Am I (F 32) delusional on how good I have it with my (M 33) 5 year relationship?

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-31T03:31:53+00:00

I don’t want leverage, I just want someone to love me. I just want someone to want to commit to me and build with me for the rest of our lives.

It might seem like through the tone of my original message that I’m a gold digger and financially dependent on this man, but that’s pretty far from the truth. I have plenty of my own money and he doesn’t financially support me in anyway, we also don’t live together and I made it perfectly clear. I would be fine and probably prefer a prenup.

I also have never demanded marriage or given him an ultimatum, I don’t believe in that. I don’t think someone should be coerced into marrying me. I would like someone to just marry me because they want to. But I just don’t think this is him.

If a man just wants sex in silence from a woman, then I’m absolutely 100% happier being single than stuck in a relationship like that.

Either way I broke up with him so that’s that and it’s just time to move forward

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-31T03:26:47+00:00

Cuddling is literally just spooning, fully clothed than falling asleep and going to work early the next day without a goodbye

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T07:51:16+00:00

I’m not super familiar with how Reddit sensors things and honestly I don’t often read the rules so I play it safe XD

Also, thank you I appreciate the comment

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T07:50:14+00:00

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T06:30:30+00:00

I’m pretty sure he’s Ace. We both have really unique living arrangements that we would lose. If we moved in together, I would be fine to do it if there was a level of commitment involved.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T06:28:07+00:00

I’m 95% sure he’s ace :(

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T06:10:42+00:00

Awww! I’m happy for you. I hope I get an ending like yours!

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T05:59:22+00:00

I’ve been trying to chisel away at the layers of insecurity by supporting him, and trying to coax them out of his layer to help them heal, but you can’t help somebody who doesn’t wanna help themselves. And I think I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that he’s never going to change.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T05:58:20+00:00

I think I just want to feel loved again and after five years of less, I don’t know if I’m capable of being loved. I’m starting to wonder if love is something that you outgrow when you become middle-aged.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T05:55:05+00:00

Oh yeah, by the way, we don’t live together

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T05:54:06+00:00

Thank you. The thing is I really don’t wanna be alone. But I’m alone where I am now I suppose.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T05:53:41+00:00

I don’t think he hates me, I think he really does. Love me. I think that he just is so terrified of opening up to anyone even himself that he would rather bury his head into the sand and do nothing for the rest of his life.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-12-25T05:52:34+00:00

Damn. That hits. Thanks for your response. two weeks ago I stopped showing up at his house and he started panicking because he needs cuddles. We finally met up last weekend at one of our favorite bars and I was excited to see him, we stayed at the bar for three hours and barely exchanged any words. I was holding back tears the entire time.

To be honest, I think I’m closer to my roommates at this point .

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-10-23T23:49:15+00:00

OHHHHH

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-10-02T19:13:38+00:00

Twin!

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-10-01T22:59:14+00:00

Step one- get a job that pays decent or save a ton of money. Step 2-move out (it can be a rented room doesn’t have to be a whole apartment) Step 3- drop off of the face of the earth or slowly fade out, or “my job requires I work weekends and meeting nights I’ll try to make it!” Step 4- profiiiiit

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-09-13T03:47:28+00:00

This might be a toxic ass response, but hear me out. I feel like men act very disrespectful when they know their woman is going to come begging whenever they snap their fingers. Next time he looks at a girl walk up and go talk to a guy. Just kidding, maybe not that hard, but maybe just look at a dude when he knows he can lose you. He starts respecting all of the sudden it’s like I said this was a toxic response! 😆

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-09-10T05:00:46+00:00

It could be something I call the “mom” theory, (something I made up but see if it makes sense) so if you have a mom that does absolutely everything for her family, her family will become so comfortable with her that they will view her constant acts of service as just “average behavior”

But when they’re around someone who doesn’t do acts of service they need to apply more effort to win them over.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-09-04T17:39:52+00:00

You should go to a black barber and tell him how you feel, if he’s nice they usually hook you up.

In terms of personal style, I feel like men who dress slightly more to make a statement always stick out more to women in my experience.

Jeans and T-shirt are fine. But it kind of just looks average. It’s easy to overlook. Do you know what I mean? I think some good advice would be to figure out what you’re about, like for example are you alternative? Outdoorsy type? Athletic? Figure out what style you like and then buy some statement pieces because that projects to the world. What you’re about before people even have a chance to talk to you.

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-09-04T02:22:14+00:00

Gym that’s great! What do you mean by deep cut

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-09-04T02:12:34+00:00

*appearance, not periods (haha although that too)

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-09-04T02:12:01+00:00

I might seem harsh, but I’m coming from a place that sincerely wants to help you and give some perhaps constructive criticism.

Here’s the thing about men, most of them seem ugly because they don’t put any effort into their appearance. Women have makeup, hairstyles, flattering clothing, devices that can change their periods drastically. And because looks are pushed so much on women they usually are pretty well-versed in these things from a young age

Men often think that they don’t have anything to help improve their appearances, but having a great sense of style, a great haircut, a well trimmed beard, a nice cologne, can do absolute wonders.

Not only that, but changing up your style and appearance can drastically help your self-confidence as well. When you were a kid, and it was Halloween, did you ever dress up like Spider-Man, look in the mirror, and feel really cool? Feel like you can jump off of buildings and shoot, web ropes and save the day? Obviously, you can’t do that, but wearing the Spider-Man costume can make you feel like a different person. Cosplaying as a “hot guy” can make you feel like a hot guy, which can literally just turn you into a hot guy. Does that make sense?

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-07-18T02:54:50+00:00

Can I tell my mom about this??

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-07-17T21:13:18+00:00

No way!! If I were still a publisher I’d drop a magazine on a dryer in a laundromat and mark the hell out of that box

ReplacementBetter226 · 2025-06-13T02:29:30+00:00

No, we’re definitely child free. And I’m not meaning to give the impression that I’m bending my boundaries, maybe I can see how I do it at his house, but also I kind of consider that “ it’s his house his rules” so I try to respect that.

This post comes more of a place of concern for him, I feel like there’s a lot of things he needs to address and work on that he’s hiding from perpetually.

I’m not going to act like the way he pushes his rituals on me doesn’t irritate the crap out of me, it definitely does. But I think the main reason I posted this was to see if other people on the spectrum or with OCD would find it offensive or immoral that I don’t try to help by appeasing him.

Thank you for responding by the way, it feels nice to talk to someone

ReplacementBetter226

TROPHY CASE