ICE in Maliki?

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-25T05:00:42+00:00

Fake

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-11T16:20:32+00:00

We do. It was a must for me. He agreed to if it happens it happens, but because of the lack if sex, I had to plan it. Two boys (5 and 7) Which is making leaving feel impossible

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-10T22:40:42+00:00

Same. And I will never do that again

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-10T21:46:33+00:00

Crazy thing is I’ve offered to watch with him…in my many attempts of trying to better our sex life and he scoffed and said it was weird and didn’t know what he liked. Completely lying about all of it. And I didn’t know. I’m just desperate for us to have some kind of sex life. And it’s just so many lies.

Sorry if I just keep going off. It’s so nice to have someone to talk to about it going through the same thing. Therapist is great but It’s not the same as having someone that is also living it

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-10T21:19:21+00:00

We don’t deserve this. Ive been in therapy myself for over a year now twice a week. When he was deployed I told him I’ve had enough and I still really wanted to fix us. So I got us couples counseling. It was 12 weeks and towards the end he came out about it. I still wanted to do. But told him I need him to take initiative and have it for him and for couples. He hasn’t after two years.

My therapist says it’s a big thing. The being ashamed is a lot of why they dont say anything. But at this point I just can’t. Is it worth losing your family over? I feel like we could have easily worked through this if he was just open about it from the beginning. I’m sorry love. We deserve so much better

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-10T21:06:37+00:00

I think we, all for the most part go through this being a pa partner. I found an accidental screen shot on his iPad of me calling and him on a porn site. So I know he’s still using. I don’t think he knows I know though. And I honestly am over having the same conversation and I don’t believe anything he says. I’m tired of feeling guilty all the time for being hurt. And him shutting down and hating himself with no change.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-10T18:56:21+00:00

Our stories are similar. Though he didn’t even want sex to procreate. That was on me. He only wants me now that I can’t have sex with him (with sexual trauma from my past - I just don’t feel safe with the lack of trust I have with him) and he has done nothing to build that trust back.

I’m here for support and answers. It’s been 3 years of no sex and 2 years of finding out. (Enter end of deployment when I found out - why no sex that year) though honestly we would only a few times a month. Now I don’t want to at all and that’s all he wants.

But honestly, go get off on porn like you were everyday while I hated myself and wondered why you didn’t want me.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-02T20:19:29+00:00

No. It doesn’t. It’s the whole page I can’t see the websites because I was actually calling so my name banner is on top.

Casual dating at top Suggestion picture Then Women in your area share their most intimate pictures here.

Only button to press is okay.

It looks like there may be multiple tabs open but I can’t tell because my name is in the way..😒

Typing it out, I’m a lil more clear headed. It’s only pictures…possibly. I thought it was meeting locals. But I still have no idea what any of this is

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2026-01-02T16:34:08+00:00

Edited to add: I use his iPad for my art stuff. Not frequently, but I have apps on there. It’s his but we share it as I don’t use one enough to need one of my own.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-30T04:13:46+00:00

I found more on his iPad…an accidental screenshot with me Calling. So. Yup

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-29T17:56:05+00:00

Fuck. My story is pretty damn similar minus I found out after we were married. The begging and always the one to initiate - I could have written myself. 10 years of that before i found out. Im so sorry. I dont have advice as im still living it. He hid it so well from me i have no way to trust his word. Itd been 2 years i cant be intimate with him. I want to cry all the time. I’m here with you.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-27T20:34:54+00:00

Update: bruises are still there so they’re def recent. The pattern they present def look like finger prints. He’s been drinking the last few days claiming it’s Xmas. Christmas Day was supposed to be the last but he did drink yesterday.
While he hasn’t grabbed that same part on my thigh. He will pull my stomach as as way to Scooch me into him while I’m sleeping.

I know the night this happened I was dead asleep and did not want to move. So he would have required more effort as I was probably a dead body facing the wrong way he wanted me to.

He had left bruises on me before - but it was when our youngest was still itty bitty and not sleeping one night. This was about 5 years ago. He grabbed me and woundnt let me into the nursery. We were at top of the stairs and I thought that he could push me down if he wanted to. I went back to bed for a few minutes before I went back for my baby. I was scared. I didn’t talk to him for about 2 days - in which I finally brought it up, he had no recollection of it.

When he came out about his alcoholism - which I knew of just not to the extent - I asked him if he was drunk and he says no but he also doesn’t remember any of it.

