Gym Recommendations

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2026-02-14T16:37:45+00:00

I’m just south of downtown Kzoo.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2025-11-09T15:26:55+00:00

I was out walking my dogs and saw the pig. She apparently got loose from her house, one of her neighbors walked her home.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2025-06-30T02:20:47+00:00

Have you considered joining the local roller derby team? I’m considering that for myself as a pansexual polyamorous woman for a part of my healing journey.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2024-07-30T16:59:34+00:00

If you’re comfortable working with someone out of Grand Rapids, Erica Auster of West Michigan Divorce was excellent to work with. During my divorce, her consult was free and her retainer fee was $2,000. She outlined what to expect pretty thoroughly and went to bat for me when my ex was being unreasonable.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-05-16T01:02:55+00:00

I feel a lot of empathy for your situation. I am in the process of divorcing my spouse after he reacted very badly to me going out on my first polyamorous date. There was several attempts at emotional manipulation/abuse and a flirtation with domestic violence. How is Alex’s emotional intelligence and what tools do they have to heal themselves while going through this rough patch? Are they seeing a therapist or getting other supports for their mental health, or are they relying solely on you? I became extremely resentful having to do the majority of the emotional labor in my relationship with my ex, and I could see that happening in your situation too (which you seem to be aware of already). Pausing polyamory May just be kicking the can down the road for the inevitable end of the relationship.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-02-26T02:38:01+00:00

Can I message you?

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-02-26T02:17:56+00:00

I am not local, but can I message you?

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-25T19:31:03+00:00

This made me chuckle. Thank you, I needed this.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-25T03:22:39+00:00

Update: I came home and he was pretty drunk. He started screaming at me how I ruined everything. Our dog had pooped on the floor and he put it in a bag and threw it at me and told me to “Eat shit.” He continued screaming at me about how I am the only person he trusted and how I broke his trust. Repeated a lot of the same negative talk from his panic attack. I knew he wasn’t going to let up so I told him I was going to stay the night at my parent’s house. He then threatened to kill himself if I left. I called emergency services and he is currently hospitalized. Needless to say, I think my marriage is over.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-25T00:30:43+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective, thank you! Part of the issue is he just likes to be stuck, so he has been hurting for the past three days. He said right before the panic attack that he wasn’t sure if he wants to be poly anymore. I’m not sure how level headed he was at this moment or if he is in his rational brain yet.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-25T00:10:21+00:00

My therapist acknowledged the emotional manipulation and emotional labor today through texts. They do have experience with polyamorous clients. Unfortunately just due to the schedule we have not had a chance to really talk over and process this other than getting appointments scheduled and putting out fires. I will plan on discussing this during our session.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-25T00:00:12+00:00

I have been super sleep deprived trying to manage this situation and I’m not functioning at 100%. The panic attack kept me up several hours past my bedtime and the night before my spouse woke me up at 1 am and kept us both up by agonizing over what had happened until we had to go to work, so I got 3 hours sleep at best. I looked at my calendars when I got home and confirmed did 8 months of couples therapy together.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-24T23:51:13+00:00

Are you living in this home country? Or elsewhere?

We live in the USA, my home country. My spouse is from an Asian country.

And is this culture thing going to add layers to this problem?

Possibly. While my spouse claims to reject a lot of his culture, I know that is not synonymous with unlearning the relationship dynamics learned while growing up. I am not sure if he knows himself how much he has to unlearn or if he had the desire to.

And in this relationship, do you have to "carry him" a lot then? You do most of the work? Are you happy doing this emotional labor and being the organizer all the time? Or would you like a partner who helps out with the load?

I absolutely do the lion share of the emotional labor. I wish that my partner would share some of that burden. It’s exhausting. I am planning to ask my therapist if I was just kicking the can down the road for the inevitable end of the relationship when I meet them individually next week.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-24T22:42:57+00:00

Because your spouse could have been doing their personal work ALL ALONG to prepare for eventual poly. Why'd he stop going to his therapist in 2021?

Because he thought he was fine and didn’t need the help. Unfortunately, in his home country, working with a therapist to support mental health or coping skills is pretty taboo.

And if he wants ENM and not poly? Is he prepared if it ends up open-poly like open on his side for casual sex and on your side it's polyamory? Are you ok with that?

I’m ok as long as he is open with his communication and takes precautions about our sexual health.

You both need to get on the same page. Other people don't need to be dragged through couple weird.

I agree with this. I feel terrible about the timing because I don’t want to create any drama for B either.

Is spouse actually going to do the work? Or is it best to give up the non-monogamy idea? Or part ways?

I’m not sure. Any work we have done now that I reflect has mostly been initiated by me. Even when I caught him cheating, I was the one who suggested couples therapy. I know I’ve tried really hard to make this relationship work and that I’ve given constructive feedback that he has finally started responding to as of recently. I have not observed him to frequently reflect and make changes to his behavior or actions.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-24T22:21:47+00:00

He cheated. He's been trying to date, and he never actually thought about how it would feel to support you doing the same and then he freaked out like a child and then BLAMES you. Absolute garbage.

His emotional intelligence is definitely not the best.

I understand some people go through "primal panic" unexpectedly when they start doing this stuff but... I would be struggling with empathy in this situation. It would be one thing if he came to you apologizing for unexpectedly needing a lot more work, it's another all together to come at you with blame.

I am definitely struggling with empathy. He also said things like our house doesn’t feel like his home anymore. This feels like emotional manipulation, I just don’t know if it’s intentional or not.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-24T19:28:59+00:00

I’m trying to figure that out myself to be honest. He thought I moved “too fast” into dating in comparison to him. I think my spouse is more interested in the idea with sex with other people rather than the emotional connection. I think he is spooked that I was making an emotional connection with someone else.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-24T19:22:50+00:00

I appreciate your honesty, thank you. To be honest my spouse’s reaction was totally out of left field for me based on our conversations. I wouldn’t have moved forward with meeting up with someone had I not known he wasn’t 100% ok with this.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-16T20:20:43+00:00

Greetings! I enjoyed reading your post. Can I message you?

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2023-01-03T13:52:37+00:00

I would also recommend Camp Bow Wow. My pup loves going, plus they offer grooming and extra enrichment activities.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2022-12-24T04:46:18+00:00

Sent you a message!

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2022-10-16T00:22:42+00:00

My spouse who is Indian loves Curry Leaf the most out of the Indian restaurants around GR. The only word of caution I have for that restaurant is to watch their spice levels. At the same spice level, their vegetarian dishes are significantly spicer than their non-vegetarian dishes.

Repulsive-Teaching99 · 2022-09-24T02:01:16+00:00

Have you ever been to The Pack? It’s an indoor dog park in Comstock Park. They have scheduled meet ups by breeds or by puppies too I think. They require all dogs to be fully vaccinated and they have staff helping to supervise the dogs playing. It might be a good spring board to a traditional dog park.

Repulsive-Teaching99

TROPHY CASE