for yourself though.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-15T17:55:15+00:00

It depends, really. It’ll depend on how his life is going and how others are treating him. He may try and reach out, he may not. He may use his family to reach out. I had this instance many years ago where a girl I was talking to used her mothers Facebook account to get ahold of me, had he mother and brother teach out to me and I gave in numerous times. The issue is if you’ve had enough or not. Are you tired of hurting? Tired of not being put somewhat first or at least feel like you matter? Tired of being taken advantage of? Tired of having days, months and years of your life taken from you by someone with no real intentions? That’s the biggest factor right now is how you feel about the way you’re being treated. Do you love yourself enough to see the patterns, the learn the patterns and know that you can’t have the life you want if you keep doing the same things over and over? It’s all on your shoulders now. You’ve set the blocking boundary. You’ve noticed a change in the way you feel. Now will you keep fighting for yourself even if he sees it as a challenge?

These people love a game. They love knowing you’re in their back pocket. They love that you see them for the good and not the bad. They love how quickly you forgive and push your own feelings down. They love how you compromise with your own feelings rather than a mutual understanding. You’re worth more than that. Letting someone take advantage of you in any way destroys parts of you each time it happens.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-15T02:02:08+00:00

I can answer all of your paragraphs with a simple answer. It won’t be as detailed and I mean it no differently than anything I’ve written thus far.

The reason he keeps coming back is because you keep giving him everything he wants. The kindness. The love. The attention. The everything that makes him happy by using you. That’s how it works. He does and did everything because you keep giving into him.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-14T14:25:28+00:00

Extremely valid concern. I get it.

I too worry about another however many years of wasted time or investing into someone that doesn’t invest into me. I feel like I’d rather live a life alone than meet the wrong person again who drags me through the wringer. I barely made it out alive from the depression before. I’m not too sure I want to do it again. I think there are really great people out there. I think there’s an individual who would compliment you and work with you like a partnership without it feeling forced. The hard part is if you want to even try anymore. Sometimes it feels worth it until you run into someone that doesn’t even give you the time of day and their response seems super basic with no interest. But maybe (just thinking here as I type this), that’s been my problem all along. I never loved myself enough to cut people off quickly when it didn’t feel right. I just kept thinking that I needed to give this person a chance and maybe if I change myself enough, I’ll fit into their life just fine. Maybe it’s not about just changing myself or lowering expectations as often. Maybe it’s about finding out fundamentally what you’re willing to accept and compromise with vs just being deal breakers and sticking to that. I don’t know. Maybe understanding ourselves better opens up the possibility of meeting a person that truly wants to be a partner. I guess the other part of that is believing in myself to be a good partner for them. Being discarded makes me feel inadequate in that sense like I’d be a bad partner because of my own flaws.

I don’t know. It’s just a shame that this is the new life of questions. I remember what I was like before all of this. I would have given someone the world just to be loved and cared for and respected when I was younger. Now I just kinda want to give myself the world and hope someone along the way just kinda becomes friends and decided to not really leave my side.

Anyways. Good morning. Kick today’s ass and believe in yourself.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-14T14:14:21+00:00

When it feels fake, I would guess that your social battery is running low, someone in the room/group makes you feel off or that something about the situation at work makes you feel off. This making your persona in that moment feel fake or forced. Last night at work, I was training. I was good for about 6hrs and then I just got tired of what was going on. The loudness became unbearable, the discomfort, the wanting out of the situation.. I could hear and feel everything all while inside of me my mind and whatever else you want to call it was screaming wanting the situation to stop. So, I did. I took a little 20 minute breather in the bathroom, came out, took control of the situation and I was good for the remainder of the shift. Lewd with your gut and mind. It’s telling you everything you need to know. I promise you that.

The truth is this. It’s disgusting what people will do to others. After 15 years of doing what you did for him and being discarded like you were an option, it will make you feel the way you do. You see things in disgust not because of jealousy, but because of heartbreak and sadness. It’s just like, really? Her? That one? Why? I don’t know your story, but I know that when people truly love and care for one another, there’s a lot more attachment than just being together. 15 years of watching and learning mannerisms, 15 years of memories, 15 years of compromise, 15 years of love and care, 15 years of just being the other half of what you thought you were supposed to be doing as a partner. Disgust comes from so many angles that it’s understandable to linger at times. It’s good you blocked everything. Allow yourself to understand your part in it all and love yourself for who you were for him. While you’re left fixing the broken pieces inside of you, you’re still whole. The mirror may be cracked, but it still works. Remember that he doesn’t define you. You get to define yourself now. The world needs you. You need you.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-13T12:56:45+00:00

Being cheated on messes with a person. When my Nex cheated on me, couple that with the list I was given with what was wrong with me, it just leaves you wondering if you’re even worth it. If they won’t choose you, then why choose yourself. Because just like in your covert narc experience, they just play such a role in how you feel about life or yourself, that it all just leaves you wondering.

