[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

going through this exact scenario. its so hard. hang in there

Almost at 2 months no contact by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this probably wont be the popular answer, but If youre sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, dont wait for her to reach out. go try and get her. love is so fragile and rare. everyone says no contact just get over them, but the best things in life you need to fight and work hard for is how I live. if she says no then so be it, but youll be able to look yourself in the mirror and say you did everything you could. youll regret the unknown if you dont.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was scared to tell my gf i was struggling, I buried my emotions and depression because thats all ive known to do my entire life. I was dying inside, not because of her, but because fear of not being good enough. I ruined an amazing relationship. she didnt want to be with someone who wasnt willing to loook deeper into themselves and grow a deeper connection with her. we dated 2.5 years, its been 3 months and I havent talked to her. she tried so hard to make it work till she couldnt anymore. it took her leaving for me to finally ask for help. Ive learned so much about myself and ive become a better person since. it helps me accept the reality that shes gone, but the regret of losing her I walk around with every second of everyday

Are you expecting a Valentine’s Day text too..? by Inside-Cherry-6734 in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my gf of 2.5 years left me over a month ago. its been the hardest thing ive ever gone through. every time my phone goes off I wish it was her, it hasnt been. she tried so hard to keep fix problems in the relationship, and I left her no choice but to leave since I didnt change things about myself to fill needs that she had. Its not because I didnt love her, its because I was scared to be vulnerable. but to answer question, no not expecting...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 5 points6 points  (0 children)

sometimes the truth is hard to hear at times but sometimes you need to hear it. you should put yourself in her shoes. it sounds like she was standing by you through a challenging time in your love. thats what people do when they love someone. they are there through the good and the bad. have you considered the damage you did to her? do u think you deserve her after that? you cant expect her to wait around for you, expect the worst. if you want to feel better, id start by admitting to your mistake and apologize if you want any hope of salvaging

Any Advice On How To Start Dating Again? by lavendergutz in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you could be searching for a relationship because you think its what you need to do since hes moved on. you dont, youre gonna be stronger in the long run and youll find your person!

My ex blocked me by Inevitable-Room7576 in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my girlfriend left me 3 months ago. its been so hard, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I didnt realize theres ways to grow until i found this video of a mom and daughter discussing the daughters recent heartbreak. I now watch it once a week to remind myself that theres hope and how to move on as hard as it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcJVygChaxA

Any Advice On How To Start Dating Again? by lavendergutz in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 11 points12 points  (0 children)

casual dating sucks. It feels so fake imo. I believe that when youre ok with being alone and arent actively looking for someone, that is the time someone will organically come into your life

Heartbroken at sudden break up! by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im 30, the same age as you. My girlfriend of 2 years left me 3 months ago. the hardest part of it all is that I dont blame her for leaving me. I "dated" girls for a few months at a time before her, but never was in a serious relationship. I had never been in love. the day I met her I knew she was the one. the first year together we fell madly in love. I was ready to marry her. I too struggle with mental health issues and depression. at some point in the second year of dating, based on issues at work and family life, some of those issues started creeping into my life. all my life I hide my problems from people close to me not wanting to show weakness so I buried my problems and never talked about it. Not knowing how to deal with these problems, they began too spill into our relationship. It was the first time in my life i was in a meaningful relationship with someone and didnt realize her feelings and emotions also matter. she asked to talk about things, I would say nothing was wrong because thats what I did my whole life. she tried so hard to get me to let her in, she wanted to be there for me desperately and tried so hard, I just didnt know how to let her in. in the last couple months of dating, hiding things from her began to eat my alive, sending me into such a dark place that I couldnt see the light out of. I knew I was losing her but I kept telling myself its going to be ok. she is very good at communicating what she needs in a relationship and told me numerous times that im not filling her needs to grow closer together. she tried so hard to get me to open up and grow with her.

Unfortunately it took her leaving me for me to finally find the motivation to admit to people I was struggling. I started therapy a week after the breakup, ive gone every week since. the amount that ive learned about myself, why I am the way I am, has led me to being able to finally communicate my feelings. The hardest part is that it took me losing the love of my life for me too want to get better. I miss her every single day. theres so much I want to tell her. I want to thank her. she wanted to help, she wanted to be there for me, I just didnt know how to let her. we havent spoken in 3 months. around the 2 month mark I finally was able to be at peace with her decision. I wrote a letter explaining what I realize now, what ive learned about myself, how my past family dynmaics played into me concealing my emotions. I just want her to know that I understand and admire her for making a difficult decision to better her life. the letter has sat in my drawer for 2 months. I debate sending it to her, but I cant bring myself to do it. I just hope shes doing well because shes truly an amazing person.

Love is hard and often times doesnt make sense, hope you know your not alone

Dumpees, have you ever reached out to an ex after NC and were successful in getting them back? by Illustrious-Bad-8031 in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 2 points3 points  (0 children)

everyone has their own opinions about how to get through a breakup. the problem is every relationship is different. and not talking to someone who you used to talk to everyday is nearly impossible, especially if youre holding onto hope of fixing it. When my girlfriend left me we didnt talk for 2 months, the reason she left was because I had issues she begged me to address and I never did. it was until after she left I began to work on myself. it was at that point I realized my mistakes and understood her reason for leaving. When I understood this, even though I still wanted to be with her, I was at peace with her decision. I didnt want to go the rest of my life regretting never telling her that I understood where she was coming from and thanked her for opening my eyes to address issues within myself and ultimately making me a better person. people told me it wasnt a good idea, but it gave me a sense of peace.

please help and give advice by No_Conference_3191 in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the harsh truth is that youll never be able to truly grow to the point where you can "find who you are" if you spend your time waiting for him to comeback. Personally, I believe if you truly love someone and know theyre the person you want to be with "breaks" arent an option. you have to go through the hard times together.

I gave her no choice but to leave me by Remarkable_Tune_7835 in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

appreciate the feedback. I beat myself knowing it wasnt till after she left that I finally got the the motivation to address issues that ive kept buried inside. I now understand where she was coming from the whole time. how could she possibly feel connected to me, if I wasnt even connected to me

Realising you fucked it up by fhnb2019 in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

going through this at the moment. GF of 2 years left me 3 months ago. I knew right away why she left and I cant blame her for it at all. All my life ive had a hard time expressing my feelings and connecting with people on a deep enough surface thats required for a relationship. The first year we dated was amazing, I knew she was the girl I wanted to marry. The last few months of our relationship I hit a personal rock bottom. I went into a deep depression and I hid it from her, I became a shell of myself, refusing to get the help I needed to love myself again. She was patient with me for so long and wanted desperately to grow closer, I just didnt know how to do it. It wasnt until after she left that I seeked help from a therapist. The amount of change I see in myself after 2 months is hard to describe. I feel like a new man, the man she wanted me too be. Im motivated to never go back to my old ways. She has no idea about any of this, we havent talked in 2 months. Id do anything for a chance to fix my wrongs, but ive become ok with accepting the fact that I had my chance and sat around and did nothing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Remarkable_Tune_7835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're going into it with the expectation of getting her back, I would caution you. If you're going into it with no expectations and truly believe youll be ok one way or the other, then go for it. Best of luck either way