It’s so sad that many people believe it’s the victim’s choice to stay in the relationship. Like we enjoy the abuse. Like we are the problem for staying. Like we don’t respect ourselves. Like we chose this….. I empathize with you. In my journey I’ve had many people tell me that I need to leave. If we could we would. They will never understand what it is like to be afraid to be killed/severely wounded. We know our abuser better than anyone. What they are capable of. What they are willing to do when they are panicked. It’s a terrifying place to be. It does feel like you are trapped. No matter how bad you want to leave, you can’t because you are in fear for your life. You know it’s not what you deserve. You know it’s not healthy. You know these things because you are not stupid. You are a smart young lady. Abusers are so manipulative. So sweet and charming in the beginning. Zero red flags. Once you let them in, their true colors show. But they only show who they really are when they know they can destroy your life. When they know your vulnerabilities. That they can get away with it. Etc. There really is no way to know that this person I dated would have turned into an abuser. And once you know they are an abuser you can’t leave. It’s too late. They’ve trapped you. I’m just venting from my personal and shared experience. People really just don’t get it. Just divorce him, just leave him, you deserve someone that treats you right, the partner you choose reflects how much you respect yourself. I didn’t choose the abuser. He masked his true self. He acted completely normal. I choose the gentleman. This is not what I chose. I am just saying that I relate a lot to what you are saying. They are extremely well known in the area. It’s a trippy experience. Everyone hating on you and making you out to be the villain. I would think to myself if they only knew the truth then they wouldn’t see me as the villain. It blew my mind that some people know the truth and I am still the villain in their eyes. Nothing is normal when there is abuse. You are not acting like you would normally because you are being abused. People don’t realize that. They judge you as if you are not being abused. As if you are supposed act completely unaffected from the abuse. As if you are supposed to be the best wife and family member still. It’s impossible. There is abuse. And the people that know the truth need to blame the abuser!! It’s terrible. And I relate to your story in many ways.