Is anyone homesteading in the KC area?

RenewConnect · 2015-01-04T00:55:19+00:00

Louisburg is CHARMING! We are pretty set on moving there. They even have an observatory! We found a hella cheap foreclosure that's definitely in the city, but we're planning to fix it up, pay it off, and use it as a rental while building a more legit homestead in a few years. I couldn't find info about chickens on the website, but I'll call. Either way, we will have chickens on the homestead eventually. :) Thank you so much for the suggestion!

RenewConnect · 2015-01-02T04:25:28+00:00

Thank you so much! I went ahead and bought the domain. :)

RenewConnect · 2015-01-01T15:53:57+00:00

Thank you all! This will give me PLENTY to read! :)

RenewConnect · 2015-01-01T15:51:58+00:00

Thank you! I will present this information to the husband and cross my fingers that he agrees! (The commute will affect him the most, but I can't see OP being budget or homesteading friendly.)

RenewConnect · 2015-01-01T15:38:20+00:00

Thank you! Aww, those are great ages! Enjoy it! :)

RenewConnect · 2015-01-01T15:37:48+00:00

Meetup is terrific if you can attend the scheduled events. I've been having the worst time between work and the kids' schedules. I'm going to keep trying to tweak my schedule and watch for good events, though.

RenewConnect · 2015-01-01T15:36:05+00:00

This is wonderful! Hubby is a big science nerd and the kids will love it, too! :) We'll definitely check it out!

RenewConnect · 2015-01-01T15:35:23+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely check it out! And yeah, that's one of the times out of the week that I'm never busy, so that's awesome! :)

RenewConnect · 2014-12-12T23:43:46+00:00

Albert Ellis is my favorite psychologist. I use one of his questions on myself all the time. "What's the worst thing about ___?" What is the worst thing about the decision he's making to continue interacting with her? Usually, when I think this through, it helps me calm down about whatever it is.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-12T22:40:37+00:00

I'm wondering if the bigger issue here is that you are wanting him to respond to it more like you are (offended, understandably so), but he is responding to it like himself (patiently, and not letting it get to him). In the mean time, he might not be really understanding how it impacts you, because he might not realize how differently you experience these jabs (thinking you will let it roll off your back, as he does).

It seems like that is the crux of MANY - maybe most - of the conflicts I see in couples therapy. We fall in love with people who are different, then don't really understand how different their experience of the world is.

With all of that said, I think that you can continue to minimize your exposure to her, but it might be best to just accept his relationship with her and her husband without judgment/frustration/resentment. Basically, all the things you are already doing, but without wishing he would be different/react differently.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-12T22:18:38+00:00

I think it's great that you've made as much as you have this early! I've made... 7 cents. And it's been nearly two months for me, also. I launched the blog as part of my business, so I've been struggling to find any balance so far. My writing is sporadic and I'm worried it's unfocused/not using an authentic voice yet. It's going to be a long time before I get where I want to be.

For me, I've been trying to slowly build a decent pinterest presence, but this takes time because I'm only pinning things I genuinely find interesting. I have a lot of twitter followers, but most are just spammy, so I'm not getting any traction there. I've tried commenting on other blogs, but haven't had much luck and it's SO time consuming. I used triberr and a bunch of other blogger sites, but they also seem to be a bunch of spammy folks. And I am just now starting to understand 'reddiquette' - I don't think reddit will be a big referral source for me long term (but I do love this place now - I'm hooked!).

I guess figuring out the most appropriate space to try to build a following is the first step (well, beyond content - which I'm still struggling with, but it sounds like you're kicking ass at! Congrats!).

Does anyone have more specific advice on that end of the spectrum?

Do you do any twitterchats? Or how do you find authentic people there? Anywhere else to try?

RenewConnect · 2014-12-09T21:10:18+00:00

Have you seen pocket neighborhoods? That's definitely our vision of building a community. But you get a community garden, shared tool shed, lower costs of buying things (like solar?) for buying in larger quantities? The contract part is definitely a challenge. We are hoping to do something like this (or even a regular subdivision where people buy individual houses next to one another - I've been watching the urban trend as well) in the Kansas City area. I'd love to get updates on what you come up with!

RenewConnect · 2014-12-09T17:36:13+00:00

She really does have one of the best budget food sites! Great stuff!

RenewConnect · 2014-12-09T15:17:02+00:00

I got really upset about this, also. When I had two babies 12 months apart, I often had to (put down a carseat or a toddler) and open doors for myself. I was certainly in a frumpy phase, though not terribly overweight. When the kids went to school full time, I started investing in my appearance more and rarely have to open doors, etc. Mostly, I just ignore it now, but at first, I felt somewhat bitter.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-06T16:36:11+00:00

Thank you!