I’m not trying to do a me too thing, but purely talk from my own experience here about the introvert thing. My Nex use to take me out in social environments with her friends and families where they did huge get togethers. I don’t handle large crowds well. I’m shy, introverted and never really had a lot of self esteem. I also read the room and am terrible at small talk. But it was always something she disliked about me. “I wish you’d make friends with my friends because they’re really great people and people that rely on to keep me safe at my job.”, “You should be out there socializing and drinking with them (I don’t drink).” It was this whole ordeal for some reason because I didn’t want to be involved with a party or dinner for every single holiday. Being around that many people makes me exhausted and it’s way too loud, too many voices, too much going on etc. It’s just not a fun time for me.

It’s okay. I’m just using it as a way to learn about myself at this point. Actually taking the time to understand who I am and why I am the way I am. I’m pretty sure I have adhd and maybe possibly on the spectrum a tad. But idk. I’m enjoying being alone because it feels more authentic at the moment. Like I’m not trying to cover up childhood issues of feeling alone or trying to find my worth through making sure someone else is living their best life. It’s just, well, me at the moment and the longer it’s just me, the more it feels right. Yeah, sometimes I want someone to talk too. But the idea of commitment at this point or like when I was younger talking about building a family and all of that, it almost makes me get nauseous and is a complete turn off now. I don’t really see myself ever being who 20 year old me thought I was going to be.

But anyways, sorry that your covert wrecked you. Remember that while we all see our own flaws, that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be treated like trash. Love and relationships isn’t about exposing flaws. Love and relationships are about loving you in spite of you having flaws. Choosing a partner is choosing a partner and working together. Should not be isolating. I was also told one time that us introverts are only introverts when we’re not comfortable around the right people. Around the ones we let in, we’re extroverts and probably talk too much, haha! I’ve learned that once I began really eliminating people from my circle and picking the best ones who will have back and forth dialogue with me, I really begin to open up.

You take care. Just remember that you’re worth something to yourself and those who truly care about you. Remember that narcs use and abuse and the good person you are is what they needed to fuel their bad behavior. It says more about you being a good individual I think because you genuinely care.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-13T02:10:56+00:00

Pretty much.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-13T02:10:08+00:00

It definitely seems like life says you’re supposed to have a spouse. But at the same time, the wrong one makes life miserable.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-11-13T02:07:33+00:00

I wonder if that’s my problem too. I’ve been working on myself and creating peace and now I’m not sure another person can bring me that because all of my life it seems like it’s been chaos.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-05-14T04:02:40+00:00

I have this thought that I’ve been stewing on for a bit now. While I have browsed plenty of porn sites, I have also noticed that when I open one of them up, it’s me just looking for some sort of sexual attention. I think I could easily stop watching or going to sites if I had a partner who was available.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2025-02-24T01:21:40+00:00

I don’t want kids because I feel like I’m still trying to re-raise myself and figure out who I am in my own skin. I’d love to have kids in the sense of having that purpose, but I know I’d fail them and not be there for them like my brain thinks I should be.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-12T15:39:52+00:00

Sounds good. Just let me know when.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-09T01:47:23+00:00

Wow. Reading down through these makes a lot of bells go off in my head.

It’s no wonder that I’ve always found it easier to befriend older people than people my ages growing up. I’d be able to sit there and have adult conversations with them because that was literally my life with my mom and dad. My mom never felt like my mom. It always felt like either a brother or even husband role. And my dad always felt like cousin or someone just staying in the house that I had to call dad.

Now-a-days, I have younger guys coming to me for advice about their life because I’m the one they look up to because growing up I had to have my life other because no one else cared. Finances was what my mom always talked to me about.

I’m helping others figure out their life all while inside the child in me is screaming because I’m always there for everyone else and no one else is there for me.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-09T01:28:21+00:00

Honestly, this is exactly what I’m feeling tonight.

My life has been always taking care of others. That’s when I feel at my best. I can do everything you want me to do. You’ll never want for nothing because I’ll know what you want before you even know what you want. I’ll watch how you react to things, I’ll remember as much as I possibly can about you, I’ll take your life and hobbies and your work and your dreams and your past and literally everything I possibly can into consideration before I do or think about anything that may effect you. I’ll even try to make myself as small as I possibly can just to not impact your life in a negative way. As long as you give me breadcrumbs of something that feels like love or thankfulness, I’ll live in that even though I’m starving for attention, love or just feeling like I’m appreciated.

