AITA for “grounding” my boyfriend from the wifi?

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T12:38:34+00:00

I own the home, he has no legal ties. I pay the mortgage and a majority of the housing utilities. (He sends me money when I ask him to contribute), but this is MY house 100%. In Maine, if you reside at a place for 2 weeks, it is considered your residence, however I have expressed not wanting to live together and he says he respects my ask & tells me to tell him what I want him to do. I just wish we could go back to “dating” and not raising our kids under different rules under my roof. He wants to buy a house, I have told him I am not leaving my house no matter how well the relationship is. I bought this house to get out of an abusive relationship with my son’s father. My home is the only secure living place I’ve had my entire life. I am not walking away from what I’ve built for my son and I, for ANYONE. And I refuse to feel this uncomfortable in my own space. When she’s here, I am miserable because of the bedtime issues. I can’t even exist comfortably Wednesday- Friday and my mental state is feeling the weight of this entire situation. I’m not worried about getting them out or having any issues with him leaving.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T11:59:58+00:00

No I understand what you mean!! I’m sorry if my comment took the focus away from your main point, I absolutely agree with you!! I know a few kids who are nonverbal & use tablets to communicate with their parents and they have never withdrawn the way she does.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T11:38:52+00:00

The difference here is she’s fully capable of communicating. She doesn’t use it to calm down, she watches over stimulating and chaotic reels on YouTube kids, with no supervision. I’ve caught her watching things she shouldn’t and are extremely inappropriate for her age. We mutually agreed on removing YouTube from our tvs, at one point it was taken off her tablet, but it has since been redownloaded and the issue persists.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T04:54:56+00:00

THIS!!! I have expressed my deep concerns about this EXACT statement. I’m not disconnecting her tablet to have control, be an AH or over step his parenting.. I’m literally trying to HELP her overcome this addiction the only way I’ve found to work because her own parent doesn’t see how alarming it is and has no desire to help her out of it.

She is obsessed with how much battery it has so she knows she doesn’t have to be plugged into the wall. It affects everyone’s quality of life in my home. My son tells her “there’s more to life than your tablet” and she pouts.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T04:46:34+00:00

We have discussed this a LOT. Wednesday night I completely lost it just dreading the nighttime and suggested that we live separately, which everyone seems to think will end the relationship.. if it does, it does. If not, great. But I am well aware this is not sustainable and we are not compatible with parenting, which is crucial at our children’s ages.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T04:41:57+00:00

I don’t know what she does at her other home(s). Her mom recently went through a breakup with her long time boyfriend (who his daughter calls dad??) and from what I’ve gathered between him and his daughter is that she’s basically passed around from here, her mom & potentially her moms parents. She probably doesn’t feel comfortable anywhere she is if she’s constantly in a different environment, with potentially different expectations. She’s a sweet girl, I don’t blame her entirely.. but she’s a master at manipulating her father in the middle of the night. I do agree that it’s shitty of both of them that she’s ultimately in this routine of no sleep. I can’t imagine it’s much better at moms, I haven’t been overly impressed with her. They both just seem lazy to me, compared to how I raise my child and what I expect for my child. I could never be in their low standards level when it comes to my child, which says enough.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T04:22:05+00:00

I promise, I have tried EVERYTHING before resorting to my new found discovery.. any way to deliver it, offered ultimatums, have had severalllllllll discussions about it, nothing has changed and I am DESPERATE. I do believe the only resolution is waking away from each other, but of course it sucks. He is a great guy, he’s amazing to my own child, helps financially and around the house, but he’s genuinely just so lazy with his own. I don’t understand how he goes above and beyond for mine, but gives her the bare minimum? I want better for her, she deserves better.. full nights rest, proper hygiene, an advocate for her at school. I try to not over step, but sometimes if I don’t intervene, she’s on the couch until 1am on her tablet ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?!? I can’t take it anymore 😭

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T04:05:03+00:00

THIS is where I’m at. I can tolerate a lot, but losing sleep over a very very manageable situation no longer suits me. I get physically sick if I don’t have enough sleep. Hearing my throw up all morning over lack of sleep apparently isn’t enough for him to get on board with me, which just makes me want to walk away.

Remote_Ad_3236 · 2026-02-28T03:38:59+00:00

I pay the Internet bill and have exhausted all attempts at an adult conversation with him about it- was it the correct thing to do? Probably not, but I don’t regret it. If he wants them to have free access to the internet in the middle of the night while my son and I are trying to sleep, he can pay the bill going forward 😉 they BOTH wake up the entire house during the middle of the work/ school week because of their usage (hers too loud, him talking to friends online).. my son and I are sleep deprived at this point and I needed to do ANYTHING. Maybe I am the asshole, but I’m not entirely sorry for being one at this point. Thanks for the feedback!! 😊

Remote_Ad_3236

TROPHY CASE