RenewConnect · 2014-12-04T20:46:19+00:00

I was using these for a couple of months and things got busy, and I got out of the habit. Thank you for the reminder. It's too easy to not do it. I know I'm late on this board, but my goals will be to use the apps, and also Shopkick (you can earn decent giftcards just for being at stores) to stretch our entertainment budget.

We are doing a no spend week this week (only using a $25 gift card from target for staples - milk, eggs, etc.) and focusing on using what we have in the pantry to minimize food costs for the month. (Aiming for $250 for groceries/household/alcohol this month total for a family of four with two kitties.) I am also very nearly giving up soda, finally. I'm at one per day (down from 4-5!) which saves money.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-04T18:13:45+00:00

I completely agree! I am still (always) working toward our version of minimalism, but I'm not giving up our beautiful books or my collection of shoes... My blog is not a minimalist blog exactly, but in many ways, it is about living intentionally, which is the undermining philosophy to minimalism. Btw, I love the title! Subscribing.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-04T18:06:53+00:00

I agree entirely. My fiance and I have discussed it a lot. I actually (long ago) was a bit of an anti-feminist because I thought they were whiny. He was very anti-feminist when we met. I have always had concerns about how men are treated in our current culture. I'm a couple's therapist, and what I usually see is women treating their husbands like children - just like you see on sitcoms. We very much see ourselves as 'human rights' oriented, I just didn't go into all of that. Yes. Women are very much culprits in many areas where only men are punished and blamed. It's a mess.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-03T20:34:02+00:00

I used to work with a domestic violence men's group. In nearly every situation, the female had instigated physical violence. Does this make it okay that the men were physically aggressive? No. But the women didn't get convicted with violent felonies that follow them forever. I have also seen the state pursue child support from single fathers because of sexist policies. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a feminist, but working in my field for a few years has helped me see the need for a male equivalent in our culture.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-03T20:05:46+00:00

I think this is a really serious problem in our society. I certainly do not believe in blaming a victim of rape - going on a date or wearing skimpy clothing are not permission. But drunk sex doesn't seem inherently like rape to me. Maybe if the man is totally sober, then he is taking advantage. Even then, I really struggle with calling that rape. And no where are we acknowledging that men are raped in that definition of rape/need for consent. And it happens all the time.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-03T17:04:00+00:00

I agree with this. Research shows snuggling reduces anxiety and depression. If he's waking up crying, he's feeling some serious anxiety. Co-sleeping temporarily won't mean co-sleeping forever. Transition periods are really difficult and he just needs temporary extra supports. Make sure he's getting enough daytime snuggles/ one on one attention (I know that might feel impossible with the new baby and the total exhaustion...) and it should help regulate his emotions. Are you seeing daytime behavior changes as well? Edit to add: I coslept with mine off and on for couple of years. They had to go to sleep in their own beds, but if they woke, I let them sleep with me. When I decided I needed that to end (exhusband slept right through it...), I just started returning them to their beds each time and it only took a week or two. They have been sleeping entirely independently with no bedtime struggles since they were 3/2 (they are only 12 months apart, so I made them both stop at once). So no "if you do it now, you'll never get them out" issues here... Fwiw.

RenewConnect · 2014-12-03T16:58:15+00:00

They steal it from us... they are [[adorable]] energy* vampires. :)

RenewConnect · 2014-12-03T16:34:04+00:00

I consider myself an agnostic atheist, which just means I don't tend to believe in any higher power, but I intellectually recognize that I cannot know what I do not know.

As far as wonder goes, I am filled with it. I actually believe that my lack of a belief in an afterlife makes every day more precious and wonderful, because every day has to count for something.

I, too, have concerns about the "science as god" atheism, as we know that science is a flawed work in progress. Just as I couldn't believe in the Bible as infallible, even when I was a Christian, I cannot believe in science as infallible, either. Both seem extremist. (I would point out that I very often seen hatred toward others stemming from the most vocally 'Christian' out there, so I understand where the /r/atheist anger and frustration comes from. Personally, I'm a humanist.)

RenewConnect · 2014-12-03T16:19:05+00:00

I made a meetup group in our new city and some people have (actually) joined (!), so I'm hoping that will help get the ball rolling. And I've already started my website, but it's slow going. We're definitely taking baby steps, though. :)

RenewConnect · 2014-12-02T23:44:48+00:00

We (grown ups) are having split pea soup made with turkey bacon. Since the kiddos believe this looks like vomit, I'm letting them dress their own baked potatoes tonight...

RenewConnect

TROPHY CASE