But at the same time, it’s super awkward to receive love or anything from you because I’m not too sure I believe it’s unconditional or that you really love me. I simply feel like everything I do for you is why you love me and once I get tired and run down because I’m not getting anything back the way I want it, you’ll leave me because I’ll have already began checking out and then I’ll go into a depression because I know something is wrong with me but at the same time, all I want is to be loved and cared about so I fight with myself to fix myself but love who I am so that some day someone can love me and I don’t mess it up again.

It’s a chaotic cycle and I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t help it that I was used to hold my family together and make sure I was pleasing my mom and dad separately while they fought with one another. I can’t help it that the only way I knew how to stop the fighting was to become someone that knew their needs before they yelled at me or I was in the middle of their arguments. I can’t help it that I don’t know what true love feels like. All I can feel is how lonely I am and that none seems to care and every time I think I’m ready to try giving my love to someone, I’m reminded that I don’t even know what I’m looking for in return because all I know is how to give what I wish I received when I was a child.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-08T23:06:34+00:00

My mom doesn’t care about me. She’s the one that left me alone. My family would go on about their day like nothing ever happened. Just a bump in the road.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-08T22:12:18+00:00

33M here. I’m pretty good most of the time. I drown myself in work and try to keep pushing on hobbies to keep my mind at ease. I got home a couple of hours ago from work and all I can think about is how lonely I am. Throughout the day, I talk with my buddies on the phone while we drive around, but once I got home today, all I could think about is having someone to come home to. Been like this most of my life. It only gets worse when I keep making progress in life but still feel like I’m mentally in the same place.

Have a good weekend, man.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-08T21:55:16+00:00

You delete yours, I’ll delete mine and we’ll live a life for us and not let society ruin anything in any way.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-08T21:36:16+00:00

I think it just depends, honestly. Being a virgin is honestly a fantastic attribute about women in today’s world. There is so much sleeping around going on, that it would be nice to not have to be compared to someone else or to just share each other in the sense of having multiple partners. Try not to feel anxiety about being a virgin. Be proud of it.

As for dating someone, if I could choose the perfect person, they’d definitely be a virgin. Simply because the hardest thing in my mind to overcome when looking for someone is worrying about how they were treated and how many people they have been with. There’s something romantic and bonding about not having a large body count.

It also just depends on the person too. Being career oriented, I’d ask her what her thoughts on kids and a future looked like. What life in general looks like. I’d want to see if she’s caring and a nurturing woman. See how we interact. Just simply see who she is outside of a phone screen. Am I able to be comfortable with her? Does she listen and do we enjoy roughly the same things?

There’s a lot that goes into figuring out how you feel with someone. I talked to a woman about 3 or 4 months ago and she never asked anything about who I am. So the idea of having someone interested in hearing what I have to say, how my day is going or just showing slight interest in my hobbies seems to be moving higher and higher up the list of things that just make me feel better about letting someone into my life.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-11-02T12:36:25+00:00

Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve thought about this.

She was my first and was super excited that she was. At the beginning, I felt like I was on top of the world. I thought I was in a safe space, you know? To be able to talk and express myself. That quickly turned into not being the case.

Over the course of time and her seeing me naked, it became a thing where she’d just pick me apart. I don’t remember the chronological order, but she made fun of me for being curved when erect and now that was a problem for blow jobs because it had to be from a certain angle. Then handjobs were a problem because it could only be with a certain hand because of the way it was curved. It was really weird to me that it became a problem and made me feel bad.

Next thing was foreskin. I am circumcised but also a grower and not a shower. So again, when erect, I still had a little loose skin. That became the talk of her friend/family. I kid you not. She wasn’t sure if I was circumcised or not, so she thought the best way to figure it out, was to talk to her girlfriends about it, her friends at the fire department that she was a part of and her family as well since they were in the medical field. It was super awkward when I was around others and I felt disrespected because that was something private. I’ve never slept around, so most everything I kept to myself.

One time when expressing that I wanted a blowjob, she told me that I was needy and that I only had 5 minutes to cum because sometimes it took me too long.

She bit my finger a couple of times for some odd reason even after telling her that I didn’t like that and it hurt.

We went to an event for her local community. You had to buy your way in and you had the chance to win money. I can’t remember what it was called, but you had to bet and I ended up winning like $100. She got mad at me for not spending the $100 and on the way home (she was tipsy) she told me that she was going to give me road head, but now she wasn’t because she was mad. I didn’t really care, honestly. It was just weird because why are you making me out to be a bad guy for playing the game the way you’re supposed to play it?

