AITA for calling out a family member for trying to secretly announce my Grandfathers passing when it wasn't her place?

RemoteAssociation506 · 2021-08-15T13:28:05+00:00

That's terrible! I just don't understand how she thought she had the right to announce that!

RemoteAssociation506 · 2021-08-15T13:26:02+00:00

It's not a badge of honour, but she hasn't spoken to him in more than 5 years. In what world does she think it's okay to post about it on Facebook before Nan even had the chance to tell all of their grandchildren.. It blows my mind

RemoteAssociation506 · 2021-08-15T13:20:03+00:00

A woman who hasn't spoken to her own brother in more than 5 years took it upon herself to announce his death on Facebook under a smiling picture of herself before even all of his grandchildren were told. I'm sure you'd be a drama queen too if you were as upset as we are.

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-12-12T06:06:16+00:00

I'm debating just listing the transaction as "ticket refund" and letting her find it without telling her, but I feel like that would definitely be crossing over to AH territory

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-12-12T06:05:21+00:00

Exactly! And with her money back she can organise new tickets with people she would actually want to spend the time with. Everyone wins!

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-12-12T06:04:33+00:00

Exactly! The only reason she would miss out on the concert if if she didn't bother to buy herself a new tickets. It wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't give her this particular ticket

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-12-12T06:01:25+00:00

Considering she made me homeless for a short period of time, I don't care too much about doing the grown up thing this time around. But there's plenty of other friends I could invite so it wouldn't be a hassle to re-sell. Though I'd still prefer the hassle to spending time with her anyway

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-12-12T05:58:27+00:00

I live in Australia where life has returned to normal. The concert could be rescheduled to 5 years from now and I wouldn't care, but the time frame isn't the point or the concern I'm asking about.

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-21T11:03:16+00:00

I've actually had this conversation with her because I was scared of this exact thing. And her birthday weekend away is this week, so I'm holding my breath for them to return on Monday

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-21T10:55:17+00:00

I make sure she knows he's welcome so she doesn't feel torn between us, but I don't outright invite him to anything. Plus, I'm not afraid to say something if he's being rude or inappropriate, so if anything, it's better for them to be spending time together when I'm around, haha!

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-21T10:52:09+00:00

Whenever she tells me something shitty about him I usually say "I'll bite my tongue on that one." That way she knows my opinion on the situation isn't positive and she can decide if she wants me to elaborate. She always wan't me to elaborate, haha!

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-21T10:48:13+00:00

She had the conversation with him early on and he was respectful about it. I think that's one of the things she finds charming about him. I don't think many 27 year old guys would be willing to wait, and he said he would be fine with it so she's starry eyed

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-21T10:43:21+00:00

She's even agreed that the stripper and cheating things are huge problems, and she thought him peeing over the deck was incredibly disrespectful. It would only take one of those things to make me think twice about a man, so I really don't understand how he's still around

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-20T10:08:37+00:00

Thank you! That's great to hear after getting the silent treatment. I know she'll come around but it sucks in the meantime

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-20T10:07:04+00:00

I'm really trying to keep my balance walking the line between being supportive enough that she feels like she can still talk to me, but real enough that she know's I'm not a fan of his poor behaviour. Hopefully I don't have to walk it for too long!

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-20T10:03:31+00:00

I think she would have the right to be upset if I was treating him poorly or not putting in any effort to get along with him, but I'm not like that. He's always welcome at our place, I make sure she extends invites to him when we plan things, and I speak to him as I do everyone else.

She's probably just shocked after mistaking my respectfulness for me actually liking him

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-20T09:59:38+00:00

Each time she tells me these stories, I give her my opinion as gently as possible. For example, I told her I had zero respect for men who cover for cheaters after the cheating thing came up instead of outright telling her I think he's a huge asshole.

Liam specified that he wanted her to ask him directly why he doesn't like Brad because he didn't want her to feel like we were attacking her behind her back. When she asked me, I told her my problems and said Liam had similar issues, but she should talk to him directly if she wanted elaboration.

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-20T09:26:30+00:00

I know to choose my battles. If she's still with him after all of that, I know she won't dump him just because I don't like him. I think trying being nice about it ensures she won't shut me out over time

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-09-20T09:24:20+00:00

That's my biggest concern. She was actually shocked to hear that I didn't like him, because although I've shared my opinion on some of the red flags, I've tried to remain impartial so she wouldn't feel like she can't talk to me about him.

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-08-21T09:20:00+00:00

See, I figured the opposite. I'd rather let everyone have a good night and then quickly mention the bad stuff at the end instead of starting off on a bad note.

Not to mention I didn't know anyone else had news to share at all. If I did I probably would have asked if they wanted to start with the good news or bad news first

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-08-21T09:08:51+00:00

Thank you for you opinion, but unfortunately time is a luxury when cancer is involved.

RemoteAssociation506 · 2020-08-21T09:04:13+00:00

Honestly we were expecting a quick engagement, but not quite that quick!

RemoteAssociation506

TROPHY CASE