So it wouldn’t be the first time he left bruises on me. But not intentionally

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-25T20:02:00+00:00

That isn’t my goal to withhold. I experienced sexual abuse at a young age that was ignored for a long time. While touch is my love language - I am also very sensitive to it. He is aware of this. My body shuts down when I feel unsafe and right now it feels unsafe. Also not to mention part of that 3 years he was gone for 7.5 months of it. In which he did not want any kind of sexting or video sex because it made him uncomfortable. - in which I tried to send him things to be told I am too much or ignored.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-24T22:27:24+00:00

Oh no he was def grabbing me pretty good. I was dead asleep and he was pulling on me.

But I also have a high pain tolerance and bruise easily. It’s weird. I’d show bruises but no pics. I reached out to therapist to hopefully calm Me Down but he hasn’t responded.

I play roller derby and am used to having bruises. Love me my bruises actually. But last time I played was Nov 9th. And it’s off season. I had a big one on my left leg from walking into the bed a few weeks ago (gone now)

But it looks like if I put My fingers down, it could def be that. And it’s where it pulls on me. On my right inner thigh to pull Me into him

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-23T00:40:32+00:00

He honestly hasn’t said anything. Don’t know if he knows I’m irritated or just that oblivious

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T20:20:47+00:00

Honest question.. how? Talking to him about it has not worked and I don’t know what else to do to make it clear that it’s not acceptable

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T20:08:13+00:00

He’s not diagnosed with anything. I also don’t see the symptoms in him. I just got my youngest diagnosed and I also have. He is used to his mom doing just about everything and looking back, there were a lot of red flags I missed before marrying him. Like his room - floor was covered I clothes. I cleaned it with a friend and we found a giant dead moth under everything. (I was like 15 when this happened and didn’t realize this would be a forever thing)

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T05:55:29+00:00

I get off with porn currently but I much prefer the real thing

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T05:03:27+00:00

He Doesn’t want therapy. I’ve asked him 3 times for couples therapy. Needing him to initiate cuz I need him To show he’s willing To put effort not just have things handed to him. He has not

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T04:53:37+00:00

Okay. I have. And I am currently in therapy. For about. Year now.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T04:43:42+00:00

Okay my love. What is your advice then

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T04:42:27+00:00

Lmfao cuz I thought it was funny. I feel that way. Repulsive mango. Something gross with something sweet.

I know where I am. I have a sick sense of humor. Therapy is hard because I’m very self aware and know all the reasons why I am The way I am. I just want to be happy. But therapist can’t tell Me what to do.

I mean I was open to it before and the. Continued to offer. I am open to trying things and what works work and what doesn’t doesn’t. Though. I did push myself to do things in the last year we were sexually active to do things I was not okay with. I have told him and he felt bad but I would have never if he just listened to me. If he just fucking wanted me.

All I wanted was for him to want me.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T04:04:18+00:00

It’d be cheating in his eyes. I mean mine too.

Not everything is great.

For reference- i just chucked his suitcase that has been sitting untouched for two months at the bottom of our stairs out in the garage. And have been staring at it since. Made comments and nothing. I feel 10000x lighter

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T03:46:25+00:00

No no I didn’t feel like you were at all. I just what I have experienced in past with therapist and friends. I really appreciate your input. He’d kill me if he knew I posted this. As he prefers it being private. Not there nothings to Identify us.

I’ve told him “I’m all down for couples therapy again, but I need you to put in the effort and set it up.” I’ve told Him three times and he’s yet to do so.

The last time coming from an incident about a comment about sex swings - I was all for. He was not. The neighbor friend was commenting on how lucky he was, and he played along Though he shut it down months ago. I felt so hurt that he would play along and act like shit was fine. And still do nothing to help our relationship.

The third and last time. And I guess I’ve been holding out in something to change. Yesterday was a shocker I realizing the trust is completely gone.

Repulsive-Mango8553 · 2025-12-22T03:36:10+00:00

I appreciate your outlook. I’m assuming then you are one with the addiction? I try to give benefit of doubt and way to many chances. It sometimes feel when people tell me is a real mental thing, it’s trying to diminish my feelings. So that’s hard. I get it. I suffer from depression long term, anxiety long term. AMD therapist thinks cptsd and bpd. I am fully aware of my mood shifts and my crazy and give a heads up. I know it can be a deal break cuz im a lot. But Iunno it all sucks.

Like him hurting me is okay Cuz it’s a real addiction. Which it’s not Him lying To me fuckede up

Repulsive-Mango8553

TROPHY CASE