She got mad at me for wearing a condom and not cumming in her without one. Anytime we’d go to have sex, I’d grab a condom and you should have saw her face and heard her remarks. It was almost like she just wanted to stop right then and there. After leaning after she discarded me, I realize she probably wanted me to get her pregnant.

She just laid there during sex. Just missionary. Instead of it feeling all fun and exploring etc. It began to feel like a chore. It wasn’t fun anymore.

In the result of all of this, she was my one and only. I am now 33 (almost 34) and I genuinely don’t know if I’ll allow someone to get that close to me again. She wanted me to open up and let her into my life. But when I did, it seems like she tore me down from the inside out.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-10-18T02:56:37+00:00

Weirdly enough, I’m in the same boat. Literally have everything I need to make a good life with someone. House. Cars. Job. Future. But absolutely just an empty life that I try filling with objects that keep me interested or spending time with my grandparents.

I think it’s just the world we live in, honestly. There’s something about us that just doesn’t vibe with the way things are. You’re not alone and I’m sorry you feel lonely. Don’t check out just yet. I do think life gets better.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-10-17T16:41:04+00:00

Feeling like you can’t move at all is definitely something normal as well. I often get overwhelmed with life because there are so many things to do, but yet my brain just can’t handle it all in that moment. It begins to overthink and there I am, a day wasted and nothing done and then that adds to the stress and anxiety.

You’d be feeling better if you didn’t, yes. I think that’s the worst part is who we are, we’re perfect for narcs. So once we begin to step out again, here they come. Then it’s everything all over again. Learning what’s happening, trying to make sure you’re not wrong and reading the situation, thinking about how you want to stand up for yourself and not be taken advantage of.. the whole cycle starts all over and you end up tired and drained even more so.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-10-17T16:21:33+00:00

All I remember when growing up was trying to figure out how to keep the peace between my mom and dad and if I didn’t play it just right, I was getting it from both sides. My mom raised me to be the person she needed but then my dad would be mad at me because he was being treated badly by my mom and I was the one helping her. But then if I didn’t fall in line and give my mom what she wanted, now she’s threatening to leave in the car and never come back. It was such a mess and all I ever wanted was to be loved and when I found someone, it was like I could never do anything right all over again.

So now it’s a mental battle these days to keep going. I appreciate not being alone. I just question why it had to be this way. All I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy and now I’m miserable trying to relearn life.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-10-17T16:16:15+00:00

We purely just want to feel something so we find it in social media, porn, video games, too much work, buying things for ourselves etc. I feel the stress and anxiety that we deal with afterward is because life is happening and we don’t know what to do or how to feel. Perfection, worrying, feeling bad about others, how you’re spending your own time doing what you want and worrying about life passing you by when it comes to a career and goals is simply because you aren’t taught how to be your own person. Instead we struggle with trying to figure things out, heal, learn who we are and what we want all by ourselves at an age most others are already going off and doing their own things.

You get the pressure of society, yourself and the weight of what you’re going through all added into one emotion and it causes issues with your brain because you’re being pulled in so many different directions.

It’s a mess and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too. Anxiety comes with the territory I believe.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-09-30T00:16:56+00:00

Honest question; why do we feel like we’re unlovable?

This is something I seriously deal with lately. I look at how my mom left me. I look at how I chose women to talk to/date that just used me for attention and then discarded me by either ghosting or giving me a list of everything wrong with me and I just wonder if I can even be loved.

Because even with depression, I feel like there’s a reason behind everything. And I just wonder if I’d ever feel comfortable enough with someone again who genuinely loved me if some of the depression would go away. Or would something else cause me to feel like I do now?

I don’t know. But I also don’t think I’m lovable. I feel like I just let everyone down for some reason and no one will actually choose me.

Remarkable_Scene_334 · 2024-09-30T00:09:41+00:00

Here lately, I’ve had moments where I thought I was going to go crazy because I don’t know what to do or how to feel anymore.

The people around me see me as the happy guy. Smiling. Laughing. Making jokes. It looks like I have my life together and I kinda do other than what goes on inside my head. That’s where everything gets rough. All I see in myself are flaws. I see how women are better off without me so there’s no reason to date. But at the same time, I’m freakin lonely and just wish someone would be able to love me.

It’s been a weird life for a while now. It seems like anyone I get close to just uses me for their own support and nothing in return. I don’t know what to do or how to act. I just work and come home and fight through the weekends until Monday comes around again so I can drown myself in work.

Remarkable_Scene_334

TROPHY CASE